my journal 3

[Yamato]

Listen to this insightful video from start to end: this guy is an amazing researcher. He's really pointing out some things that do not add up:

title: SIX MILLION JEWS 1915-1938 HD

Amazing research, and it cannot be dismissed as revisionism. This is much more powerful than saying that gas chambers weren't technically possible.

Don't get me wrong, I am no revisionist, but this thing needs to be investigated. I would say that extermination camps of jews and other did in fact exist, but also that the propaganda side of "holocaust" was handled in advance by the zionists. This is what the video suggests.

The possibilities could be many, among which that Hitler (who wans't plotting with anyone) did in fact hate jews, but his work was encouraged and exaggerated by zionists with the purpose of establishing the state of israel, and that would explain why they've kept publishing articles talking about 6 million jews in danger of extermination for decades, and even spoke of "holocaust" years before it started.

In other words, the zionists (maybe) welcomed the holocaust, and maybe increased the number of deaths, and of course the defeated germans were unable to stand up and complain "no we only killed 3 millions...".

This reminds me, if this is the way it went, the propaganda that preceded and followed 911, which of course was all orchestrated by elements within the US government.

 

[Yamato]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Messerschmitt_Me_262

The Messerschmitt Me 262 Schwalbe (English: "Swallow") of Nazi Germany was the world's first operational jet-powered fighter aircraft.[5] Design work started before World War II began, but engine problems and top-level interference kept the aircraft from operational status with the Luftwaffe until mid-1944.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_World_War_II_(1944)#July_1944

Rudolph Hess, made a speech at the Messerschmitt factory just a few days before his last flight to Scotland:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rudolph_Hess#Flight_to_Scotland
http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Messerschmitt_AG

http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Messerschmitt_Me_163

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Messerschmitt_Me_262

...

 

[Yamato]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kidnap_of_General_Kreipe

 

[Yamato]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finnish_Air_Force#History

Von Rosen had painted his personal good luck charm on the Thulin Typ D aircraft. This charm – a blue swastika, the ancient symbol of the sun and good luck – was adopted as the insignia of the Finnish Air Force. The white circular background was created when the Finns tried to paint over the advertisement from the Thulin air academy.[5] The swastika was officially taken into use after an order by Mannerheim on 18 March 1918. The FAF changed the insignia after 1944, due to an Allied Control Commission decree[6] prohibiting the existence of Pro-Hitler and Fascism organizations. The swastika was removed due to the resemblance to the Nazi Swastika.[6]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winter_War

 

[Yamato]

Guys, I am now below one third of what I had 2 months ago, when I reached a record of 47k.

I wish I had known the future, and that I wasn't on my way to 80k but on my way to below 20k.

This is really hard on me.

All I have is my learning right now. My studying of German for example.

Capital and my hopes of leaving the office are at an all-time low for the year.

I can't believe for how long the markets have persecuted me, against all odds.

How on earth could I have expected that everything would have gone against my predictions for so long, despite all the money printing that's been going on?

All commodities have been falling for years and years, despite inflation.

Gold, silver, even copper.

Grains, natural gas...

Pretty much everything.

And GBL? Just the opposite way of where I wanted it to go. Now the yield, today, is at 1.14% return per year.

I can't even complain. The markets really went against my predictions. It is a wonder how I even ever managed to reach 47k starting with just 4k. and despite all my predictions being wrong.

Such are the markets, and such are futures.

I am starting to accept it.

...

Also, I have to remember the many times in this odyssey when I closed all my 10 diversified positions to chase the one position that wasn't showing me a profit. I did this several times: with copper, with GBL, to mention just two. Had I not done this, I would probably now be at about 30k.

So, it wasn't just about being diversified and wrong, but mostly about betting almost everything on one thing, and being wrong.

I was wrong and I wasn't diversified. Otherwise this wouldn't have been as bad.

And I remember precisely that when I did this, I knew that maybe I was making a mistake, but I was too bored to sit and watch. This last time, it happened with GBL.

But... what can I do? This is me and this is the markets. I have what I have. I have done what I've done. There is still some more time before I die to try and make this work.

I am very disappointed with myself. Very.

And now I almost feel as if I made it happen on purpose.

