my journal 3

it is now 22.21

no compulsive gambling today either - have been gambling-free for weeks now

pressure is mounting on me though, at work... i have to be very careful - this is exactly the situation when i start to gamble, 1) to escape reality and 2) to actually try to get out of my reality faster - it always ends up in failure

Matrix - Soundtrack - YouTube

today no action, two trades, one won one lost

wednesdays and thursdays usually see the most action

tomorrow is wednesday

let's hope that action brings profit and profit keeps gambling away

also action deprives me of margin and that makes it harder to gamble (i'd have to close trades by the systems)

tomorrow i have to meet my friend on skype again and help him with that website, so i am busy starting at 6 pm

need to find something to keep me busy until 5.30 at least
 
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Hmm, pretty good response from a couple of colleagues I went on a coffee break with. They reassured me quite a bit about my situation here at work, at least as far as my reputation.

Nonetheless, for whatever reason, human resources wants to move me. It might even be because of some political connections i have which makes me incompatible with the compliance department. I can't be monitoring politicians if I am related to them. But it could also be that other thing I've mentioned repeatedly, which is the fact that I criticized my boss and that i don't kiss up to any of the bosses. Or it could be both.

I decided that today's movie will be this:
Taken 2 (2012) - IMDb

I'll watch it at a theater near home. It starts at 15.10. Hopefully the systems are going to produce some profit because i am getting very tired of drinking beer and watching movies.
 
Another hour and 15 minutes to go.

I feel pretty good.

Dunno, some people talking to me, being nice to me, and not because i am leaving because no one really knows about this. Not even I know.

This really sucks, although I cannot say it's unfair.

The boss has the right to move you, regardless of whether you work conscientiously, are liked and appreciated by everyone and so on, and more things in my favor. Plenty of them.

Things against me: I don't kiss up to the bosses, I criticize them when they are making mistakes and they're asking me my opinion. Especially when it's related to my work.

That's it: the boss is an idiot, the boss is an asshole... whatever the reason: you're getting moved somewhere else because the boss doesn't like you.

I have to pay this price for not saying hi to anyone when i cross them in the hallway.

I decided to be like that, and I have to pay the price.

I decided to criticize the boss openly, and I have to pay the price.

I decided to be extreme, as I always am, and I am going to have to pay the price.

At the same time, there's not too much they can really do against me, within the bank.

Yes, of course, Kennedy got killed for being a conscientious president, whereas Bush got reelected for being a corrupt president.

So things can get really bad even for people who are behaving conscientiously.

In fact, JFK didn't obey his bosses, whoever were the powers that be at those times. He cared about the interest of the people, and he got killed for it.

I'm not going to get killed for doing my work properly and standing up for my work. I am going to get moved. Most likely. Sometime during the next six months I am predicting.

How much more can they damage me for being a conscientious non-butt kissing employee?

They can't fire me. They cannot take my salary. They cannot demote me.

I guess that knowing about Kennedy and also about my father's political experience, the bank cannot do anything to me that I am not able to withstand. I am intelligent and hard-working enough to work well wherever they place me. At the start I won't say anything, just work. After a few years I start standing by my work and standing up for my work. That's when I get in trouble.

So, wherever they place me, I'll be ok.

The depressing thing is that they're winning this battle. But that's almost behind me. I have accepted the idea that they have this power over me. The boss usually wins. That's part of being the boss. I had it my way for too long with him. It's time to pay the price.

One nice thing, one satisfaction, I'd like to get before moving is success with trading.

If I can reach at least 20k by the time they move me, they're going to move an entirely different person. Not that I'd work any differently.

But they're going to move a very confident person. Because if my trading produces profit, I won't give a **** about the bank for real. And I could even quit. But I cannot say this yet.

All the capital I have so far was made via discretionary trading. Almost all of it. I need another month, according to my expectations, to see any real profit from my systems, in the neighborhood of 6000.

I hope I get it. I hope I get to stay another 2 months in peace, here. And without being bothered by my boss.
 
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Students who refuse to be micro-chipped are punished by tyrannical Texas schools
Students who refuse to be micro-chipped are punished by Texas schools, page 1
That's what's happening to students at John Jay High School and Anson Jones Middle School in San Antonio whose parents refuse to have their children tracked by school officials.
Click to expand...
You may not agree with David Icke, but a phrase he uses is the 'Totalitarian Tiptoe', the idea that those who seek an agenda will do so in baby steps as to avoid sounding the alarm amongst the masses. If they take small steps, then they can eventually reach a goal that would not have been accepted had they tried to implement it outright.

