my journal 3

[Yamato]

I found these great noodles, the best ramen noodles i ever tried (of the cheap ones, as they only cost less than 2 euros):
http://shop.momoya.eu/oyakata-ramen-miso.html?___store=en&___from_store=et

"Ajinomoto Oyakata Ramen Noodles (Miso) 100 g"

I bought them at that store where I buy my seeds, very high quality store.

Today, near the hospital, I found a sushi place, which was terrible.

I didn't know the asians (they were not japanese either) could be so bad at doing this sushi thing. I asked for hot tea, and they were serving it in a... plastic cup which was melting before our very eyes. I told them to forget about it, that I'd buy a beer instead, just to repay them for their tea.

 

[Yamato]

http://www.aurorahealthcare.org/services/hyperbaric/faq.asp

4.Visual Changes (blurring, worsening of near-sightedness [myopia], temporary improvement in far-sightedness [presbyopia]). After 20 or more treatments, especially for those over 40 years old, some patients may experience a change in vision. This is usually temporary and in the majority of patients, vision returns to its pre-treatment level about six weeks after the cessation of therapy. It is not advisable to get a new prescription for glasses or contacts until at least eight weeks after ending hyperbaric oxygen therapy.

Yeah, I noticed an improvement. Hopefully it's not temporary.

http://www.pslmc.com/conditions_we_treat/hyperbaric_medicine/understanding-hyperbaric-therapy.htm

Call Your Doctor
After you leave the hospital, contact your doctor if any of the following occurs:

Discomfort or pain in your sinuses or ears
Onset of seizures
Vision problems
Cough, shortness of breath, or chest pain

Yeah, I am feeling some chest pain, but I am not going to call my doctor, because he knows nothing about this therapy and these guys at HBOT actually told me to breathe more deeply. Which is why and since when I have some chest pain. But not too bad.

I won't die from this HBOT stuff. I only have 2 more sessions to go.

 

[Yamato]

I closed one ZC contract, so now, for tonight, I have no margin concerns.

We'll see if I die first, or if gold and silver bottom before then.

Now it's time to go to sleep and be ready for tomorrow's 19th and 20th HBOT sessions.

 

[Yamato]

Ok, up again, still alive. Slept 9 hours.

Going in a bit to my 19th and 20th HBOT sessions. Then my therapy will be over.

I don't know -- I am still having doubts about the injections, whether I should have gotten them or not.

Today I will go to see another movie, and then I'll be done with movies as well.

Among the good side effects of HBOT I didn't list the latest one I just may have discovered. I had a problem, after 2 weeks of swimming with one nail, which was weaker than the others, maybe due to breaking a piece of it years ago, in 2001, if I remember correctly. Well, this nail, at the end of it had a little bump, and now it's gone and it's smooth like the others. I think HBOT may have fixed this, too. It fixed everything basically, except my hearing.

In the meanwhile, they liquidated 1 gold contract, of the small ones I had.

Now margin is definitely fine. But I'll buy this gold contract back as soon as I come back today.

...

Considering, I've been treated fairly by events. I was wrong about gold and silver and corn and JPY and GBL and I haven't even been wiped out yet. I thought they'd bounce back 6 months ago, and still they haven't bounced back. They've all gone against me at once, and postponed their reversal by 6 months. And I still haven't been wiped out, so I can't complain. I was totally wrong, I was wrong for six months, and I still have some capital. So I can't complain.

Regarding health, it's the same situation. I thought I was special, blessed by the gods, that I'd never get sick and wouldn't have to worry about my health, like other people. I was wrong again: a simple cough was enough to make me lose my hearing. Some of it came back, some of it did not. Considering all this, I still have been lucky. I could have been hit by something worse, considering I am not blessed by the gods, but like everyone else.

But in fact this knowledge of life being random is temporary, and soon I will deceive myself again -- I know myself, and probably every human, too. Or most of them.

We have this tendency to think we're special. This irresistible urge to give/see some sense/meaning to our lives. So what'll happen is this: I'll forget about this illness, something will go my way in the stock markets, and again I will think... "somebody up there likes me", like the title of that movie with paul newman:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somebody_Up_There_Likes_Me_(1956_film)

While the reality is that we're all meaningless and our life is the consequence of random events. But I won't be able to bear this knowledge, and soon I will forget it and replace it with a nicer plot, like you can find in a movie.

 

[Yamato]

heavy rain in rome

For my last day in the hyperbaric chamber god has organized heavy rain here in Rome:
http://roma.corriere.it/foto-galler...ua-07b4cae2-8a54-11e3-aecc-b2fa07970b97.shtml



He's just never happy with all the problems he's already given me.