At 45k, I knew I could have just stopped investing and let the systems run and make a few thousands per month. But I wasn't happy with it, and I thought it would have been a boring life. I wanted more, I wanted to get to 80k, and make from the systems about 10k per month. That would have been right and satisfactory.

Instead here I am. Should I blame myself for not being content with 4k per month of profit, effortless?

I still don't know.

That memory is very clear and fresh in my mind. That feeling of boredom to come. I thought: what am I going to do with 4k per month? There's not much I can do...

By now, I would probably be at 80k, had I accepted it.

But I wanted it immediately.

I was at 40k already 2 years ago. Back then, once again, I said "I want more". And I went back down to 10k.

Then, again, about a year ago, I was at 45k, and once again, I said "I will now make much more", and once again I returned below 20k.

Then up again... to above 40k, then down again below 20k.

Then I clearly recall I went up again above 40k once more, by betting everything on copper, and then I diversified everything perfectly, in 10 different markets, but then once again, GBL showed me a loss, I sold everything, and bet everything on it.

But then GBL kept on rising, and yesterday it touched 148.5 or so, with yield at 1.14%.

So, after all, it is not self-sabotage. It is boredom that defeats me each time. Boredom in turn causes me to tamper, when everything is diversified and slowly growing -- because it's not even enough to me that my capital grows slowly. I want it to grow fast -- after a while I get used to it growing and it has to grow faster and faster or I'll tamper.

So, ok, basically, it is not self-sabotage in the intention, but it is self-sabotage in the consequences. I destroy my capital by wanting it to grow too fast. It would by like giving too much water to your plants.

It is awful, and I don't know if I'll ever change, because the feeling of boredom is hard to defeat.

I may see things clearly now, but boredom and the hope for more profits are a dangerous combination and they're stronger than any wise realization.

This perverse mechanism has been happening for so long that I don't know if it even makes any sense to write about this process on this journal any longer.

Why shouldn't it happen again, once I'll reach 45k again?

Why don't I stop gambling once I get to that level?

I know I do gamble to get to that level. But for some reason, I got lucky, or maybe I did something right. But, no matter the reason why I can manage to get to that level, something keeps me from going any further. So, given that 45k is good enough to just use my systems and make enough money to retire, then why don't I stop there?

Because I know that even then I'd have to wait years before retiring. And I feel this desperate urge to leave the office. Oh, damn.

I am really screwed. I see no way out.

The only way out would be if my parents both died and left me all their money, but they're already talking about giving it to charity. Maybe so that I don't plan on killing them.

Well, at the moment, all I can think of, is to keep studying German. And just keep on eating healthy and getting enough sleep.

I still have some capital. I'll see, if it ever reaches 45k again, if I have changed and can act wisely.

...

Yep, May 6th, 2014, those were the days:
http://www.trade2win.com/boards/trading-journals/140032-my-journal-3-post2325246.html:

Now I must do nothing, not even monitor, lest I tamper and destroy everything.

Remember how my mind works:

1) i monitor and enjoy profit
2) i rely on profit and a rising equity line to be happy
3) equity line stops rising and falls
4) i tamper to make it go up again
5) i lose
6) i increase the contracts on my losing positions
7) sometimes I get lucky and break even, other times I lose everything

It keeps happening, again and again, year after year... I remember specific instances since 2008 all the way to just 2 months ago

Now, at above 47k, it is definitely the time to stop tampering.

And to do so, I must stop monitoring my equity line and taking pleasure in seeing it rise. I must stop relying, emotionally, on a rising equity line.

Financially, I haven't relied on my trading capital, which is good. Emotionally, it's a very different story, and it screwed me again and again.

Also, from this point on, I mustn't tell anyone. Because it'd set me up to rely on it emotionally.

And then what did I do?

I lost a bit on GBL, tampered, added another contract, then another one, then closed all other positions... a total mess basically. And I had predicted it would happen. Still, I could not resist boredom.

I think this has just happened once too many. I think I cannot take this crap from myself, and, since I don't think that I'll grow up and solve this problem, this is the moment I am going to start going crazy, because my mind cannot figure out how it works. I cannot understand myself. I cannot accept myself. I cannot accept the two different selves that are in my mind. The wisdom of now vs. the madness of when I am bored. I officially cease to hope to figure myself out, because this is just too much. I am about to go crazy. This thing has already happened dozens of times.