The elite cannot force the whole population to have RFID chips implanted in their bodies right now, but they can introduce measures that will work towards that goal...
Click to expand...
 
Paul Drockton: Is Mitt Romney a CIA/Mossad Asset?
Every President from Carter to Obama has kissed the Bush Ring and swore to uphold the interest of "The Crown". The Intelligence Community also has a history of using pedophilia and narcotics to compromise and blackmail politicians into staying loyal to "The Crown".

Romney is endorsed by Bush. This means that Mitt Romney will uphold the interests of the "Crown" and work to bring about their "New World Order". Romney also has his own links to the intelligence communities...
Click to expand...
Yeah. We think, in the "conspiracy theorists" community, that Romney has already won. It has been decided that he will win.
 
Nope, watched Killer Joe, because some lady distracted me and kept me at work for an extra hour.

Killer Joe was pretty good: I stayed at the movie theater for three quarters of the movie.

Watch it here for free:
Killer Joe 2011 TubeMotion.Com | PutLocker

It's almost like a dark comedy, what do you call it, "grotesque". But it's too realistic to be a comedy, so I had to stop watching it. You cannot really laugh at something that seems real and that doesn't respect pain (being a comedy). It's too realistic to be a comedy. Kind of like the way Pulp Fiction bothered me. But if you liked Pulp Fiction, you might like this one even better. This, too, might be a cult movie one day.

But for me it is no masterpiece. Not compassionate and sensitive enough for realism, not extreme enough to be a dark comedy. It sucks basically, but the acting is excellent. Amazing acting, but not an amazing movie.
 
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"division number five of the FBI"

Denali - Look To The Sky Ft. Alex Jones (Official Hip Hop Music Video) - YouTube

Don Henley Inside Job (Mind of Mayhem) - YouTube

Revolution(wake up) - Payday Monsanto f/AMPKILLA - YouTube

holy cow... alex jones in all three of them, and i chose them randomly among the best ones of the truther music... if alex jones turns out to be a cointelpro agent, as len horowitz and stew webb say (stew webb says they work for "division number five of the FBI"), then we're all screwed

Watch how stew webb talks about alex jones and ted gunderson at minute 52 - he certainly doesn't look like he's lying:
Stew Webb, Len Horowitz, Sherri Kane - FBI Stooges and those that promote them - YouTube

I got this from the description under the above video:
We were being attacked constantly during this interview with Stew Webb, Len Horowitz and Sherri Kane. They took out my internet connection repeatedly and also Stew's phone. There are many questions brought up during this interview that must be asked of all those that promoted Ted Gunderson and the other FBI stooges that are exposed here. Although I was an Alex Jones fan for over 5 years, I now know that he has agenda. You will see all the questions that must be asked of Alex Jones and others that constantly promoted FBI stooge - Ted Gunderson in the article below.

Please carefully read all the evidence at these 3 links that has been compiled over years. Alex Jones fooled me for 5 years before I got all the data on him.

FBI Stooges: Ted Gunderson and Others that Helped Him Infiltrate the Truth Movement! - Project Nsearch

and on these 2 pages

Please read these two pages for much more information about Ted Gunderson

Ted Gunderson

Ted Gunderson
Click to expand...
time for me to read something, namely this:
FBI Stooges: Ted Gunderson and Others that Helped Him Infiltrate the Truth Movement! - Project Nsearch

Anybody that knows me knows that I was a devoted Alex Jones fan for many years and promoted him on our shows all the time! I thought he was a funny guy that actually did the best he could at spreading the truth. In fact I probably should have been paid for all the publicity I gave to Alex! I even paid to go see him in Orlando Florida very recently! But now I realize that my faith in Alex Jones was misplaced and he needs to be held accountable for many things. There are many questions that must be asked of Alex Jones and those will be covered in this article.
Click to expand...

I kept my faith in Alex Jones and went to see him earlier this year in Orlando even after a great man, Dr. Coldwell told me that Alex Jones was controlled by somebody and wasn't there to save the country only to spread fear! Dr Coldwell who has cured over 35,000 people of cancer told me personally at a 2011 conference in South Carolina that his doctor friends, who had been on the Alex Jones Show many times, repeatedly told Alex Jones to get Dr. Coldwell on his program for YEARS!
Click to expand...

