my journal 3

[Yamato]

Ok, waiting a few more minutes before restarting the systems.

I now have a sore throat. I wonder what can cure it. I learned to cure cough but now I have a sore throat.

I hope it doesn't cause me to lose my eyesight.

http://www.webmd.com/cold-and-flu/tc/sore-throat-home-treatment

Gargle with warm salt water to help reduce swelling and relieve discomfort:
Gargle at least once each hour with 1 tsp (5 g) of salt dissolved in 8 fl oz (240 mL) of warm water.
If you have postnasal drip, gargle often to prevent more throat irritation.
Prevent dehydration. Fluids may help thin secretions and soothe an irritated throat. Hot fluids, such as tea or soup, may help decrease throat irritation...

Wow, saltwater gargle. I had thought about it and done it even before reading it. Awesome. And drinking hot fluids, just the same as with cough. Very very satisfied with myself.

...Use a vaporizer or humidifier in your bedroom.
Warm or cool mist may help you feel more comfortable by soothing the swollen air passages. It may also relieve hoarseness. But don't let your room become uncomfortably cold or very damp.
Use a shallow pan of water to provide moisture in the air through evaporation if you don't have a humidifier. Place the pan in a safe location where no one will trip on it or fall into it...

Yep, done this, too.

There's more at the link. Have to go to bed now.

It's so similar to cough though.

 

[Yamato]

Ok, back. Still alive. Tinnitus still there.

Getting used to it though. Also because it's not that loud. Not yet.

Letta, that awful human being, is no longer our prime minister, or rather, he has resigned (still prime minister till a new government swears in), finally. He started his premiership by engineering or at least okaying and benefiting from a false flag attack at the headquarters of the government. More about it here:
http://essential-intelligence-network.blogspot.it/2013/05/has-gladio-struck-again-in-italy.html

Yep, this ugly mother ****er:

Letta, dude, your treacherous methods didn't pay off. You only lasted 10 months. First Bilderberg prime minister we ever had in Italy after Andreotti - this Letta guy is even worse than Berlusconi, who is merely a thief. Letta is actually willing to get along with mass murderers in order to be in power.

Trading positions doing a lot better. Capital now above 33k.

The only mistake I could be doing right now is trying to add more positions, such as what I was thinking about this morning: a long on AUD, CAD, HG, ZW, or a short on NQ, which really tempted me this morning. Too late now for the longs and the short is always too risky except on the BUND and other interest rates futures -- because there's no bottom, so your losses could run forever, whereas on the other futures, there is always a bottom and if you're close to it, you should definitely go long. But there wasn't enough capital when I spotted these long opportunies. Maybe only ZW, where I have a regret, could have been done, by switching one contract from ZC to ZW. That's all I really missed. But now let's stay put and keep what we've got.

I should be happy that I am back in all of my original positions.

...

Another mistake I should now watch out for is that, by being bored and monitoring my positions too often, I might be tempted to close the very profitable ones. I must resist that temptation because I don't know what will rise and what won't rise.

It would be different if I were not at 33k but at 100k. Right now I have everything to lose from closing any of my positions.

 

[Yamato]

Ok, this was an amazing week. I've ended the previous week at about 23k or even less, and now I am at 34k.

About 50% return in one week.

I've never had such a return just doing nothing.

Just sitting on my positions. Yeah, I did open a very profitable NG trade. And I regret not opening a ZW contract after closing a ZC contract. That was clearly the trade to make, given their ratio and correlation.

Damn.

Anyway, let's enjoy this moment. I am almost back at 45k, which is the highest capital I've ever had.

Let's not blow it now.

Another peculiar thing of this week is that there were no overnight trades started today (from the systems I mean). It's the first time it has happened since when I started trading these (120) systems.

Not one overnight trade. Given that my systems, in overnight, are contrarians and only when the markets fall, this clearly means that all markets are going up, and that's indeed the case. Precious metals, currencies (to the dollar), energies, agriculturals, stock indexes... what have you: all futures went up today.

Well, yeah, financials (interest rate futures) didn't go up, but I have systems that only trade them overnight in a contrarian sense when they're really oversold, and this wasn't the case. So, no overnight trades.

Going to bed now. I've already brushed my teeth.

Regarding my vegan diet, I found the seeds I really need and discarded those I don't need: sour (or bitter) almonds, brazil nuts, sesame seeds and sunflower seeds.

These are the most powerful and useful seeds. I've instead discarded others seeds which I was tired of eating and buying (I will now have to eat 3 times as much of sunflower and sesame seeds): pistachios, walnuts, hemp, pumpkin, and flax seeds.

Now I am eating and buying the cheaper and better ones: 4 types of seeds instead of 9.