 

[Yamato]

holy cow, look at the last 20 seconds of this clip:

I am taking a break from the journal, but this made it worth interrupting it. Hitler showing emotions. She cries, he slaps her with sympathy, then she cries more, and he goes back and slaps her again. This is a precious little clip, historically speaking.

 

[Yamato]

For some reason the markets have decided to give me yet another chance, and, as I opened my trading platform, I found GBl at 148.88, yield at 1.10%... all-time record high (and low, for the yield).

I just went short with everything I had, after closing all my other positions.

I am pretty positive that I will make a killing.

You have to be lucky, as i have been just now, to open the platform at the right time. Because to tell you the truth, I would have gone short, with everything I had, even at 148.80, 148.70, 148.60, 148.50, 148.40, 148.30... indeed this morning I had written myself a reminder to go short on GBL anywhere above 148.30.

So I would have gone short at 148.30, and now I'd be losing... several thousands dollars. But it went the other way: I opened it later, and found it much higher. So now I am set.

I will make a killing on this trade and then I will proceed to close all GBL contracts but one, and resuming the previous positions plus a long on JPY, which I've been desiring to resume for many weeks.

I can't wait to recover all my previous capital and finally stop trading for good, and let my systems take it from there. I won't make the May 5th mistake again (cfr.previous posts).

...

Nope, unbelievable. Despite being lucky and entering that high, I will end up breaking even probably, because just 2 hours from the close, the Bund is still very high in the sky, and I am actually down 1000 dollars.

It just touched an all-time low yield of 1.09%, by reaching a price of 148.99.

Well, you know what? This was a good trade. I did not know the future, right? It was a great opportunity not to be missed, even if I'll end up losing 1000 dollars.

Let us remind ourselves once more that a good trade is not a trade that makes money, but a trade where you don't bet the farm to make 1 dollar, but rather bet 1 dollar to get the farm. In other words, I lost a 1000 dollars, at the moment, but I was very likely to make 40000 dollars on this one, and probably will make them tomorrow. So a good trade is a (type of) trade that makes money in the long run and that doesn't make you bankrupt in the long run.

 

[Yamato]

amazing coverage of 911 on C-SPAN:
http://www.c-span.org/video/?320748-5/washington-journal-architects-engineers-911-truth

Very unexpected and unhoped-for. I can't explain why they allowed this show on 911. Something might be changing. Maybe those who made it happen aren't as powerful anymore.

At minute 11, great phone call summarizing top questions about 911, and another great phone call at minute 26.

At minute 32: stupid phone call but great reply by Richard Gage.

At minute 34: another great phone call, this time from an Iraq veteran.

 

[Yamato]

Wow, wow... I am in a fight to the death with GBL.

Today GBL reached a record high of 149.42 and the Bund Yield reached an all-time low of 1.059%, I am losing thousands but I am still on it, in a fight to the death that began when it was at 140, years ago.

I was wrong many times. This is my last fight. If I lose this one, I will have no capital left.

Already 3 days ago, before it reached today's levels, they were writing this:
http://www.nibc.com/media-relations/news/nibc-research-the-weakest-links-always-break-first.html

The Chart of the Week shows German 10-year Bund yields, annual consumer price (CPI) inflation rates and German recessions. German 10-year Bund yields declined to just above 1.1%, the lowest since at least 1815, according to Homer and Sylla in their book “a history of interest rates”.

This is an historical moment, and I am ok with blowing out my account on this one.

http://www.investing.com/rates-bonds/germany-10-year-bond-yield-streaming-chart


I am quite depressed but it could be worse. My predictions were wrong. I did not lose because I was right and played it in the wrong way. I was totally wrong.

...

Oh my god... it is nine pm and bund is about to close and it's higher than ever... now it is at 149.48... this is tragic. This is so tragic that I am laughing.

Yield at 1.05%

I was wrong again and again. I reached 47k in early May and in 3 months lost 40k thanks to my trading on GBL mainly and I am still on it. At 145 I thought it could not go any higher.