By the way, I'm not saying that the articles on Alex Jones are disinfo because he does cover real issues. If he didn't, he would have been uncovered a long time ago! What I'm saying is that he censors guests with very important information on the Bush crime syndicate, shills for known FBI stooges and is NOT operating in the best interests of his listeners! He also has never taken real action such as 10th Amendment drives, petitions to recall those that voted for the NDAA and the protection and promotion of those such as Stew Webb that could have already gone to court against the Bush crime syndicate with his mountains of evidence! Instead he fired his radio show hosts that dared talk about Stew Webb! Does that sound like a man that wants to take REAL action and get to the truth? If you're an Alex Jones fan read the evidence on this page and on Stew Webb Whistleblower US Intel Breaking News and watch the videos. Start asking your own questions because Alex Jones MUST answer for many things. These are FACTS. I had no axe to grind with Alex Jones, I protected this man for five years before I put the pieces together for myself.
Click to expand...


yep, there's many signs that alex jones is a stooge indeed

the only sign that he isn't a stooge is that he's spreading a lot of truth, and louder than anyone else.

but for once stew webb and his friends are showing me the way to doubt correctly alex jones and to question him: why was he supporting ted gunderson? why has he associated with people from the fbi? has he?

alex jones might have an agenda which is not to expose the truth, but to expose some of the truth (maybe the one that's out anyway), gain popularity that way, and then hide the rest of the truth, the one that matters the most. If you're very popular it might work.

The only thing that looks amazing to me is that alex has been working in this direction since he was 21, so how on earth can a person be so consistent for 20 years?

...

Is there such a thing as FBI division 5, as stew webb says? Well, it seems so:
Was William Sullivan Murdered? - JFK Assassination Debate - The Education Forum
Sullivan was a strong advocate for the FBI war against liberals. Sullivan was in charge of FBI's Division Five. This involved smearing leaders of left-wing organizations. This included the campaign against Martin Luther King. In January, 1964, Sullivan sent a memo to Hoover: "It should be clear to all of us that King must, at some propitious point in the future, be revealed to the people of this country and to his Negro followers as being what he actually is - a fraud, demagogue and scoundrel. When the true facts concerning his activities are presented, such should be enough, if handled properly, to take him off his pedestal and to reduce him completely in influence."

One would have Sullivan to have kept quiet about his illegal activities. However, Sullivan eventually became disillusioned with FBI’s campaigns against the left. For example, by the early 1970s Sullivan began to disagree with Hoover about...
Click to expand...
Certainly though there's no wikipedia entry on division five. So maybe this is all true. Given that wikipedia is under their control.

Federal Bureau of Investigation - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

775px-FBI-organizational-chart.jpg

Barbara Hartwell Vs. CIA: The Truth: A Matter of Principle
In closing, we bring you a major alert that the FBI Division 5 stooges are at it again forging my name on the internet offering bribes and payoffs to former colleagues of mine. All of this includes blackmail and intimidation.

These sociopaths like Tim White and a known FBI Division 5 disinfo COINTELPRO artist named Barbara Hartwell are all over the internet trying to create confusion all to benefit the role of the continued occupation of the United States by the Bush-Clinton Crime Family Syndicate.
Click to expand...

But I'll stop here, because i can sense this is how you get a swat team sent to your house, as happened to stew webb. I don't want to mess with the cointelpro. That's the fastest way to get myself killed.

In closing, what proofs do i have that alex jones works for the FBI? Just as many as i have that he does not. But then again: what is the chance that stew webb works for the fbi? Very small. And he says that alex jones works for the fbi. Since he's not crazy either, then some doubts regarding alex jones are still in my mind. But not the certainty.

And you know what? I don't even have any certainty about ted gunderson. He seems totally in good faith here:

5 What's in that Quarter Pounder ? Down the Rabbit Hole with Ted Gunderson - YouTube
 
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more with stew webb

CIA Terror In America by Stew Webb July1999 - YouTube

Stew_Webb_Video_1_1993.wmv - YouTube

holy ****!

In 1993 he was already exposing crimes by the government - this guy has a whole lot of credibility to me. If I had to choose between believing him and alex jones, I would have to believe him. Money talks and law talks. He knows law, he turned them in, he was persecuted, and he has been having no fame, no popularity, no success whatsoever! To me this guy has integrity and credibility.
 
Dude, still alive.

Here's the deal. Today the systems lost another 400 dollars. Now capital is at a mere 9500 dollars. Still more than i'd have had i engaged in compulsive gambling.

Tomorrow some trades will be missed. I'll do my best to make sure all trades are made. So far, in the past few weeks, one trade has been missed and it meant a missed profit of 2000 dollars. That was bad enough.