In other words, these 4 types of seeds contain the same nutrients as the other discarded 5 types, except a larger quantity, plus other nutrients. So definitely forget about buying these expensive useless 5 types of seeds.

I've got an excel file with all this precious data. I can send it to you privately if you want it. Or post it if you ask me.

Next week could easily end above 40k.

In case it does, I will start trading my systems again.

Then, the week after next week, could end above 50k.

Then, the one after it, could end above 60k.

I should not add any positions.

Then I would call up my friend, who running the server with my systems, and we would plan our trip to Amsterdam, to get drugged, with those space cakes and similar -- they also cure tumors.

...

Damn idiot. I just double-checked.

The reason there are no overnight trades tonight, is this:

Monday, February 17, 2014 President's Day

Just as my holiday excel sheet says, there are no trades because they don't open trades they can't close on Monday. So all my theories are not right, as it's nearly impossible that out of all those systems there isn't one system that goes overnight.

So I'll have to roll everything over today, instead of waiting for next week, which is when I initially thought was President's Day.

 

[Yamato]

I am back. Still alive, still with the tinnitus.

I have updated the file with all the trades from my systems -- every time it makes me suffer to see how much money I would have made, had I simply kept trading them, once I had reached a capital of 45k. But I wanted to make more, I thought the rise of gold and silver was imminent, as king world news has kept saying (for years). I thought that with the systems I would have made from 45k to let's say... 60k, in a period of 4 months (which is the only time range that I am concerned about). And with my position trades, I thought I could make from 45k to 100k in the same period. So I disabled the systems. Instead what happened is that in the next 4 months my position trades took me from 45k to 20k, while my systems would have taken me from 45k to 80k. But, dude: I did not know the future.

So, as I said, I updated the file with my systems, saw the performances of all systems (very consistent), and I've decided to enable a few systems, while I have the capital available.

I have enabled the systems with the highest profitability (in terms of sharpe ratio, my sharpe ratio, which is the same but better and simpler) and with the lower average absolute deviation.

That way I should have a lot of wins and very small losses. That is not the outcome of my recently created automated money management, but it's what I need now.

I have endured months and months of drawdown. Now I believe we're coming out of it, and my positions will pay off. I believe that gold, silver, natural gas, oil, corn, jpy will all keep rising as they've been doing this past week, and that GBL will keep falling, as it's already started to do.

 

[Yamato]

I am watching lots of movies. Now I'm watching Saving Mr. Banks (2013).

I think it's good, 'cause Emma Thompson is in it. I'd do her.

Anyway, I am quite excited, because I've re-enabled my systems, just a few of them, just the best ones, but there'll be some action next week.

The risk is that I'll add positions now that I've got spare capital, so I figured if I keep my extra capital busy by trading the systems, then I won't feel as restless. Because what I've got right now, as far as positions, it's absolutely perfect and I shouldn't touch them.

I've also resolved to go back to that swimming pool I was going to last year, exactly a year ago. That'll keep me busy as well. First I want to reach 40k, and then I'll resume going back to the swimming pool.

Oh, the movie has Paul Giamatti as well. Definitely promising.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2140373/

...

Boring, I don't care if it is a true story. The movie is extremely boring.

 

[Yamato]

Here's what I want from the markets: 60k.

I want 60k to be back into shape, after my health problems and my family grief. That's what I need to be in a good mood again.

If the markets deliver me 60k, I will be in a good mood again.

Considering that my positions deliver me about 3 times what silver gives me, if Silver goes to 25, then I will be at 60k.

That's pretty easy to achieve.

Then, when that happens, I will enable my systems again, about 30 of them.

That will mean that I'll make about 2k per week from them alone.

Awesome.

I am very close to being in a good mood. Maybe as early as the end of next week.

 

[Yamato]

I just defeated my cough and sore throat again. It hit me again during the night.

The usual remedies, but this time I had to do it for longer:

1) water vapor from a hot pot, almost boiling, with an inverted t-shirt to funnel it better from the pot.

2) hot liquids:
a) milk and honey
b) hot water, honey and 1 squeezed lemon
c) red wine

It worked again. I don't know which one in particular did it, or if all of them, but it worked. I'll study it better in the future. I am not going to have cough again.

I have had chronic cough ever since my head surgery in 2002. Mother ****ing Italian doctors.

 

[Yamato]

good video on gold:

 

[Yamato]

Hey guys. Still alive.

Tinnitus still there, but great news from my positions: capital now at 37k. I have roughly doubled compared to just 2 weeks ago. Excellent.

I can already see myself getting above the previous high of 45k.

Pretty soon I will resume trading all my systems, and will make about 1k per week, which is already higher than my salary.

I am still hearing my tinnitus, but if I go above 60k, I am willing to forget about it. And make peace with god. For giving it to me.

