Yamato
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I was coming home today and I had my usual blasphemous thoughts.
Animals are very similar to us. Why don't they get to go to heaven? Why are they eaten by other animals? There is no way that lions will ever learn not to eat antelopes so god is condemning antelopes to be eaten by lions, since he created both animals.
Given such a god, how can I say, like other Catholics, that god is infinitely generous? He does not even give me the certainty of eternal life.
I mean, if after all this reasoning, I were to say that god is infinitely loving and generous, I would first of all be insincere, and break one of the ten commandments, and second of all, I would be kissing up to god, in order to get eternal life. In both cases, they don't seem good behaviors.
So what choice, knowing and thinking all these things, do I now have?
Should I pretend and say like the others, almighty and all-loving god, I adore you?
I just bring myself to doing that, because it seems insincere.
Furthermore, given these thoughts how could I ever give my life for my faith in god? I don't even the certainty that such a god exists. For all I know we seem to be in a huge cylindrical fish tank, as part of an experiment. A fish tank where he threw in some sharks, and some demons as well. It seems quite close to the Colosseum, and we are very close to gladiators.
I won't risk eternal damnation by saying what I probably deep inside think and that is that god seems to be even cruel.
All I can do at this point is try to follow his commandments, at least those that do not contradict one another. I can't make myself believe that god created me to adore him no matter what. In other words, I am not going to kiss up to god, just as I don't kiss up to my boss at work. In the same way I won't lie to god, just as I don't lie to my boss.
I want eternal life and I am going to try to get it, if it is possible at all, but I can't go against those that seem healthy and good principles, such as sincerity and honesty.
It seems to me that Christians who say that god is so loving and so generous are instead afraid of god and kissing up to god, just like many employees who say beautiful things about their bosses, especially when their bosses are able to hear them.
I can tell you from now that sooner or later I will be begging god on my knees, which is even more than kissing up. However, that day you will know that I am not being sincere whatever else I happen to say. Now I am being rational and I am telling you these blasphemous thoughts, that is that I don't find god that generous or loving.
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more reasoning
Now that I realized about flat earth, I also realized that we are in a tank, from which we can't get out. It is like cylindrical fish tank.
Someone says there is Jesus, a loving Jesus, on the other side, waiting for us. But all this loving is not being shown to us right now. We are asked to be faithful and believe this story.
But who says that on the other side there will be a god who rewards faith, or even gullibility?
What if there is a god who values intelligence?
What if I managed to make both hypothetical gods happy?
Now, it seems that dying on the cross is not a requirement for going to heaven. So wouldn't it make sense to avoid that course of action? Also, just in case I am wrong about the whole thing...
Another thing. What if we are just an experiment in a lab, that seems huge to us, but in fact we're nothing but a fish tank in a lab, where they threw in some demons, some animals, humans and some hopes, such as resurrection, god, Jesus... and then sat and watched. This is chilling an hypothesis, but it cannot be ruled out and it seems quite possible.
In the meanwhile, my dad has spent his whole life to try and change the Italian political system for the better, while we're probably nothing but someone's experiment.
Animals are very similar to us. Why don't they get to go to heaven? Why are they eaten by other animals? There is no way that lions will ever learn not to eat antelopes so god is condemning antelopes to be eaten by lions, since he created both animals.
Given such a god, how can I say, like other Catholics, that god is infinitely generous? He does not even give me the certainty of eternal life.
I mean, if after all this reasoning, I were to say that god is infinitely loving and generous, I would first of all be insincere, and break one of the ten commandments, and second of all, I would be kissing up to god, in order to get eternal life. In both cases, they don't seem good behaviors.
So what choice, knowing and thinking all these things, do I now have?
Should I pretend and say like the others, almighty and all-loving god, I adore you?
I just bring myself to doing that, because it seems insincere.
Furthermore, given these thoughts how could I ever give my life for my faith in god? I don't even the certainty that such a god exists. For all I know we seem to be in a huge cylindrical fish tank, as part of an experiment. A fish tank where he threw in some sharks, and some demons as well. It seems quite close to the Colosseum, and we are very close to gladiators.
I won't risk eternal damnation by saying what I probably deep inside think and that is that god seems to be even cruel.
All I can do at this point is try to follow his commandments, at least those that do not contradict one another. I can't make myself believe that god created me to adore him no matter what. In other words, I am not going to kiss up to god, just as I don't kiss up to my boss at work. In the same way I won't lie to god, just as I don't lie to my boss.
I want eternal life and I am going to try to get it, if it is possible at all, but I can't go against those that seem healthy and good principles, such as sincerity and honesty.
It seems to me that Christians who say that god is so loving and so generous are instead afraid of god and kissing up to god, just like many employees who say beautiful things about their bosses, especially when their bosses are able to hear them.
I can tell you from now that sooner or later I will be begging god on my knees, which is even more than kissing up. However, that day you will know that I am not being sincere whatever else I happen to say. Now I am being rational and I am telling you these blasphemous thoughts, that is that I don't find god that generous or loving.
----
more reasoning
Now that I realized about flat earth, I also realized that we are in a tank, from which we can't get out. It is like cylindrical fish tank.
Someone says there is Jesus, a loving Jesus, on the other side, waiting for us. But all this loving is not being shown to us right now. We are asked to be faithful and believe this story.
But who says that on the other side there will be a god who rewards faith, or even gullibility?
What if there is a god who values intelligence?
What if I managed to make both hypothetical gods happy?
Now, it seems that dying on the cross is not a requirement for going to heaven. So wouldn't it make sense to avoid that course of action? Also, just in case I am wrong about the whole thing...
Another thing. What if we are just an experiment in a lab, that seems huge to us, but in fact we're nothing but a fish tank in a lab, where they threw in some demons, some animals, humans and some hopes, such as resurrection, god, Jesus... and then sat and watched. This is chilling an hypothesis, but it cannot be ruled out and it seems quite possible.
In the meanwhile, my dad has spent his whole life to try and change the Italian political system for the better, while we're probably nothing but someone's experiment.
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