And the margin was there, would have been there, had it not been for a discretionary trade I had started on ZN. How much profit did that produce? Zero. Thanks to it, i missed a profit of 2000 on another trade. Just great.

Now I am going full automated. Today the margin wasn't there for an NQ trade, but I caught up with it after some other trades were closed: the price was as good as the regular entry price would have been.

Other than this, I'll go to sleep in a few minutes. Eating healthy as usual.

Dunno about tomorrow, if I should go to a movie or not. Probably... certainly i will not go to a movie, because with this limited capital, I need to be here and make sure all trades get made even with the small margin available.

The journal is close to 56,000 views and this is the good news: it's getting almost 500 views per day. Maybe that's a bit too much and it's not getting that many every day. Let's say that it's getting hundreds of views per day on a regular basis. I am really satisfied about that.

Oops, the boss just came. Now I have work. Good.
 
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Nothing to say this morning. I don't feel like complaining about anything. I came pretty early so I'll be able to leave at 3 sharp. Will be home at 3.15, and that way I can monitor and make sure every trade gets made despite the low margin.

It's 10.11 and roommate is still on his way to this room. Not complaining about it really. Actually it's better for me.

Nothing really that I feel saying, either good or bad. Not much work to do either, actually zero work right now.
 
Hello fellas, back.

Today I was walking in the hallway and i met this former roommate of mine... the "idiot with the radio", for those who've read my earlier journals. We've been roommates for a year, before Vito the Chimp.

He's a labor union representative, and I told him about my problem and that they want to move me, and he said, why don't you let me help you? I did. Now I am part of his union, and if they mess with me, the union will kick their asses. All jokes aside, let's hope it works and I don't get moved. Of course now i feel like I've crossed the rubicon, and made enemies with the management - but hey, they were already my enemies, because they're idiots. Never had any problems with previous managements. The die is cast.

This reminds me of the scene with the labor union leader of Once Upon A Time In America, Jim O'Donnell (played by treat williams)...

ONCE UPON A TIME IN AMERICA / Dawno temu w Ameryce - Trailer (1984) [360p] - YouTube

Couldn't find the video, but this above is better than nothing.

The way the union got me convinced is simple: I cannot bear the thought that, because I had the guts to stand up to my boss to defend my work, I am now being moved to another office. If he's the idiot, why do i have to move? He's certainly the idiot. There are no doubts about it. So I am not ok with moving out of the office, because an idiot became the boss of the office. He's going to have to move out. I am going to make an effort to outlast this idiot. I am ****ing pissed off that 1) it's not enough that i work, 2) it's not enough that i bother no one, 3) it's not enough that i don't kiss up for promotions... I also am expected to lie about what it means to work conscientiously and pretend that my boss isn't destroying all the work we've done up to the moment before he came. No sir, this time I am going to stand up to them. Not that much. But I will show a little bit of resistance. I am not going to let them suffocate me, choke me to death quietly, because that's what they're doing. All nice and smiling, while they're taking steps to move me out of there.

Now let's look at the battlefield again (i've looked before to make sure no trades had been missed):

Snap1.jpg

Still a bad week, I mean: yet another bad week. Capital now at about 9300.

The trades are still very open though. A lot can happen.

...

ouch!

Capital at 8k now, with big losses from all over the place:

Snap2.jpg

I'm gonna run the account into the ground if necessary, but i'll stick to my systems.

...

ouch!

my account keeps losing altitude and it's only 2000 dollars away from crashing. Now we're at 7500 dollars of capital. Pretty soon I won't be able to trade the present combination of systems.

...

ouch!

capital now at 7200

let's try to keep calm

capital is now at 7100

hey, i did not gamble this time - zero gambling

6800

trouble!

margin call, among the other things

can't do anything but pray

I guess i can't get lucky twice: last time starting with 4000 of capital worked all right - not this time

drawdown at work, drawdown with trading

hey, it could be worse, it could be raining

It Could Be Worse - YouTube

...

ouch

6700

...

ouch, they closed my NG trade

...

capital at 7000 again - breathing

...

u know what? i am incurring a drawdown both at work and at home with trading, but in both cases my conscience is clean and this is what matters. At work my duty is to work, and i've been doing it, so I can stand up to the boss for my rights. And my right is to not be moved away from my department, just because an idiot boss was assigned to my office.

At home, with trading, there's no trade union that can save me from the markets or defend my rights or the rights of my automated systems. But there's dignity in losing after doing hard work and following the right method. More dignity than in winning by doing the wrong things.

My conscience is clean in both cases. I feel ok.
 
