Don't eat too many chips.
Most of you what you say sounds reasonable to me, but in the second part of your post you seem to be taking for granted too many things (humans need a goal, religion is out, etc.).
Regarding me, I can't go any further with my trading. I just rush my capital and systems to perform compounding they cannot perform, and for the past two years I've been killing my capital just this way. Either someone hands me 100k and then I might do things properly, or I am doomed to repeat the same behaviour over and over again.
Regarding goals, my goal may be temporary, because maybe I'll have other goals once I reach it, but it's always been to quit my job. That was my main goal.
Regarding a short term goal, today I was trying to solve a problem with streaming videos. After a few minutes of watching a streaming video my computer freezes and I have to force reboot, because it won't respond to anything.
The computer is always the same and it has always worked, but something has changed - I ignore what. Maybe the world around me has changed. I have an acronis image of the hard disk, no hardware has changed - I can set it back to exactly a month ago, when it worked and those settings kept working for a whole month, with streaming videos and all that. But after an acronis image restore, it still freezes with streaming videos.
In other words, the laptop is always the same laptop that has played streaming movies for months, without ever having any problems. Yet all of a sudden, I simply cannot watch streaming movies anymore, nor youtube videos. I feel like my laptop is out of control, it's falling apart. And as a consequence I am falling apart as well, being a control freak.
So now that I have lost the will to fight because streaming videos freeze my computer, I am counting on you and others to follow in my footsteps, by watching streaming movies and youtube videos. I can't do it any longer.
You know what? Catching the worst computer virus is nothing compared to having these freezing streaming problems. This is the worst nightmare for a computer user. Especially when few of us are experts at this type of problem.
The truth is that I am upset and in a bad mood precisely because I am not willing to give up. I will obsess about this problem until I solve it, or until a bigger problem replaces it.
The causes could be so many, as far as I know: it could be a connection problem (even with my wi-fi). It could be a browser problem. It could be a graphic card problem. A registry problem. Yet I made no changes, so there should be no problem. I hear people talking about dust, and that should not be an issue either, but how do I know. I can't exclude anything.
There are so many things that could go wrong that it's a wonder computers work at all.
I often compare computer with a human body. But there are differences. Of course a computer is better because you can replace parts more easily, unless it's a laptop. But a computer is also worse because it doesn't self-heal like a scar.
In fact a computer can live as long as a human. Obviously since you can replace all its parts, so eventually it will not be the same computer. Yet, if you don't change anything, and use it all the time, that computer... i am getting lost. Anyway, I am quite upset about this problem with streaming videos. I feel I should quit my job and focus on this problem until I solve it.
later edit:
Maybe I solved the freezing problem. I increased the IE temp files size, reduced graphics performance, changed paging file memory settings to automatic, re-enabled some files from the graphics card... it doesn't freeze anymore. I wonder which of all these things it was, but basically it doesn't freeze now. Actually the "Intel GMA driver for Mobile" doesn't even seem to be running, and the simpler one must be running - I guess this is because I lowered performance. I don't know much about these subjects. Anyway, in the process I've discovered a great software for monitoring your pc's temperature and all that, which is called "Notebook Hardware Control".
In some ways this software is even better:
http://www.geocities.co.jp/SiliconValley-Oakland/8259/