He even flooded the subway station nearest to me, and they had to close it:



I was lucky that God this morning allowed me to find a cab, because they were all gone and I would have otherwise missed my HBOT session. Thank you, god, for allowing to find a taxi this morning.

God today is making GBL rise further, and he's made NG lose more ground, and soon it may be time to buy NG again.

Gold and Silver are still low, very low, and I don't know what else god has in mind for them. For now I won't buy anything else.

In a few hours I have my last HBOT session and probably after it, I will go to a movie, provided that god makes my friend come on time.

 

[Yamato]

Back from my 20th and last HBOT session.

I am done with all therapy.

Regarding the trades, I can't buy anything today, because I don't have enough margin. NG is looking better and better. Gold and silver disappointing as usual. So is Corn.

I won't have any sources of frustration for a few days. Hearing not back to normal yet, I am starting to lose hope and keep getting used to hearing less.

Hopefully the damage done by the injection will be temporary, as one of the doctors said to me.

Nothing much to say otherwise. I was supposed to go to the movies with that friend (only friend I have) but he cancelled, he says "due to the bad weather". I don't buy it. I think he didn't want to come out of laziness or not liking me.

At any rate, speaking of disliking, today I met that bitch again, the patient with the HBOT session after mine, and I succeeded in not looking at her ugly face who always gives me dirty looks.

Hopefully there will be a fire in the hyperbaric chamber and I won't see her no more.

 

[Yamato]

I talked to my aunt a few hours ago. Good news from the island. The blond bitch maid who was taking care, part-time, of our old beloved maid is gone. Now there's a new maid from the Philippines, who's sleeping there and staying there full time. Probably she's more respectful to the relatives than the blond witch/bitch was.

As I said before, if I recover all of my hearing, I have to follow through with that pledge of going to visit the old maid every weekend.

If I don't recover all of my hearing, which will most likely be the case, then I still will go, but not as often.

Either way, it is essential that I don't have to meet a bitch every time I go there. And the bitch is gone now. No more bitches to meet at HBOT sessions and no more bitches to meet at the old maid's house.

 

[Yamato]

http://oscar.go.com/nominees

I am watching these two: "Her" and "12 Years a Slave"

http://www.vodu.ch/file/6f7e9a4639b...a0d77a4c9377e&confirm=Continue+to+Play+Movie#

http://www.vodu.ch/file/b0ff6835e31...144c176383161&confirm=Continue+to+Play+Movie#

 

[Yamato]

Ok, both movies were pretty bad.

Damn, my futures are sucking really badly. Gold and silver and corn still where I bought them 6 months ago or lower. So is CL and JPY.

Damn, do I wish I had closed all positions at 45k and let my systems trade and be at 80k now.

Damn me!

Instead of going to 100k my positions took me to half as much as I had, and my systems instead of making money slowly took that capital all the way to 80k.

Damn, damn, damn.

Why is god so angry with me? Why is god torturing me like this?

Or does god not exist maybe, as I've thought on and off throughout my life (but never with absolute certainty)?

...

Oh, gosh...!

I am depressed depressed depressed. I have lost my hearing, I have lost my capital. Or rather: I have lost some of my capital, I have lost some of my hearing... and I don't see a time when I will recover either of them!!!

Sad, sad, sad.

And to think that just a few months ago I had both of them and could have preserved both of them!!!

!!! Attention though, because on the other hand, this is not suicide of my hearing nor capital, because it wasn't a given that by holding gold and silver I would have ended up where I did, and I did not know until now that by coughing I could lose my hearing.

On the other hand, again, playing it safely would have given me more money now. I would have traded my systems, which was the safest thing to do, and I would have gotten rid of my cough, which was the safest thing to do. I played tough, fearless... and here I am: less capital and less hearing.

On the other hand, again, this wasn't like stepping into a fight. Neither of them was. I had made money by doing discretionary trading before, plenty of it, so my hope was justified. And I had had good health by ignoring my coughing.

So let's not fixate so much on mistakes I made, thinking that by being smarter I could have avoided them. I could not have avoided them without knowing the future. I am very prudent and play it safe, more than average, so it is not the case that I was reckless.

Let's just forget about these two tragedies. I have the capital I have, I have the hearing I have. Let's focus on the future and how to best spend whatever I am left with.

 

[Yamato]

After watching a couple of interviews, and especially this one...

...I am convinced that knox and sollecito were framed and are actually innocent.

 

[Yamato]

Yeah, I woke up again and I am still alive.

Today for the first time in weeks, no therapy to go to.

My lungs are safe and not hurting anymore.

Now, for everyone, some precious recommendations on coughing.

Coughing is dangerous and it can make you lose your hearing.