It cannot go any higher... last famous words. It is not at 149.48.

Causing me a loss, had I kept it non-stop, of 5k euros per contracts. Good thing I didn't keep it all this time, because I would have lost even more.

Now I am left with about 8k.

My dreams are all over and I am the one who destroyed them, by wanting too much and thinking that this and that future could not go any higher or any lower.

This time it is really all over.

There is no way i can make this money back on GBL, because i had opened too many contracts and tonight I am closing them at a record high. I don't have the margin to keep them open nor to open them again tomorrow morning.

And if it opens lower and i open them, then I am screwed again, because if it rises, it closes my contracts again... i am desperate.

So to speak.

I am going to sleep.

I pretty much blew out my account once more.

I will still hold those two or three GBL contracts I will be able to afford. Bye bye.

...

I'll keep you updated, don't worry.

What I can say now is this:
1) I will keep trying to make money with trading.
2) I do not think that I will ever learn how to deal with the markets. I don't seem to be able to learn profitable discretionary trading, and I don't seem to be able to allow my profitable automated trading to run without my tampering with it.

So:
1) I will keep going up and down, like most traders, who are unprofitable, as I've been doing for several years, always going up from 4k to 40k, and viceversa.
2) I won't kill myself. I'll just keep trying, because I can't help that either. I am not a quitter, but I am not a winner either. I am a persevering loser.

So, I'll still write here, from time to time, maybe about my research on history or movies, or about my trading.

Most likely in the near future I'll write less, due to being so frustrated with myself.

One last time let me stress this out: it is NOT out of self-sabotage that I went from 47k to 8k.

I really meant to go from 47k to 90k. I was eager to do that, to go in that direction. I was eager to go up, and I could not wait for it, and... that's how I lost everything, by being impatient.

So I did cause the problem, but it wasn't on purpose. It was not the famous subconscious self-sabotage everyone talks about.

It was really from trying to go higher that I went lower. It is not that, deep inside, i wanted to lose this money. Maybe I could not cut losses, maybe I was impatient, and certainly I did not diversify and i doubled up on losing trades. All those mistakes. But I did not lose this money on purpose. This explanation would simply be bull****.

Things can always get worse, so let's not throw it all away: we have what we have, in terms of resources and time to live. Let's make the best of it.

Let's learn from churchill, from how he reacted to the French defeat, and how he spoke to the house of commons on June 18th, 1940, when Hitler seemed unstoppable:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_was_their_finest_hour

We have this and that... we are disappointed... but we have this and that... this is good, we have this other good thing, we have this other valuable asset... awesome speech to hear when you're depressed. In fact, I traded like Hitler, my GBL trade was like Hitler's attack on Russia, and now that I blew out my army, and I am surrounded by the Russians in my bunker, I will not kill myself, but pretend I am England in June 1940, surrounded by the victorious German forces.

http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1940/jun/18/war-situation

...Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duty and so bear ourselves that if the British Commonwealth and Empire lasts for a thousand years men will still say, "This was their finest hour."

---

Another similarity I have with Hitler is this: just because you're super-organized and efficient, it doesn't mean you can assume you will win every battle.

Just because he did not make a bad move between 1933 and 1940, that didn't prevent him from being defeated when, after Dunkirk, he didn't attack the UK and instead went for Russia. That was the end for him.

The same applies to me. Just because I am super-organized and methodical, that doesn't mean I can assume I will make money in the markets, because the markets do not let me organize them the way I want to organized them. They will rise and fall when they want, regardless of my plans and expectations.

In the same way Hitler, after making Germany so efficient, forgot that it still wasn't invincible.

No matter how many things I did correctly, in order to get from 4k to 47k, as I did, that did not guarantee that everything was going to go my way from 47k to 90k, as I hoped to get. Indeed, I went from 47k to 8k.

Just because you're the best, or you're intelligent, that doesn't mean you will win, or at least that you will always win. And so this explains why, sooner or later, given my wrong assumptions, I always end up blowing out my account.

I've got to stop assuming that I am the best and that everything will eventually go my way.

