my journal 3

In the past six months I wasted a lot of money 1) with compulsive gambling and 2) by not trading my systems (I'd be at 30k now), and I deeply regret this. But at the same time, given that I did not fund my trading account since January, and that I used it to pay for the server, my other account has grown, and, despite wasting all this time, money and opportunities, the damage merely consists of having wasted 3 months (considering I benefited from the other 3 months in terms of capital and experience). The only damage is thinking "what could have been". I wasted six months, but now I have a lot more experience and more capital (4k more) than six months ago... and so, except for that feeling of regret, of having wasted six months, I should actually be more confident now than I was when I started in early january.

Now the big question mark is if I will be able to stay away from compulsive gambling, as I could not do for these last six months. The big question is if I'll do sit ups and push ups when i'll feel restless. All I need to do to succeed is this: trade the signals coming from my systems. If I trade discretionary, I do not use a stoploss, and if I do not do that, and I never do it, accidents happen, such as losing a lot more than necessary and expected.

I must not confuse the desire to kill with the desire to trade, or eat. The desire to kill (colleagues, neighbours, etcetera) is vented out with exercise. The desire to trade should not be there, and if it's there, it is mistaken, because it also stems from the desire to kill (and the frustration for being unable to do it). Just the same with eating: if you're full, there's no need to eat, and if you're eating it is certainly because you're restless. It will go away if you do some pushups. One must not confuse restlessness with hunger, nor mistake restlessness for trading opportunities.

Thanks to this psychological investigation and findings, I've successfully overcome any overeating habits I had, and I have completely stopped scratching my head and my nose, regardless of having had a stressful day. One must understand his needs and the way to answer those needs properly, without hurting himself.

Now that I have a tradable account again, let's see if I can apply what I've learned to curb or rather eliminate the damage of all compulsive behaviours, including compulsive gambling. Next week will tell.

I did have to make one discretionary trade without a stoploss, because the trade by the systems might have come too late and I might have incurred the monthly fee (which you get charged for not trading) and gone below 2000 again. So I had to close my euro position (cfr.previous posts) and go short on the ZN right away (also because it was a good opportunity). So ok, now I have a ZN short position, and once it will be closed (pretty quickly, because I have a pretty reachable Limit order, there will be no more discretionary trades. At least if my self psychotherapy works.
 
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Infowars Reporter - Sugar Coated Control - YouTube

Aspartame controversy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Publicity of this controversy has been spread through an elaborate health scare[10] and "Internet smear campaign"[11] involving hoax[10][12][11] e-mails repeating Betty Martini's widely circulated conspiracy theory. Her undocumented claims are still repeated by thousands of self-published Web sites.

Aspartame has been found to be safe for human consumption by more than ninety countries worldwide,[13][14] with FDA officials describing aspartame as "one of the most thoroughly tested and studied food additives the agency has ever approved" and its safety as "clear cut".[4] The weight of existing scientific evidence indicates that aspartame is safe as a non-nutritive sweetener.[8]
Click to expand...
If wikipedia says aspartame is safe, then it means it is deadly.

DORway » Aspartame & Aspartame Poisoning Information Site - Is Wikipedia Really a Steaming Turd?
CIA, FBI computers used for Wikipedia edits | Reuters
Program shows CIA behind Wikipedia entries - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)
 
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Naomi Wolf s 10 Steps to a Fascist Police State - YouTube

Naomi Wolf - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
In The End of America: A Letter of Warning to a Young Patriot, Wolf takes a historical look at the rise of fascism, outlining the 10 steps necessary for a fascist group (or government) to destroy the democratic character of a nation-state and subvert the social/political liberty previously exercised by its citizens:

1.Invoke a terrifying internal and external enemy
2.Create secret prisons where torture takes place
3.Develop a thug caste or paramilitary force not answerable to citizens
4.Set up an internal surveillance system
5.Harass citizens' groups
6.Engage in arbitrary detention and release
7.Target key individuals
8.Control the press
9.Treat all political dissidents as traitors
10.Suspend the rule of law[24]
The book details how this pattern was implemented in Nazi Germany, Fascist Italy, and elsewhere, and analyzes its emergence and application in American political affairs since the September 11 attacks.[25][26]
Click to expand...

Good girl.

How to create a Police State in 10 easy steps

Awesome interview:

Naomi Wolf: 'Obama can lock any US citizen up without trial' - YouTube

...

The truth is catching on.

Readers, I think this journal will not last much longer. The truth is spreading on the web, and the truth is that they've been poisoning us, with water, food and from the sky, manipulating us with the manufactured state terror: oklahoma city, wtc, and so on. The only thing keeping them from success in ruling the world is the internet, that got away, "the one that got away":

Scent of a Woman (3/8) Movie CLIP - The One That Got Away (1992) HD - YouTube

The truth is spreading... and they're taking countermeasures, SOPA, PIPA...:
All About PIPA and SOPA, the Bills That Want to Censor Your Internet

Soon the internet won't exist anymore. And knowledge will be suppressed.

SOPA - PIPA Explained and Who or What is Behind It All - YouTube

Sopa/Pipa almost but not totaly dead yet. - YouTube

ALERT!!! SOPA = FEMA CAMPS for US CITIZENS!!! - YouTube

You see, their strength is in holding the knowledge, and the internet goes against this, because it allows everyone to access and spread knowledge. So they'll have to stop the internet, in order to be fully in control. If they don't stop it... they'll lose.

There's many trends conflicting here. The more time with the internet, the more people learn. The more time goes by, the more people get killed... time is both in our favor and against us. Because yes, we do know what is going on, but the majority is still in the dark, and in the meanwhile they're killing us.

With the aluminum chemtrails they're going to make us dependent on Monsanto for aluminum-resistant seeds. Then we'll need monsanto for food. But then, also, monsanto can choose anything it wants for us, the world. Their plan is moving along. The question is if their plan will go faster than our capability to wake up. And the majority is still sleeping.
 
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