my journal 2

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good, I slept

I managed to sleep for 2 hours. Note to self: I fell asleep watching a movie. If I am tired, the best way to fall asleep is to:

1) start a movie on the laptop, placed next to the bed
2) close my eyes
3) turn it off when it starts bothering my sleep and I am already half asleep

It is not the first time that it works. Of course it will be much harder to do this if, as often happens, I wake up at 5 am, and I have to go to work 2 hours later. In those cases, it might not work because of the stress. But it works on the weekends.
 
How do you deal with overly obnoxious people?

Ok, I've been doing some research for tomorrow, and my weekly battling with Vito the virus.

How do you deal with overly obnoxious people? - Yahoo! Answers

From the above link, here's the best advice in my opinion:
People are obnoxious because they want attention so by engaging them get sucked into what they like. Smile and don't get pulled in and you will be surprised at the reaction.
Click to expand...

So I won't smile, but I'll act normal and try to ignore him, as most other people advise. I will not let him engage me into an argument or any sort of conversation. I'll reply normally to his stupid words, and in some cases not even reply.

The truth that I need to remember about this jerk is that he doesn't mean to bother me: he wants to be liked by me, but he does it in the wrong way. It's not exactly an onbnoxious person. It's a person who's disturbing me without realizing it. It's in every way like a hyperactive child.

I must also remember that he can learn and be trained to some extent, and I need to reward him otherwise he won't repeat the good behaviour. For example, last Friday I did tell him "you were very good today", because he didn't interrupt me more than twice in the whole day and he shut the door every time he left the room (I want the door shut at least when he's gone). He is showing efforts and I must reward them. The stick and the carrot method or whatever it's called.

And it is not the most severe case of obnoxiousness and hyperactivity I have come across in my life. Worse cases were:

1) Giuseppe
2) Daniel
3) Salvatore
4) my little cousin Matteo

The only reason this is bothering me so much is that I have had this moron in my room, every day, for the past 3 months. Hopefully by tomorrow, the chimp will have understood exactly what I want from him and then i'll give him his sugar cube.
 
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Good day travis, how you holding up? I was away from the site for a while and just started a journal again today. See you also have the sleeping problems. My sleeping patterns borders on the bizaar these days cause of trying to trade the es out of the philippines while still trading the south africa and european markets. The only thing that works for me is to sleep when i can no longer stay awake and so sometimes i stay up for more than 24 hours before i sleep. I know it is a problem cause sometimes i miss some good trading cause i was awake all night and during asia hours and then when the market is open i fall asleep. So i find it very difficalt to get a routine cause i have never had a routine and find it very difficalt to force myself to do anything.

Anyway just wanted to say hi and hope all is good and you have your descresionary trading under control. I have decided not to fight the descression but rather embrace it. So the only thing is the money management disepline that one needs to keep under control.

Cheers
Ian
 
Yes, thanks for the feedback. Always appreciated. Today he was a good chimp and didn't interrupt me once. Probably by now he considers me like a nazi, but it's ok. My top priority is not being outgoing and amusing but being able to work. So if it's necessary that I come off as a nazi, I am ok with it. Or a swiss, or a canadian... whatever is the stereotype for tidy and orderly and hard-working people.
 
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ian23 said:
Good day travis, how you holding up? I was away from the site for a while and just started a journal again today. See you also have the sleeping problems. My sleeping patterns borders on the bizaar these days cause of trying to trade the es out of the philippines while still trading the south africa and european markets. The only thing that works for me is to sleep when i can no longer stay awake and so sometimes i stay up for more than 24 hours before i sleep. I know it is a problem cause sometimes i miss some good trading cause i was awake all night and during asia hours and then when the market is open i fall asleep. So i find it very difficalt to get a routine cause i have never had a routine and find it very difficalt to force myself to do anything.

Anyway just wanted to say hi and hope all is good and you have your descresionary trading under control. I have decided not to fight the descression but rather embrace it. So the only thing is the money management disepline that one needs to keep under control.

Cheers
Ian
Click to expand...

Yeah, your method works if you don't have to go to class, or to your job. Otherwise it cannot be used. I used it, too, when I didn't have to work or go to class (very few days in my life). Most people can use this method before 5 years old and after 65 years old. But I hope to be able to go back to it, as soon as I get to quit the damn job, which is part of why I suffer from insomnia, since it causes me most of my worries. The other source of worries is the neighbours. Actually the neighbours at home, the neighbours at work... basically people. If I remove people from my life, I won't have worries. Money helps you distance yourself from the people who bother you (you quit your job, you buy a bigger house, more isolated), but I don't have enough right now.

Soon my discretionary gambling will be in control, totally, because I have asked the investors to invest a symbolic amount in my own account, so that I can't touch that either.