 

[Yamato]

Great movie about how most people really are - prejudice, ganging up on others... stupid and evil.

https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angst_essen_Seele_auf

You can't rely on most people and expect them to have their own independent thought. And act right, and fairly. If they treat you nicely, it's because that's the trend. If they treat you badly, it's the same way.

Pretty pathetic. They move in herds. If you leave your office, you will notice, that either a couple say "goodbye" or all say goodbye, merely because people tend to act according to the majority.

In the same way, nazism took place in germany, and fascism in Italy. If everyone is doing something, it seems to them all right. Now everyone is against fascism and for democracy, but just for the same reason: because it is the trend.

So ultimately nazism didn't happen because of hitler but because of the stupidity of people and their tendency to move in herds. And their lack of critical independent thinking.

Yeah, people...

Look at these people in luxembourg in 1940, at minutes 2, 3 and 4, welcoming the invading nazis:

Now look at how, 5 years later, they also welcome the royals who had fled the nazis:

Yeah, maybe they're not exactly the same people, maybe those who had welcomed the nazis this time stayed home, but the funny thing is that even the same people wouldn't find a problem doing these two different and diametrically opposed things.

The same thing happened in Rome, when the Americans arrived, and people were greeting them in the streets, in the same way a few years before they were greeting Hitler and Mussolini.

People who didn't resist mussolini or at least emigrated from the country should have had the decency to stay at home when the americans arrived in rome.

But these are people. They go from one extreme to the other. That's why I prefer to stay away not just from crowds but from people altogether.

 

[Yamato]

http://anno.onb.ac.at/anno-suche/#searchMode=simple&resultMode=list&from=1

excellent austrian link, with an amazing orderly database of categorized newspapers, in German and other languages, that go back 500 years.

You don't just see the first page, but all the pages of the newspaper. This is really something.

 

[Yamato]

I watched, almost entirely, Chef (I left the theater 25 minutes before it ended). Pretty bad movie, and "easy to sit through but hardly memorable", as these guys agree:
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/chef_2014/reviews/?sort=rotten

Richard Corliss
TIME Magazine
Top Critic IconTop Critic
All these actors, and the audience too, deserved a better, tighter, more daring film. The movie meal that Favreau whips up is easy to sit through but hardly memorable.
Full Review Source: TIME Magazine
May 8, 2014

Rafer Guzman
Newsday
Top Critic IconTop Critic
The movie's problems aren't small: It moves slowly, meanders everywhere and never quite arrives at a destination.
Full Review Source: Newsday | Original Score: 2/4
May 15, 2014

Rotten Tomatoes critics rating is actually as high as 88%, but I am with the critics who vote "rotten". I don't care what the majority thinks. The movie could even be funny at times, but it's worthless. As most of these Jon Favreau's movies, except Swingers, which is his only good movie.

And i just checked. It was good because he wasn't directing it, but Doug Liman was:
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/celebrity/doug_liman/

 

[Yamato]

Democracy, as practised in Western Europe to-day, is the fore-runner of Marxism. In fact, the latter would not be conceivable without the former. Democracy is the breeding-ground in which the bacilli of the Marxist world pest can grow and spread.

http://mk.christogenea.org/_files/A...mpf english translation unexpurgated 1939.pdf

 

[Yamato]

http://www.theglobalist.com/the-woman-who-prevented-hitlers-suicide/

 

[Yamato]

Wow, this is really something, from GBL. It's like a message to that young travis of a couple of years ago who was saying on this journal: "oh come, on, short GBL is a sure trade, because GBL cannot possibly go higher than 146!".

There we go:



GBL above 150

and 10-year yield that touched a low of 1%:
http://www.investing.com/rates-bonds/germany-10-year-bond-yield-streaming-chart



Good job, travis, with your "can't go any higher" and "can't go any lower" predictions. You cocksucker.

 

[Yamato]

Great radio holocaust debate (Berg, a revisionist vs. Muehlenkamp, maisntream), 2-hour long:
http://kiwi6.com/file/usiu346d26

Very convincing Muehlenkamp. Maybe the holocaust didn't happen, or only 1 million died, but definitely the mainstream argument by Muehlenkamp is much more informed and convincing. All that Berg can go on and on in saying is that cyanide gas doesn't kill as fast as they argue, but this is not in contrast with any assertions by the mainstream version.

