Girlfriends and Wives and Trading.

[trader_dante]

I would strongly advise you to look after your wife and your family first and foremost.

You cannot truly appreciate the importance of something until you lose it.

I lost my girlfriend of seven years being in the situation you are in.

I was like you - I had the "stop looking at that damned machine and come spend some time with me" and I'd tell myself I was doing it for her and that when I was successful we could spend all the time in the world "sitting together".

But I tell you what mate, when she left me, my world fell apart. And it sounds like a cringe worthy cliche but that's exactly what it felt like.

We broke up over a year ago and not a day goes by that I don't think about her.

And ultimately, although It's good to be able to make a living doing what I love, I would give it all up to spend just a single evening with her sitting together like we used too.

Partners require attention. The market requires your undivided attention.

Either balance your time or if you can't do that, make a choice.

And if you have to make that choice, for your sake I hope that decision isn't to become a trader.

 

[GladiatorX]

Look after your wife and your family first and foremost.

I lost my girlfriend of seven years being in the situation you are in.

I was like you - I had the "stop looking at that damned machine and come spend some time with me" and I'd tell myself I was doing it for her and that when I was successful we could spend all the time in the world "sitting together".

But I tell you what mate, when she left me, my world fell apart. And it sounds like a cringe worthy cliche but that's exactly what it felt like.

It's good to be able to make a living doing what I love but I would give it all up to spend just a single evening with her sitting together like we used too.

You should tell her that then... If you want it so much, it shouldn't be hard to try for it alot, despite any anxiety.

 

[trader_dante]

You should tell her that then... If you want it so much, it shouldn't be hard to try for it alot, despite any anxiety.

Unfortunately it's way past that.

 

[GladiatorX]

Unfortunately it's way past that.

Doubt it. In the end, you can just text her that and she can say 'Okay yeah' or 'Sorry no' ... If you want her back, then on the 1% chance she says yes (For example), surely its worth it ?

I'm sure its more complicated, AKA - Shes married with 4 kids.

Btw... Come to my website www.Datingadvicefortraders.com for more details.

 

[episteme]

It's all about balance - on both sides. If your partner doesn't support your goals then they are being selfish. Similarly - if you put your goals ahead of the relationship then you are being selfish.

I'm sure someone has said it before butys it's about communication. Explain what you are doing, what the plan is for doing it and what compromises that will entail. Establish the boundaries that she will be comfortable with.... and then stick to that.

Don't bury your head in the sand - thinking she is being unreasonable without even having that conversation.

I don't have any problems with this relationship and what I do mainly becauise I learnt from my previous marriage about how to do it all wrong - so I do feel your pain.

 

[Prawnsandwich]

Well obviously she needs to know what yer up to on the computer all the time, not just looking up all the porn constantly..!..

presumably this has already been said ...and if you've told her what yer upto then presumably shes also been told the point of it all ie more money / freedom for all ..then you need to be given some space, man...

and she she should be told to give you said space.....having said that if your losing money big time the thats probably going t be a big problem, as it would effectively be a gambling problem which is not helpful.., and you should just stop what yer doinga nd re-evaluate.....

As beens said already some sort of balance is the key...easier said than done, but part of the discipline of trading is controlling the time you spend at it, and when etc..

 

[spy74]

Well obviously she needs to know what yer up to on the computer all the time, not just looking up all the porn constantly..!..

presumably this has already been said ...and if you've told her what yer upto then presumably shes also been told the point of it all ie more money / freedom for all ..then you need to be given some space, man...

and she she should be told to give you said space.....having said that if your losing money big time the thats probably going t be a big problem, as it would effectively be a gambling problem which is not helpful.., and you should just stop what yer doinga nd re-evaluate.....

As beens said already some sort of balance is the key...easier said than done, but part of the discipline of trading is controlling the time you spend at it, and when etc..

i have had similar problems, ended up agreeing each week in advance, which days i would trade (usually based on economic releases etc - which suits day trading) and then made sure that the time i spent with her was "quality" (ummmm, took me quite a while to work out what quality is, turns out, sitting on the couch with her watching TV, and listening when she talks is actually "quality" time - just let her define quality - i think that's the point). In general, I've found that more quality time with her, means less quantity of time with her, and more time to trade. You could also consider getting her a dog...... Also, someone mentioned earlier a book by Alexander Elder called "Come into my Trading Room", I found this very useful, he really focuses on formulating a trading plan/ money management, and his approach was quite good for trading positions which frees you up to get away from the screens.....hope this helps

 

[Prawnsandwich]

"You could also consider getting her a dog.....:"

lol....not sure what the implications of the above are....but its an intersting approach!