As soon as you have cough, get rid of it immediately, with the following remedies I found to be working:

1) put a pot of water, heat it to almost boiling, put it on the table and breathe the vapor, use a towel to breathe even more vapor, but it may not even be necessary

2) drink hot/warm liquids

3) melt honey in hot milk

4) I don't know if this works, I've tried it (but when I had no cough), but i think it does (suggested by others, on the web and in person), in order of decreasing efficacy:

a) drink hot water, one squeezed lemon, honey
b) drink warm red wine with 2 spoons of sugar (suggested by a taxi driver yesterday)
c) drink hot milk mixed with cognac

http://www.livestrong.com/article/2...alth-benefits-of-red-wine-for-clearing-mucus/

Flavonoids, or antioxidant-like plant substances, in red wine may reduce mucus and phlegm associated with several conditions. Red wine contains an abundance of the flavonoid resveratrol, which is produced by the reaction of plants to stress. Flavonoids are found mostly in fruits such as grapes -- from which red wine is derived -- apples and pears. The Linus Pauling Institute reports that in addition to their antioxidant properties, the flavonoids in red wine act as antiviral and anti-inflammatory agents, which suggests they may help fight some mucus-producing illnesses.

http://www.livestrong.com/article/150703-home-remedies-for-chest-congestion-cough/

Great link on types of cough and remedies:
http://www.parents.com/health/cough/cough/


SUMMARY

In summary, these are the main concepts:
1) drink hot liquids
2) breathe hot vapor
3) add honey in hot liquids
4) drink hot red wine or hot cognac

I am pretty sure within just 24 hours your cough will be gone. It's senseless to keep it, the way I have kept it for weeks, and risk what has happened to me. I wish I had known this earlier.

 

[Yamato]

Now I am fed up with waiting for gold and silver to rise (that doesn't mean I will close my positions) and I am fed up with complaining about waiting and about health.

I may stop complaining. If it happens, it will be new for this journal.

Tiber pretty high here in rome:



I am always hoping that something will happen and go wrong, but nothing ever happens. They always scare us / excite me with the idea that we might be flooded, but it never happens.

Now i'll go and read some stuff on silverdoctors and king world news, who've been saying for years that there is going to be an imminent rise in gold and silver.

Silver Doctors offers us more on German gold denied by Jim Willie (Jan 28 podcast):
http://www.silverdoctors.com/sd-podcast/

King World News offers us an interview with Nigel Farage:
http://kingworldnews.com/kingworldnews/Broadcast/Entries/2014/1/30_MEP_Nigel_Farage.html

 

[Yamato]

Ok, so I went to see another movie with my friend and one of his friends.

We saw American Hustle, not too bad, but commercial. Besides, they make it seem like it's a true story but that's impossible, so I don't like this kind of cheating the viewers.

Actually I missed the part where they say that it's only partly true:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Hustle#Historical_authenticity

American Hustle makes no great attempt at directly documenting the Abscam storyline: the names are changed, and the film begins with the unusual on-screen message, "Some of this actually happened".[7] Major differences from reality include...

I'm still hearing this tinnitus, since the injection, which was supposed to be temporary. It's giving me some restlessness, because if I am sitting in a quiet room, I hear this thing, this noise, like a refrigerator or like a small engine underwater, and it makes me restless or drives me crazy, whichever I prefer. If I do something, then I forget about it, so that's how it makes me restless: if I do nothing, I go crazy.

Pretty funny, huh. Because some privileged bitches at the HBOT place, they could just get away with not getting injected, given their medical connections. Me, given that my father wouldn't use all his power, I was left with no connections and had to trust these doctors, to whom I was a regular unknown nobody. So they injected me or I could just leave, but also without getting any HBOT sessions, which to me were so precious that I also accepted to be injected.

I'll never forget that these parents of mine left me all alone and actually told me to go to work when instead I wanted to get treated.

They left me all alone before, and each time their attitude was: if you're not crippled enough to be unable to go to work, then you should go to work.

Unless you collapse on your way to work, then you're just making up excuses to them.

Their mottos in life are:
1) sacrifice
2) save money
3) don't have fun, fun is a sin
4) fatigue
5) be serious
6) help others
7) ignore your own needs

...

Regarding the movie, Christian Bale is an excellent actor but, mostly, he acts in semi-commercial movies that are not as good as people think they are. The same applies to Bradley Cooper. They tend to be overrated on rotten tomatoes. Time is against them and their rating will go down in time, I think.

This movie now has 93%. There's no way it deserves this rating:
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/american_hustle/

...

Regarding my hearing and my trading and my standing in general, I can say that it really sucks and that it's much worse than let's say six months ago.