One question I would instead ask the people asserting the mainstream 6-million view, I would simply object "give me all their names or stop saying it's exactly 6 millions".

Yes, it is definitely true that there has been zionist propaganda mentioning an imminent "6-million jew victims holocaust" for decades before the holocaust, but then, most likely, it did happen.

Also, the nazis exterminated 200,000 disabled Germans, so it's not like they had any conscience problems or hesitation in this type of action.

They also exterminated millions of Russians and Slavs, and the Gypsies. So I think it did happen and it did happen with millions. There might be an influence of zionist propaganda in that 6 million figure, that makes me think that the zionists almost wanted it to happen.

Many holocaust deniers or "revisionists" subconsciously think that Hitler and the nazis weren't that bad, or could not have been that bad.

Well, all they need to do is study a little about how the nazis killed not only the disabled germans but even their own former party comrades who were seen as threats for whatever reason (cfr. Ernst Röhm).

The nazis were very violent and very bloody, no doubt about it. But this is also true of the Russians and... of all the famous dictatorships.

So, democracy is better, for everyone, including the would-be dictator. Dictators do not have a good life: hitler had 41 attempts on his life:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassination_attempts_on_Adolf_Hitler

Their people don't have a good life either. Their opponents and neighboring countries neither.

As my father often tells me, democracy is a bloodless way of changing the leader. This sums it up very well. It spares a lot of lives and destruction.

 

[Yamato]

View attachment Psychology - Psychological Analysis Of Hitler - February 1943.pdf

And to Strasser, who once took the liberty of saying that we was afraid Hitler was mistaken, he said:
"I cannot be mistaken. What I do and say is historical." (378)

http://www.iiit.ac.in/~bipin/files/Dawkins/Psychology - Psychological Analysis Of Hitler.pdf
http://www.iiit.ac.in/~bipin/files/Dawkins/

That's it, just like me after a few good trades. I get cocky and then lose it all.

Adolf does not smoke and never drinks alcohol. His great pleasure, when he can find time for it, is to go to the opera.
Museums are his hobby; he claims to know the museums in Berlin better than anyone els [sic]. His early association
with the building trade gave him a lasting interest in architecture, andit [sic] is said that the alterations made to the
Brown House in Munich originated from his own ideas. He is is unmarried, of course, and so far no one has discovered
any "amours caches"; although at one time there was a rumor that he had been secretly married and divorced. His
great failing, which is an obvious corollary to his intensity, is the lack of a sense of humor. But that is a fault shared by
the majority of Germans.

pg 107- Michael Fry- Hitler's Wonderland- 1934

Hitler appeals to nearly all classes, but he is particularly loved by the middle class ... he has restored the self-respect
of millions by fanning the flame of patriotism, long dormant in their hearts.... the middle class and a large section of the
working class talk of "our Fuehrer" with the reverence accorded by Catholics to the Pope. Even Hitler's enemies talk of
his with respect. Pick up a Communist paper to-day (there are still a number of them printed abroad and smuggled into
the country) and you will not dind [sic] any lewd remarks about Hitler. Any number of obscene accusations against
Goring, Frick, Roehm, and Goebbels, but nothing against Adolf Hitler. That is a remarkable fact that deserves to be put
on record.

pg. 108. Fry - Hitler's Wonderland.

[Page 61]

Dr. Ernst F. S. Hanfstaengl

In his article in Collier's, August 4, 1934 "My Leader" tells how he got to know and serve Hitler for whom he has
greatest admiration. Hanfstaengl after describing his own life and how he accidentally became interested to attend a
Hitler meeting tells of the typical beerhall gathering-"the audience was a nondescript crowd, men who were there out of
sheer desperation. I regretted coming. I would have been happier working on my book. (that book incidentally, never
has been finished)"
(Book on Ludwig II.)
..Then Drexler introduced Adolf Hitler. He didn't look very impressive standing there in repose. That is, until you
noticed his eyes. He had clear blue eyes and in them there was neither guile nor fear. There was honesty; there was
sincerity; there was a hint of scorn.