Unlike you, I cannot embrace discretionary trading, because it has caused me nothing but losses for 13 years. So I will be happy if I can quit it for good.
 
Problem Vito may be solved

That dick...

I met him this afternoon by the vending machine and we had a long talk.

Among the other things he said:

1) He didn't mean to interrupt my work but he was on a mission to show me the social life, and that there is more to work than just working all the time. To which I replied: "I know how to have fun, too, but here I have a limited amount of time and I want to focus entirely on work. Thanks for the thought, though".

2) He has resolved since a few days ago (that's why he was bearable) that out of respect he will let me have my way, and not interrupt my work with his talking, even though he thinks my non-stop working schedule is not good and he disagrees with my excessive seriousness. I said I'll try to talk to him, but only in the first 15 minutes and last 15 minutes.

3) He promises not to say "hi" when he comes back from the bathroom, and not to say "telephone" each time the phone rings.

4) He asked if I can please rotate my monitor, keyboard and seat back to normal, and to not keep them towards the window because it looks like I want to get away from him. I replied that it's the truth: I wanted to not see him and what he did, because it distracted me.

5) He acknowledges - after I asked him - that I work at least 95% of the time (practically non-stop) and that most of the others at the office work 50% of the time, and that their computers and tables are a mess, and that on the other hand everything is totally efficient on my table and computer (software, hardware, work, order, etc.). He acknowledge that I would not be so efficient and not do so much work if I kept the "social" schedule he keeps, along with most of our colleagues (5 coffee breaks per day, phone calls, screwing around 60% of the time basically).

6) I apologized for working so much and for being so serious - which he didn't fully realize was another way to tell him how much of a slacker and an idiot he is.

I am glad I talked to him. I still think he's an idiot, but now I am pretty sure that he can belong to the large group of good-hearted idiots who think they're my friends, whereas the truth is that - when I can't avoid them - I just treat them fairly, but I think they're dangerous, or worthless at best.

All in all: a reasonable success of my talking and diplomacy. I basically told him that I think he's a superficial idiot, that I want to get my job done, and I admitted that I am inflexible about that and if you will "intolerant", which are all qualities to me, but that he considers like "modesty". To me it just mean being coherent and getting the job done. But he can't understand me, because he's inattentive, distracted, superficial, stupid, careless. He's an idiot. He can't understand me. I'd be worried if he understood me.

Anyway, all I care is that he shuts up and doesn't resent me. I tried several ways to achieve this, and hopefully I've found the right way this time. He was right today when he said that I perceive him "like an object that bothers me". Hopefully, though, I'll still manage to get him to shut up, and not resent me. I don't give a **** about what he has to say to me, it's stupid, it's not even funny, it's just annoying. He's like a radio, that I want to turn off.

It's an improvement. A year ago, my roommate was that other idiot with the radio, now instead I have to deal with a human radio. Just one enemy.

Funny how this great conversation and more training of Vito the Chimp arose because I rotated the monitor, keyboard and seat position by a few degrees in order not to get distracted by the chimp. He resented this and was hurt. What a funny chimp. You behave like a chimp and then you get hurt if people treat you as such. Just a few minutes before I met him at the vending machines (by accident), the chimp was cutting his fingernails at his desk, right in front of me. And then he mentions such values as "respect". What a goddamn animal. A good-hearted animal, a good-hearted idiot. That's all I'll ever see in Vito.
 
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boredom

Boredom on all fronts:

1) Vito, which seems to be solved.
2) Automated trading: all solved but many months of wait ahead of me, before i can see the real action.
3) boredom at home, too.

I don't have anything to do. No one on msn (I've blocked almost everyone). No one on skype. No private messages. No games to play. No... nothing.

Boredom.

I need to create another problem so I can get busy trying to fix it. I need a new enemy, or threat to fight off. A new problem to solve, a bug in the systems, something like that.

I haven't been busy in the past year, which explains why I spent a lot of time checking the views count of the threads here. Imagine now that I feel "bored".

I could get started on that long-term project of murdering the neighbours maybe.
 
today there was a small change in my habits

For the first time I was very tired, had slept only 5 and a half hours, but I still went to work, and on time.

I don't know if it's good or bad, but I think I felt that I couldn't risk my job, not now that the systems really seem to be in good shape. I owe it to them and to myself, not to blow it now, now that I am so close to the target.

It reminds me of that quote from As Good As It Gets: "you make me want to be a better man":


http://www.bobthemovieman.com/watch-1597-As-Good-as-It-Gets

The systems make me want to be a better person. He decides to do his best - even something he dislikes - to get a woman. I decide to do my best - even if it means going to work without having slept well - to not jeopardize my trading. If I lost my job, everything would be risked, because the systems still cannot support me. These systems are my last chance, my last shot at success. Just like for Jack Nicholson that woman is his last shot at happiness. I know I can't blow it. If I lost my job now, everything would be compromised: internet connections, computers, house, server, trading account... it would set me back 5 years. By the time I could be doing what I am doing now again, all the systems might have stopped working. I am willing to swallow a lot of pride and comfort not to suffer this setback and not to blow this last shot at success.
 