 

[Hilarymannah]

Live by your own rules and make your own mistakes,..the school of hard knocks is a powerful motivator for the right type of person.
Tenacity is one of the prerequisites for successful trading,..go figure.
If you're the type of guy who finds it hard to let go of the past,..you'll find it hard to trade.
Dante's mistake is anothers blessing,..it's all a matter of perspective. " perception is reality" blah blah blah,..on and on and on,...ad infinitum.
Live "your" life and no one elses, or you just might regret it during your last few breaths.

 

[Hilarymannah]

Break out of your comfort zones,....if you don't it usually means you've created a habit in life,and habit leads to routine, and routine leads to boredom,.leads to frustration, to anger,.to regret! : )

 

[Jason101]

Live "your" life and no one elses, or you just might regret it during your last few breaths.

Break out of your comfort zones,....if you don't it usually means you've created a habit in life,and habit leads to routine, and routine leads to boredom,.leads to frustration, to anger,.to regret! : )

Hi Hilarymannah, at first site your words seem at a tangent to the subject. I am sure they are not. Could you clarify how you see your words fit the topic.

Thanks
Jason

 

[Hilarymannah]

Jason,..I just scatter the seeds (words),..let them fall where they may. Life is far more complex than any opinion or single perspective could confine!
If the words seem, to you,.at a tangent, ignore them.

 

[Jason101]

Live by your own rules and make your own mistakes,..the school of hard knocks is a powerful motivator for the right type of person.
Tenacity is one of the prerequisites for successful trading,..go figure.
If you're the type of guy who finds it hard to let go of the past,..you'll find it hard to trade.
Dante's mistake is anothers blessing,..it's all a matter of perspective. " perception is reality" blah blah blah,..on and on and on,...ad infinitum.
Live "your" life and no one elses, or you just might regret it during your last few breaths.

Jason,..I just scatter the seeds (words),..let them fall where they may. Life is far more complex than any opinion or single perspective could confine!
If the words seem, to you,.at a tangent, ignore them.

Very much yes and no.

What I like about trading is that you find out so much about yourself. Trading is one of the few practical occupations in life that the only real answers are questions.

Jason

 

[montmorencyt2w]

"Hey, little girl, comb your hair, fix your make-up, soon he will open the door,
Don't think because there's a ring on your finger, you needn't try any more.
For wives should always be lovers too,
Run to his arms the moment that he comes home to you......etc"

*sigh* ... Life was so much simpler then ...

 

[donaldduke]

I lost my girlfriend of seven years being in the situation you are in.

I was like you - I had the "stop looking at that damned machine and come spend some time with me" and I'd tell myself I was doing it for her and that when I was successful we could spend all the time in the world "sitting together".

But I tell you what mate, when she left me, my world fell apart. And it sounds like a cringe worthy cliche but that's exactly what it felt like.

We broke up over a year ago and not a day goes by that I don't think about her.

And ultimately, although It's good to be able to make a living doing what I love, I would give it all up to spend just a single evening with her sitting together like we used too.

That is the saddest thing i have ever read on Trade2win.

 

[barryb]

I would strongly advise you to look after your wife and your family first and foremost.

You cannot truly appreciate the importance of something until you lose it.

I lost my girlfriend of seven years being in the situation you are in.

I was like you - I had the "stop looking at that damned machine and come spend some time with me" and I'd tell myself I was doing it for her and that when I was successful we could spend all the time in the world "sitting together".

But I tell you what mate, when she left me, my world fell apart. And it sounds like a cringe worthy cliche but that's exactly what it felt like.

We broke up over a year ago and not a day goes by that I don't think about her.

And ultimately, although It's good to be able to make a living doing what I love, I would give it all up to spend just a single evening with her sitting together like we used too.

Partners require attention. The market requires your undivided attention.

Either balance your time or if you can't do that, make a choice.

And if you have to make that choice, for your sake I hope that decision isn't to become a trader.

 

[Black Swan]

That is the saddest thing i have ever read on Trade2win.

Get's fookin boring when you've read it five times though... Only joking TD, love, karma and all of that mate...

 

[GladiatorX]

That is the saddest thing i have ever read on Trade2win.

Don't worry, we've sent a box of tissues, a dress and some shoes to cheer you up.

 

[robster970]

Don't worry, we've sent a box of tissues, a dress and some shoes to cheer you up.

I thought you were the skirt wearer around here?

 

[GladiatorX]

I thought you were the skirt wearer around here?

Yeah; large collection - Thats why i'm sharing.