Gee, I've had a second argument with a colleague because I keep defending the newly hired or isolated employees from their bosses.
I know it sounds very good and it is. In my life, I have noticed that when i got isolated or mistreated few if any people ever spoke a word to defend me. Even when I was innocent. It is a situation that always disgusted me, people are disgusting to me in general, because I've noticed this thing since an early age. So for sure I don't want to be like them. In general, I'd like to stay impartial, but if they leave me no choice, I will side with the newly hired employee against their boss (who happens to be just a colleague for me).
It is frustrating but it also feels good.
In the first case I defended a girl in my room from a colleague, but he understood that I was right, so he wasn't offended and stopped his behavior. He was treating her like an idiot while explaining things to her.
Then in the second case, it was two higher ups in the same room, arguing with each other, the guy was a bit higher in ranking and he was telling her, yelling at her, screaming that she wasn't doing her share of the job, that she was a shameless tardy and what have you. Regardless of whether he's right, that is no way to treat anyone, so... in this case, I failed to make peace between them, because he told me not to interfere, that it's not my business, so in this case, I had to lose a friend, him, at least temporarily, to make friends with this lady, whom I didn't even know until she got insulted by my so-called "friend".
Now, since the others are not so balanced as I am (at least in this field), what did they do? They went from saying nothing, which is their usual behavior, to suddenly, one day later, all siding with this lady (the second case), probably just because I had done so. You know, the domino effect, or 100th monkey or whatever it's called - their pathetic conformism in other words.
So now the most isolated one is the guy who did the yelling, and now I have to worry about this rude person, who is indeed rude, but who also, like everyone, does not deserve to feel so isolated. The thing is that I was not counting on this conformist behavior from my colleagues, and that within 24 hours everyone would have been with her and against him. And now I am worried about him, and about this isolation towards him that I set in motion. I don't feel that even Hitler should have been isolated for his behavior. In jail ok, but treated nicely, like all other prisoners, and I don't believe in death penalty.
These guys in my room (now there's 8 of us in it) are pretty disappointing in general, in their behavior - like most humans. There's a couple of them who don't even worry about replying to a salutation by someone unless everyone else does. What I do instead is if someone comes and says "hi" and no one answers, I always make sure at least I answer them. These guys instead go with the flow. If no one replies, they don't reply. If most people reply, then they reply. Pretty sad behavior. They're not worried at all about how the person who said "hi" will feel, but are simply concerned about not being left out of the group.
I am definitely learning about group behavior, ever since being moved with these monkeys. Sociology, in other words.
So, these guys, whereas they didn't give a damn about this lady who was being yelled at, after I decided to express support to her for being yelled at, all of a sudden these guys all did the same thing, and now the effect is that it looks like we are all ganging up on the guy who did the yelling, which is still better than to side with him and against her, but what would be even better is to condemn his behavior while accepting him and welcoming him as a person and colleague: we accept you, but we disapprove that specific behavior. Instead, not at all: these guys go from "you're ok" to "you're evil", and all do it at the same time. Crowds... always avoid them. Always avoid groups. People are at their worst when they're in a group.