Girlfriends and Wives and Trading.

Jack o'Clubs said:
Is he making money or losing money? How volatile are his returns? And not just what he tells you - do you really know? If his trading is the problem then that's a different thing to be addressed than if he is a trading god, but still has anger issues.

Assuming the latter, when does this come out - during or shortly after he's been trading, or any time like at the weekends? You should see the anger that comes out on a trading floor - phones, screens get thrown, the lot. Buy him a punchball or something - if it's coming out at any time then, yes, its an anger management issue and you probably need a very different forum...
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Thanks for the advice! He gets angry when the trade turns against him. He breaks even all the time. He is totally fine when the market closes. But some days he feels like he was in a war. He's also finding this market frustrating.

The more I talk about it, the more I'm refining my question....

So is it normal to be angry during trading?
 
sorry traders wife I really dont mean to be saying you are a b!tch or a rubbish wife or anything its not personal against you.
 
DashRiprock said:
yes of course it could be that... but the person asking the question is of the view that its her husband who has the anger management problems and its not that she is driving him crazy.

shouting and things like screens munched and keyboards smashed and shouting and swearing happen sometimes in trading. So because its not normal to happen in a house makes it a bad atmosphere but on a trading floor people understand a bit more.

i mean because he shouts and stuff doesnt automatically mean hes got an anger management problem it could mean hes got an interfering and judgemental wife. It probably doesnt help that the wife used to trade too.
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I will just assume that you are speaking from your own experiences. Thanks for the advice, but I am nothing like what you have described. He's in charge of dinner. We both contribute. And I take responsibility for my own thoughts and emotions, rather than taking them out on someone else.
 
you say you used to trade with him? were you better than him? if so there is your answer!
 
trader_wife said:
Thanks for the advice! He gets angry when the trade turns against him. He breaks even all the time. He is totally fine when the market closes. But some days he feels like he was in a war. He's also finding this market frustrating.

The more I talk about it, the more I'm refining my question....

So is it normal to be angry during trading?
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Is it normal? Yes.

Is it something consistently profitable traders do? No.

Maybe the problem is as you say it is: if he thinks he is at war with the markets, then his head is wired to not accept defeat. But, in trading, you have to accept defeat sometimes, especially when trades go against you.

I suggest he change his mind and how he approaches trading. Instead of looking at it as if it's a war, try to make him think it's more of a "survival of the fittest" game. With that said, he will change his mind into thinking that it's about being consistent everyday.

But I also still think yoga could be a reasonable option.
 
rc450 said:
you say you used to trade with him? were you better than him? if so there is your answer!
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I am better than him!!! He put me in charge last week as his compliance officer...haha...to help keep him in the trade. But then he stopped listening to me and his ego took over.


lol...dummy stick...that's funny.
 
trader_wife said:
So is it normal to be angry during trading?
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Maybe I don't have enough years experience to say, but I guess it may or may not be "normal".

I don't think it is a useful emotion though (in trading, or anything else).

So it might actually help his trading to do something about it, let alone domestic harmony.

I would say stress is fairly normal though, and people react to that in different ways.
So if he doesn't feel like speaking for a while, for example, that feels pretty normal to me, but he will snap out of it in a while (hopefully).
 
amit1986 said:
Is it normal? Yes.

Is it something consistently profitable traders do? No.

Maybe the problem is as you say it is: if he thinks he is at war with the markets, then his head is wired to not accept defeat. But, in trading, you have to accept defeat sometimes, especially when trades go against you.

I suggest he change his mind and how he approaches trading. Instead of looking at it as if it's a war, try to make him think it's more of a "survival of the fittest" game. With that said, he will change his mind into thinking that it's about being consistent everyday.

But I also still think yoga could be a reasonable option.
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THANK YOU SO MUCH! This is great advice.

He just started getting up in the morning to exercise...which is sooo good. I have mentioned meditation first thing in the morning and at night. I do this and it really is amazing.
 
trader_wife said:
THANK YOU SO MUCH! This is great advice.

He just started getting up in the morning to exercise...which is sooo good. I have mentioned meditation first thing in the morning and at night. I do this and it really is amazing.
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I am sorry to be disagreeing with everyone. and NO I am not a TROLL :sneaky:

but i think some if this is very good advice and some of it is terrible.

Exercise is very good, so is yoga and meditation and visualisation and all those things.

But I think telling him he should think a different way will exaccerbate problems.
 
DashRiprock said:
all the time from home? hes probably not trading full time yet then is he?
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oh yes, he trades full time. He is up in the morning before opening, gets all his charts up, and there until closing. Then he listens to after market stuff and organizes his charts, watches tutorials. He's amazing. I truly respect his dedication.
 
haha...that would be funny.

I hear him through the vents and sometimes he sounds like a clucking chicken. It makes me laugh. Sometimes I just have to laugh.
 
This is really great to get other traders perspective. He's the only trader I known...so it's hard to know what is normal...and what isn't.
 
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