Girlfriends and Wives and Trading.

[Jack o'Clubs]

So go on then.... what name does he post on here as

 

[DashRiprock]

haha...that would be funny.

I hear him through the vents and sometimes he sounds like a clucking chicken. It makes me laugh. Sometimes I just have to laugh.

so if you can hear him clucking he can probably hear you laughing at him???

 

[trader_wife]

no..he can't hear me. The sound travels up.

Perhaps I should start a support group for families of day traders...?

 

[donaldduke]

I suppose as long the anger doesnt turn into domestic wife beating you dont need to worry.

Even then it could be worse, I beat my wife and kick the dog regardless of how well im doing at my trading.

 

[trader_wife]

I suppose as long the anger doesnt turn into domestic wife beating you dont need to worry.

Even then it could be worse, I beat my wife and kick the dog regardless of how well im doing at my trading.

no you don't...yikes!

No, he is a gentle soul.

 

[trader_wife]

Okay...thanks everyone...time to move on! Onwards and Upwards!

 

[olionion]

One last idea, try talking to him about it.

 

[China Diapers]

I find my biggest handicap in trading is my wife. (Or is it that by trading I escape the wife? lol). Oh F*uck, seriously, she just came in and read that! I am in big trouble!

She wants me to sociailise with her, by watching T.V. ff sake, I do not call that socialising. 'Can you switch off that computer and spend time with me?' watching T.V, yeah right. At least what I am doing is pro-active.

Going to bed long after she has, is not to good for us, I do not need as much sleep as her anyway. She has just asked me if this is a fad. I don't know? Depends if I think I can make proper money out of this or not.

I am trying to work on longer time frames, to lesson screen times, she still complains.

I work full time, any suggestions, or tips on this balancing act?

By the way she is first the first to complain if we do not have enough money to do something. What am I trying to do, I am trying to find a way of generating extra income for her and our son.

Do you find yourself in a similar situation, how is this situation affecting you?

I felt like she was about to to go down the of route of its trading or me.

Watch TV with her a few times, Eastenders or whatever, and talk the whole way through. Ask questions like "****, I didn't realise he was seeing her", and "who'se this guy, I never seen him before". She will get so sick of you disrupting her screen time she'll beg you get back on the computer. She may even divorce you.

 

[China Diapers]

Oh right, didn't realise the thread was so old.

 

[montmorencyt2w]

So go on then.... what name does he post on here as

From one of the previous answers, I would say definitely Arabian.

There again, the OP is probably Arabian.

 

[trader_wife]

One last idea, try talking to him about it.

We talk about it a lot. He's frustrated with himself even...which doesn't help him.

 

[brettus]

We talk about it a lot. He's frustrated with himself even...which doesn't help him.

I think the guy should learn to control his anger and not take it out on you. Family are more important at the end of the day. If the guy can't control himself then he should stop trading. There's no point being rich and lonely

 

[olionion]

he shouldnt think of trading as a war imho, the markets dont know you and care if you are happy, sad, depressed or drunk, if thats the case you might as well stay happy, its more fun.

for example



As opposed to

 

[arabianights]

So is it normal to be angry during trading?

Yes. It's also normal to be even angrier when your girlfriend points it out, or asks annoying questions (all questions are annoying questions). Or looks over your shoulder. Or talks about crap.

However, it's not normal to be unable to afford an office. Is he any good

 

[arabianights]

Is it normal? Yes.

Is it something consistently profitable traders do? No.

Maybe the problem is as you say it is: if he thinks he is at war with the markets, then his head is wired to not accept defeat. But, in trading, you have to accept defeat sometimes, especially when trades go against you.

I suggest he change his mind and how he approaches trading. Instead of looking at it as if it's a war, try to make him think it's more of a "survival of the fittest" game. With that said, he will change his mind into thinking that it's about being consistent everyday.

But I also still think yoga could be a reasonable option.

This simply is not the case. In my markets at present, and probably for the next few years, the only intelligent position is short. They do however go through bullish periods, about half the time atm tbh, and I quite often have to be long just so I can sell to these idiots and have a hope of making money. But I feel angry about, very very very angry. This is totally rational.

 

[arabianights]

I think the guy should learn to control his anger and not take it out on you. Family are more important at the end of the day. If the guy can't control himself then he should stop trading. There's no point being rich and lonely

He's not taking it out on her. I say 99% he doesn't think there's any problem. And he's right.

 

[Chartsy]

This simply is not the case. In my markets at present, and probably for the next few years, the only intelligent position is short. They do however go through bullish periods, about half the time atm tbh, and I quite often have to be long just so I can sell to these idiots and have a hope of making money. But I feel angry about, very very very angry. This is totally rational.

did you have a breakdown? was it necessary to progress or just negativity?

i've been a sick to the stomach insomniac before of course but as someone told me
NO trading 'stuff' after 10pm. oops its 11.38

 

[DashRiprock]

im sorry but basically ive traded on desks and it was good and then i traded from home and it was just as good but easier dress code and smaller desk fees and then girlfriend wants to bring you cheese on toast and saying "**** OFF YOU TROLLOP YOU ARE ****ING UP MY ROUTINE! I SWEAR OF YOU DONT GET OUT OF MY HOUSE AND STOP TALKING TO YOUR CRAPPY FRIENDS ON SKYPE USING MY LINE THEN I AM GOING TO BLOW MY ****ING TOP!

and thats basically why if you have women you should as well have office.

 

[DashRiprock]

im sorry traders wife but this pretty much describes what it is like to be trading.

so its important that your husband has a consistent pre market routine. and that he can do it FLAWLESSLY every time. FLAWLESSLY means that, basically, you are a long way away. as before this is not a personal attack on you but i can speak of what before trading session is like and i know my beans

the problem is with you being near that if anything goes wrong in his trading the most likely he is going to say "bloody hell its because she flushed the loo!" which really is nothing on your fault but that is the way it will seem.

really from my life in trading going to trade is like you have to psyche yourself up and the person that makes money in trading might not be a nice husband....

... like you can ask "does my bum look big in this" is my favourite example because the question you are asking is a lying question! you are asking for compliments not about the volume of your bum.

well for a trader the answer is yes ytour bum does look big because youve got a big bum now go away.

that is a good trader answer, but not a good husband answer. and you cant mix the 2

 

[amit1986]

This simply is not the case. In my markets at present, and probably for the next few years, the only intelligent position is short. They do however go through bullish periods, about half the time atm tbh, and I quite often have to be long just so I can sell to these idiots and have a hope of making money. But I feel angry about, very very very angry. This is totally rational.

Yes, you have a point.

I suppose you're a market maker (in fixed income)? Well as a market maker, you're obligated to make a market on both sides, irrespective of your opinion...correct? So the anger you feel when you have to be long is inside you but you certainly don't/won't express it physically.

I'm not saying that traders don't feel angry/upset - no matter how good a trader, all of them will feel upset/angry at certain points, whether it be at themselves or the market. But expressing it physically by throwing tantrums or cursing at the monitor is certainly avoidable, and even, unnecessary.

So, perfectly rational to be angry/upset. But, perfectly unrational to express it physically, which is what the OP's husband is doing.