 

[Yamato]

mother ****ing italian doctors who gave me this tinnitus with their eardrum injections... if it doesn't go away I won't even go back for my hearing tests.

Screw them

This tinnitus, as expected (it's all over the web), is making me restless.

It's like hearing a mother ****ing tv noise (when the programs are ended) in my ear, all the time

Damn, damn... damn me for getting it. I was writing about it, whether to get the injection or not, just a few weeks ago. And then I decided to get it.

Damn me. Damn the Italian doctors.

I hope at least that god gives me some money from the markets, after giving me this tinnitus

lllol

lol

I could very well pretend it's the fan from my laptop

...except it's a bit louder, lol

damn

I still have the hope that it is temporary like some people write on the web, or some people told me in person, and like that doctor said, "temporary", "transitorio" in Italian, that's what he said. LOL, mother ****er.

... Lol, mother ****er.

...close your eyes and think of me
and soon I will be there
... even your darkest night...

...you just call out my name...
...I'll come running...
... to see you again...

Yo, james taylor, I'm calling out your name, come right now to rescue me.

... Oh, look, he didn't write it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/You've_Got_a_Friend

"You've Got a Friend" is a song from 1971, written by Carole King...

I should be calling her name.

Yeah, Carole, I'd like to hear you knocking on my door, and bring some money for me.

 

[Yamato]

But this is better:

This guy is Italian, he could come rescue me any time.

My mood is rising, as my equity curve is rising. It's irresistible, whether I'll keep my tinnitus or not. I feel like singing, I feel like dancing, I feel like... celebrating.



Let's eat some broccoli.

Right now I am at 38k. Exactly where I was exactly a year ago. I am back!

Another 22k and I'm gonna forgive god for the tinnitus he gave me. As I said before, I am going to forgive god if and once I reach 60k of capital.

 

[Yamato]

Damn, I did it. I went short on NQ.

Now I need to pray for NQ to fall.

Already losing 200 dollars.

After 8 straight days up, I couldn't resist going short on it.



Today I am frustrated about some trivial matter that happened at work. But this trade came before that frustration. I guess I can blame that trade on the tinnitus, which makes me restless.

 

[Yamato]

Tinnitus or not, today I am fixating on this guy who didn't say hi to me in the hallway. I am thinking almost non-stop about it. It's terrible. It doesn't make much sense. I did absolutely nothing wrong, but I am fixating about it. I feel like he snubbed me. Yep.

I feel so bad about it.

I shouldn't focus on it. At all. I know it. And yet I can't help it. I am even scratching my nose about it.

You know, I am not zen-like, like Letta says about himself. I am frustrated, I think abou these trivial details, and while I think about them, I start scratching my head or my nose.

I hope I'll make lots of money, quit my job, move to the island, do a lot of swimming, so all this scratching won't happen. It never happens while I'm on vacation.

 

[Yamato]

Back.

Capital at 37k.

Still obsessing about that guy.

I guess that despite the tinnitus I am getting back to my own normal self, obsessing about trivial matters.

I don't like it.

I had hoped that after this experience, after the family grief, I'd come back a more mature person, a person who doesn't bother and waste time with these trivial matters: even if this guy told me "**** you" or something worse, it would be his problem and not mine.

What the hell am I doing wasting my time with him on my mind?

Bad, bad, bad.

I need to grow up and be more mature.

I should worry about people who care for me, and make sure I treat them well, which I am not doing.

I should not worry one minute about someone who disrespects me.

things2do

Least of all should I scratch my head, which I am doing relentlessly.

The NQ trade is doing a lot better. This morning it was actually making 300 dollars, but it's not enough to close it.

I expect from it at least 1000 dollars. I expect at least two negative days, after a consecutive 8 positive days (cfr. chart two posts ago).

Going to bed soon, more or less. Good night.

I wish I could just click a button and make unpleasant thoughts go away.

 

[Yamato]

I have started using this medicine called "Tolep" (in Italy) for tinnitus a week ago, after reading that anti-convulsants can help, and I bought the 600 mg box, and after taking 2 pills yesterday and one this morning, today I started having tremors (as I was typing, in my hands and fingers), which is a known side effect (cfr. wikipedia). Today I had to take 2 hours off, because I couldn't work anymore. LOL, but I still have tinnitus.

Positions at 39k.

...

In the end, LOL, this is what's going to happen. I will have all the diseases in the world and I will cure them, maybe only partially, but enough to live longer than the average, and I will outlast and outsmart and out-everything all these assholes around me, at the bank and everywhere else.

But I will still have all the troubles.

Here's my new philosophy: I have received enough from life. I won't be mad at everyone anymore. You can do everything you want to me. I am at peace with the world. I have already received enough from life.