HEINZ A. HEINZ

Germany's Hitler
London, Hurst & Blackett, Ltd. 1934; pp. 288
Typical Pro-Nazi biography:

Former schoolmates from the Realschule Linz about A.H.:

"I met him," said Herr A. "in 1901, here in the Realschule. We were 32 boys all told, all from the same class of life.
There was no private school at Linz at that time.
Hitler didn't live in Linz, but just outside, at a place called Leonding. He ate his midday meal somewhere roundabouts,
and was generally off home in the afternoon, as soon as school was over. That's how it happened we didn't see so
very much of him, except during school hours, and playing Indians, when he was always on hand.
We all liked him, at desk and at play. He was no more hefty than the rest of us, but an enterprising little chap. He had
'guts'. He wasn't a hot-head but really more amenable than a good many. He exhibited two extremes of character
which are not often seen in unison, he was a quiet fanatic. The whole class acknowledged this boy as the leader.

p. 29
(Account of another schoolmate, Herr Y.)

"Once, ...... during his school days Hitler stayed for a little time with an old lady in Linz. This old lady herself told the
tale of how the boy was always buying candles, and she couldn't make out what it was he did always to be needing a
light at night. She surprised him on one occasion, and found him doubled up over maps, very busy doing something to
them with colored pencils. She asked: 'Why, Adolf, what on earth do you suppose you are doing?' and he looked up
and smiled and said: ' Studying maps.' p. 29

Hitler

Psychological Analysis & Reconstruction

[Transcription note: Bracketed [Page] links provide access to the individual images from which these transcriptions
were made] [Page 140: Title Page] [Page 141]

The world has come to know Adolph Hitler for his insatiable greed for power, his ruthlessness, cruelty and utter
lack-of feeling, his contempt for established institutions and his lack of moral restraints. In the course of relatively
few years he has contrived to usurp such tremendous power that a few veiled threats, accusations or insinuations
were sufficient to make the world tremble. In open defiance of treaties he occupied huge territories and conquered
millions of people without even firing a shot. When the world became tired of being frightened and concluded that
it was all a bluff, he initiated the most brutal and devastating war in history - a war which, for a time, threatened the
complete destruction of our civilization. Human life and human suffering seem to leave this individual completely
untouched as he plunges along the course he believes he was predestined to take.

Earlier in his career the world had watched him with amusement. Many people refused to take him seriously on
the grounds that "he could not possibly last." As one action after another met with amazing success and the
measure of the man became more obvious, this amusement was transformed into incredulousness. To most
people it seemed inconceivable that such things could actually happen in our modern civilization. Hitler, the leader
of these activities, became generally regarded as a madman, if not inhuman. Such a conclusion, concerning the
nature of our enemy, may be satisfactory from the point of view [Page 142] of the man in the street. It gives him a
feeling of satisfaction to pigeon-hole an incomprehensible individual in one category or another. Having classified
him in this way, he feels that the problem is completely solved. All we need to do is to eliminate the madman from
the scene of activities, replace him with a sane individual, and the world will again return to a normal and peaceful
state of affairs.

This naive view, however, is wholly inadequate for those who are delegated to conduct the war against Germany
or for those who will be delegated to deal with the situation when the war is over. They cannot content themselves
with simply regarding Hitler as a personal devil and condemning him to an Eternal Hell in order that the remainder
of the world may live in peace and quiet. They will realize that the madness of the part of wholly the actions of a
single individual but that a reciprocal relationship exists between the Fuehrer and the people and that the
madness of the one stimulates and flows into the other and vice versa. It was not only Hitler, the madman, who
created German madness, but German madness which created Hitler. Having created him as its spokesman and
leader, it has been carried along by his momentum, perhaps far beyond the point where it was originally prepared
to go. Nevertheless, it continues to follow his lead in spite of the fact that it must be obvious to all intelligent people
now that his path leads to inevitable destruction. [Page 143]

told u so
i been saying this for years
we cant just say he was a madman
that's ****ing superficial

...From a scientific point of view, therefore, we are forced to consider Hitler, the Fuehrer, not as a personal devil,
wicked as his actions and philosophy may be, but as the expression of a state of mind existing in millions of
people, not only in Germany but, to a smaller degree, in all civilized countries.

told u so
and the main feature of this common state of mind is... conformism
which is precisely what we see when all these dumb americans bought the 911 lie and supported the "war on terror" which was no better than hitler's war - actually worse because the US was already very rich and depraved and intent on raping poor nations, whereas hitler's germany was poor and intent on raping richer nations

The problem
of our study should be, then, not only whether Hitler is mad or not, but what influences in his development have
made him what he is.