But what can I do? I can't kill myself. I could, but I assessed that I won't do it yet.

So my only option, of the options I like, is to stay alive and wait and see. See if I will be doing better, or see what life has in store for me.

For sure, after this latest medical experience, I will be a bit less patient and a bit more prone to getting pissed off. For example, if my former roommate, that dick, asks me to go on a coffee break with him, given that I never had any pleasure from it, I am now much less likely to say yes. I am now even less tolerant of idiots who enjoy my company. He's an idiot, he enjoys my company, but unfortunately for him I now care a little bit less about others. Especially others who bother me without realizing it. I have less resources to spend pleasing people who bother me, although they don't do it on purpose.

 

[Yamato]

The World's End (2013)

Hmm, 15 minutes into it... and this movie in my opinion is not good.

I am checking out a few movies today. From this/these list(s):
http://sleepyskunk.tumblr.com/post/70544979204/deconstructing-the-2013-movie-trailer-mashup
http://sleepyskunk.tumblr.com/post/68954232025/list-of-movies-used-in-my-2013-movie-trailer-mashup

I watch this 2013 trailer mashup and then I look up the movies (on the list, second link) that might interest me:

Then I go and watch them on www.watchfreemovies.ch and if they're not good, I move on to the next movie.

Checking out this one right now:
Filth (2013)

... nope, this one lasted only 9 minutes. Next one...

Only God Forgives (2013)

This will probably last longer as far as my patience in watching it, because it stars Ryan Gosling, who's often in excellent movies, such as Blue Valentine, Stay, The Believer.

... 32 minutes into it, I can say this is crap. First mistake I can remember by Ryan Gosling, of this entity.

Moving on to Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (2013)

Good one. I can watch the whole thing.

 

[barjon]

...............But what can I do? I can't kill myself. I could, but I assessed that I won't do it yet...............

Phew!! That's a relief. What would we do do without sharing your ups and downs.

Come on, Travis, dust yourself down enjoy the good things in life.

 

[Yamato]

Come on, this, from the initial advice that it was, is slowly turning into harassment. Even if you're an administrator, please I beg you to let me write whatever I want to write, without nagging me or laughing at the content I write (with those smileys), that you're quoting out of context. I feel disrespected.

 

[barjon]

Come on, this, from the initial advice that it was, is slowly turning into harassment. Even if you're an administrator, please I beg you to let me write whatever I want to write, without nagging me or laughing at the content I write (with those smileys), that you're quoting out of context. I feel disrespected.

Sorry, Travis - removed the smilies and no intention to harass.

 

[Yamato]

Yeah, I know you're a wise and patient person, but some others could have misinterpreted the whole thing and taken it as a signal to gang up on me, as they enjoyed doing in the past. Thanks for removing the smileys and understanding my susceptibility.

 

[Yamato]

Dallas Buyers Club

It is excellent. I finally stumbled upon a masterpiece. I can also relate to it, given the medical experiences I've had.

In fact, this is a movie about patients curing themselves, not trusting doctors... which is what I've been doing, as much as possible.

Unfortunately, by a rule of thumb, I decided to trust them with the eardrum steroid injections, which might have been a mistake. Good thing I don't have aids, because unlike the protagonist of the movie, I would not have what it takes to fight the medical system and cure myself at the same time.

The movie is also against the FDA and big pharma.

 

[Yamato]

Still alive.

First day back at work.

I was treated to my liking. They told me how much they missed me, how fast I work and how they fell behind without me.

I told them a summary of my 3 weeks without them, with the HBOT sessions and the eardrum injections.

Back home now, and been back for over an hour, as soon as I arrived, I checked out gold and barely managed to get back into my 2 contracts closed last week, before gold took off and went from 1250 to 1260.

I hope this is finally the time it goes up to the sky and doesn't look back.

Needless to say, being so lucky that all my positions turned out to be correlated, also JPY and ZC and SI took off.

Other than that, I just miss not being in Natural Gas. I have everything else.

Yeah, also AUD. I would have liked to get into AUD at this point. But I don't have the margin for it.

...

Prospective Plantings will be on March 31st, 2014. Let's not forget it this time around, like we did last year, and lost thousands because of it:
http://usda.gov/wps/portal/usda/usd...S&printable=true&edeployment_action=changenav

I need to close my ZC before March 31st, if it's doing well. If it's doing poorly, I need to keep it open.

By now I was expecting gold to be at 2000, and silver to be at 40. Corn I would have imagined 600.

Instead everything is lower than I bought it. But maybe today is the day, finally the day when they all reverse and I start making all my initial capital back and more. Maybe today, after waiting for 6 months, is the end of my ordeal.