Yo, dude, I also noticed that I have double vision or whatever it's called. Another known side-effect of this thing, Tolep, which is this in English:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxcarbazepine#Side_effects

Oxcarbazepine can cause dizziness, drowsiness, blurred or double vision, fatigue, and may cause headaches, nausea and vomiting. There is also evidence of difficulty in concentration and mental sluggishness. It can also cause hyponatremia (2.7% of patients), so blood sodium levels should be tested if the patient complains of severe fatigue. Some of these side effects (such as headache) are more pronounced shortly after a dose is taken and tend to fade with the passage of time (generally 60 to 90 minutes). A craving for salty foods (such as potato chips) and increased impulsiveness have also been noted. Other side effects include stomach pain, tremor...

I am experiencing all the things in red. I definitely have overdosed on this medicine, hoping to cure my tinnitus.

Also, my NQ position finally turned positive again.

I am going to wait for 2 or 3 down days on NQ at the most, and then I'll close my short position.

...

It's happening. I am not recovering from tinnitus (in fact i got it from the doctors with their eardrum injections), but i am recovering from the financial losses of the last 6 months:

 

[Yamato]

I am back. I survived, despite overdosing on that anti-convulsant.

I am shaking a lot less now. Ah ah... yeah, that's funny. If you take too much of an anti-convulsant, you shake. Which is the first reason you take it -- not to shake:
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/convulsion

con·vul·sion (kən-vŭl′shən)
n.
1. An intense, paroxysmal, involuntary muscular contraction.

Anyway, the markets have rewarded my positions... god has rewarded my positions with yet another thousand or two today.

Life has given me enough. I have no reason to be angry anymore.

I'm gonna try to be in a good mood. Despite the tinnitus.

But to tell you the truth, all this good mood, this change in existential philosophy, is coming from nowhere but here:

My mood has a correlation ratio of 1, relative to my equity line (if you use excel's "correl()" function).

As long as this chart above will keep going up... I will keep my good mood.

Also, I gotta tell you about NQ (because it makes me feel good). Remember how yesterday I went short on it and I was losing? Now I am making 400 on it:



As usual, I was early.

As I said, I will stay short on it, two days or three. So, Friday at the latest I need to close this position.

I think I'm gonna close it tomorrow though.

I'm gonna set a takeprofit a bit higher than 3600.

 

[Yamato]

Yup, just woke up and closed my short on NQ in advance, right here:



Something tells me that today we will stop the fall and resume rising. You know why?

Well, partly because when we have a profit, we're afraid to lose it, especially if it was a loss for a while.

But partly because I know that at about 8 AM (Central European Time) there's a reversal in all markets, and since NQ has been falling up to now, most likely it will start rising.

And partly because GBL looks set to start falling , and when that happens, NQ rises usually.

Well, anyway, I closed my NQ short and made 600 dollars. Better than nothing for an impromptu trade.

Last few days of the equity line of my account = equity line of my mood:



The only way you know this is real is the second and fourth day, when it is not as regular. Otherwise it looks too perfect and regular to be real.

Beautiful, yeah, and yet I am lower than I was when I started this series of trades... it must have been about August of last year.

If this line keeps going at this rate, by the end of next week I should be above 45k, considering a little more than 1k per day. So I'd be profitable relative to when I started these trades.

 

[paszkman]

Hi Travis, what makes you say that there will be an 8am reversal?

 

[Yamato]

Lots of testing on all markets, and lots of observation, too.

Trust me. And there was this time, too.

But you see, this is quite normal, and it can be explained by the schedules of Europeans, Asians and Americans.

Europeans wake up and start trading (8 AM CET), markets change direction. Americans wake up and start trading, markets change direction again. Americans stop their trading sessions (as Europeans go to bed), and markets change direction again.

Then of course there's all the other events: people going to lunch, people going on vacation, people getting ready for the weekend, people resuming trading after the weekend...

-----

Another thing to mention is that I went long on CAD. So now I have the original positions PLUS one more position that I added, long 1 CAD.

I think that now I will just sit, because I've been too lucky recently and I risk blowing it all away as usual. I will now try to just sit for one month.

 

[paszkman]

Lots of testing on all markets, and lots of observation, too.

Trust me. And there was this time, too.

But you see, this is quite normal, and it can be explained by the schedules of Europeans, Asians and Americans.

Europeans wake up and start trading (8 AM CET), markets change direction. Americans wake up and start trading, markets change direction again. Americans stop their trading sessions (as Europeans go to bed), and markets change direction again.

Then of course there's all the other events: people going to lunch, people going on vacation, people getting ready for the weekend, people resuming trading after the weekend...

-----

Another thing to mention is that I went long on CAD. So now I have the original positions PLUS one more position that I added, long 1 CAD.

I think that now I will just sit, because I've been too lucky recently and I risk blowing it all away as usual. I will now try to just sit for one month.

great, thanks for the tip..