If we scan the tremendous quantities of material and information which have been accumulated on Hitler, we find
little which is helpful in explaining why he is what he is. One can, of course, make general statements as many
authors have done and say, for example, that his five years in Vienna were so frustrating that he hated the whole
social order and is now taking his revenge for the injustices he suffered. Such explanations sound very plausible
at first glance but we would also want to know why, as a young man, he was unwilling to work when he had the
opportunity and what happened to transform the lazy Vienna beggar into the energetic politician who never
seemed to tire from rushing from one meeting to another and was able to work thousands of listeners into a state
of frenzy.

 

[Yamato]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWqf4wxam14

 

[Yamato]

utterly defeated - i really had a bad strategy - years wasted with buy and hold



had luck at start and brought 4k to 47k



then kept trading with same method and lost almost all profit

"this is the top/bottom" method, and "can't go any higher/lower" method

the final beating that brought me back on my ass was from the BUND that I estimated would go no further than 146 and instead went to almost 151 already

it's all over

gotta start all over again

years wasted

i should have stopped on may 5th, when I wrote that famous stop saying "i should stop now".

but 50k just didn't seem enough, so i kept going

so now instead of 50k i have 5k

lost 45k in 3 months

...

The only good thing I might have gotten from this experience is... experience. And i stress "might", because I've experienced similar situations before, and I didn't learn any of these, which I think I've learned this time:

1) the gods aren't with me, if they exist
2) i am not bound to succeed, or rather: I might very well keep failing until I die
3) a market can't be so oversold or overbought that you have a guarantee that it won't go any further

I "might" have learned these, or then again, a profitable trade might get me so cocky that i'll forget all of them again. It's happened before.

It's good enough that after this crap happening to me, just when I thought I was out of the office for good... it's good enough that I am not going to kill myself.

---

All this talking I've been doing here, should come to an end. I don't know if I'll stop writing, because it's good for my English and it's good to vent out my frustration, but I am not sure it's been very useful for my trading, maybe it's the contrary.

Yes, sure, I've kept a record of my failures, and we've verified that for 5 years I've repeated the same mistake over and over again and it's kept me from keeping any profits I've made: not using the stoploss. But besides understanding this, which could have been under.... yeah, what I am saying that maybe writing so much has kept me... or... it has slowed down my grasping of this concept even. So what is a trading journal for? To understand that you're not using the stoploss for 5 years and that this makes you unprofitable? It doesn't take 9 thousand posts to understand this. So, trading-wise a journal in my opinion is pretty much useless.

Instead I think a journal is good for practicing your English, for posting a record of your research, so you can later go back and retrieve it, and all that. So this journal has been a useful thing for sure. Also because I've gotten a good input and ideas from the readers.

I'll probably keep writing, but in my opinion all that could be learned has been learned. I mean, yeah, I don't use the stoploss, and I have delusions of grandeur, I am not balanced enough for discretionary trading. I knew this from the start maybe.

So, if I'll keep writing, is just to discuss Hitler and company, and on the stupidity of humans in general, among which at this point I should... definitely include myself.

 

[Yamato]

The Gentleman's Magazin, March 1793

http://anno.onb.ac.at/cgi-content/anno-plus?aid=gen&datum=1793&page=245&size=45



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louis_XVI_of_France
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simon_Fraser,_11th_Lord_Lovat

...Shortly before the execution, a scaffold for spectators viewing the beheading had collapsed and left 20 dead, much to his amusement. This became the origin of the saying "laughing your head off".[citation needed] Just before submitting his head to the block he repeated the line from Horace: Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori.[citation needed] The famous etching by William Hogarth shows Lovat awaiting execution in The Tower, counting with his fingers the various Clans that he had brought to his cause and battle to support the Stuart claim to the throne.

Simon Fraser's trial:
ÖNB-ANNO - The Gentleman's Magazin - March 1747