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ouch, day is over - lost thousands

so quickly that i didnt even realize it

no gambling though, and i am still in the game

pretty satisfied with myself, despite the widespread adversity all around me

the me of years ago would have started gambling by now, and lost the entire capital, but instead now i am better than i was, and despite all the adversity, i am still in the game and I still have some capital left... less than 7000 though
 
Ouch ouch...

Snap1.jpg

capital is now at 6500

I think i will still avoid gambling today

but monday i will need a movie, because I am at great risk of tampering with the systems now that they're incurring this huge drawdown
 
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nibiru, astronomy, tsunamis, anunnaki prophecies...

They might be on to something here
View attachment Orion Talk Radio 2012 09 27 12 05 56_part1.mp3
View attachment Orion Talk Radio 2012 09 27 12 05 56_part2.mp3

I got it from here (Morning Brew archive of September 27th, 2012):
Orion Talk Radio

It's this girl being interviewed:
Cowgirl Revere - YouTube

In other words, the world will experience massive tsunamis within a year, due to planet nibiru or whatever it's called or whatever it is.

This is being hidden from us, like a lot of other things are being hidden, of which many I have mentioned on this journal. This is no surprise if it's the case, because even intelligent people live in the utmost ignorance.

Apparently, according to this person I met in a chat, this was told before by the anunnaki to popes and to US presidents. But again, they never bother to tell us, except John Paul II in while talking about the third prophecy of Fatima:
The Third Secret of Fatima - Original Text
POPE JOHN PAUL II and THE THIRD SECRET OF FATIMA
(From QUEEN Magazine, published by the Mantfort Fathers-Bayshore, New York September, l983)

The German magazine "Stimme des Glaubens," has published the following account of Pope John Paul II's interview, with a small group of German Catholics, on the occasion of his visit to Fuida, in November of 1980. We are reproducing it here for the benefit of our readers.
THE QUESTION: "Holy Father, what has become of the 3rd Secret of Fatima? According to Our Lady's instructions, wasn't it supposed to be revealed in 1960? And what will happen in the Church?"
'THE HOLY FATHER'S RESPONSE: "Because of the seriousness of its contents, in order not to encourage the world wide power of Communism to carry out certain coups, my Prederessors in the Chair of Peter have diplomatically preferred to withhold its publication.
"On the other hand, it should be sufficient for all Christians to know this much: if there is a message in which it is said that the oceans will flood entire sections of the earth; that, from one moment to the other, millions of people will perish...there is no longer any point in really wanting to publish this secret message.
"Many want to know merely out of curiosity, or because of their taste for sensationalism, but they forget that 'to know' implies for them a responsibility. It is dangerous to want to satisfy one's curiosity only, if one is convinced that we can do nothing aganst a catastrophe that has been predicted."
At this point, the Holy Father took hold of his Rosary and said: "Here is the remedy against the evil! Pray, pray and ask for nothing else. Put everything in the hands of the Mother of God!"
Then he went on to say: "We must be prepared to undergo great trials in the not-to-distant future; trials that will require us to be ready to give up even our lives, and a total gift of self to Christ and for Christ. Through your prayers and mine, it is possible to alleviate this tribulation, but it is no longer possible to avert it, because it is only in this way that the Church can be effectively renewed. How many times, indeed, has the renewal of the Church been effected in blood? This time, again, it will not be otherwise.
"We must be strong, we must prepare ourselves, we must entrust ourselves to Christ and to His holy Mother, and we must be attentive, very attentive, to the prayer of the Rosary. "
Click to expand...
Just in case, I will have to postpone living on the house by the beach for the next year.

Dude, apparently I'd come off as crazy by talking of these things, but after finding out about 911, a whole universe opens up to you, and what sounds crazy is most likely the truth, and what sounds reassuring and "normal" is most likely just a lie.

Now, according to my chat buddy and to this girl in the interview (listen to mp3s above), the US government is already relocating things in preparation for this.

Then again, the US government may be relocating things in advance of peak oil, in preparation for financial collapse, civil war... what have you.

Whatever the case, whoever is still alive a year from now will be having a lot of fun. I mean, he won't be bored.

More info on nibiru here:
Nibiru cataclysm - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
EARTH TO COLLIDE WITH NIBIRU ON NOVEMBER 21, 2012! | Weekly World News

Listen, again... investigate all crazy theories, because they're much more likely to be true than what they feed you on mainstream media.

 
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damn, it keeps on getting worse

Snap1.jpg

the good news is that I am still alive, and that there's still some capital left
 
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