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Ah ah, funny.

Please no more jokes and smileys on this journal. You're a likable person, but please keep your posts serious.

Your posts are getting more and more disrespectful. First you say "maybe vito is a homo", then you say "travis is a character" (which lead to the banning of brettus, because he took it one step further), now this stuff (which in your language would be equivalent to "maybe travis is a homo"). Such comments invite more superficiality on the journal. And then, as a consequence, I have to ban a bunch of users.

I mean: stop and think about it for a second. I put all this effort into my journal, which is a work of art, and then you come and fill it with your smileys and such short superficial posts, which require no effort at all. It's almost like an insult. You're like in church here: I am asking you for your best and deepest thoughts, not for something you'd say at the pub.

Pretend you're talking in a tribunal and not at the pub. And depending on what you say you will be condemned. For this time you're released on parole.

I know it may seem excessive but I have to keep a tight watch, given the superficiality that abounds on all internet forums. I don't want this thread to become like all other threads. A smiley calls a smiley, a short superficial post calls another one. It's contagious. Let's stop it from the start.

Just pretend you're in court or in church, where you shouldn't crack jokes. Of course I am the artist so in theory I could write anything. But still I never use smileys.

This is what I reproach Vito for: superficiality. This is what bothers me about him. How can I let this happen on my journal?

Vito must die, superficiality must stop, smileys must stop. All this must come to an end. Leave the gun, take the cannoli. Put effort, seriousness and intelligence into your posts. If you need help, I am here. I will tell you what to do your research on. I will tell you what areas of your brain to activate. Yes, at the start it will be tiring, because it's all rusted out - probably from sitting for so long. You're a good person, so don't make me place you on my ignore list to prevent smileys and superficial posts. Other good people who could not restrain themselves have left us because they ignored my warnings repeatedly. Take this as a job. Posting on this journal is like writing an essay for a class. Class, church, court. Not pub. Class, church, court. Efforts please.
 
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Travis,

I was attempting to be ironic/humorous. Obviously my schoolboy humour is not intelligent enough for you.

If I wanted to go to the church, or class, or even court, I would go there but I don't. I want to come on T2W to talk to like minded people, get help with my trading and have some fun and banter along the way. I have enough seriousness in my everyday life to bother being serious here too.

You have to accept that some people are not as intelligent as you. How can you ask me to write intelligent posts when I am not an intelligent person?

I like reading your journal - your dry humour and your insights into trading, psychology and life in general, make for good reading. But.... Obviously my presence here on your journal is infuriating you. So before I give you the pleasure of banning me I'll ban myself. Take care and all the best,

Sam.
 
I guess it's too late now, but I'll still answer.

Yeah, you seem like a good guy and I know that you meant no harm and thanks for the compliments about the journal and sorry for suggesting that you don't use your brain (that was insulting and excessive) - I just was asking for efforts and for you to be serious. You see, the tone of your posts, even if they don't make fun of me, might encourage someone else to make fun of me - as happened here with brettus, whom I placed on my ignore list (and therefore banned from the journal), because of the things he wrote (it hit me two days later), and it had all started from your post. And now you keep writing with the same tone, so I had to say something against the tone of your posts (and against the smileys, which are part of that tone). The tone of... "this travis is a character".

I had the same exact reaction with tomorton here and here:
This is your second sarcastic post (out of five), where you're making fun of me. The first one was here:
http://www.trade2win.com/boards/trading-journals/85510-my-journal-2-a-145.html#post1258228

You've got two more to go, according to my estimates. Then I will ban you for about one month, always according to my estimates. I am very touchy and I don't enjoy being made fun of. Especially on my journal.
Click to expand...

And here and here is my reaction to be-positive's wise-ass comments (and smileys). He's also banned, and he's the perfect example of what I mean by a "patronizing" and "belittling" tone. I had to start this new journal to avoid his wise-ass comments, since now I have moderating powers and, being on my ignore list, he can't post here.

Even when I am drunk, I am serious. I like to be serious. People laughing bother me. Smileys bother me. Joking bothers me.

You might say "travis is a character" in good faith. You do say it in good faith. But then comes another user (brettus), and says "travis is definitely a character", and then comes a third user and he writes "travis is a creep", as I explained here. So I have to watch out for this kind of stuff on my journal. I have watch out for this kind of tone and for this kind of potential situation. Because I know that I am a free-thinker, and that the tendency is to conform to the norm, as I explained here. There's free thinkers like me who write what they think. There's other people who read. And there's other people who, with words or physical actions, tend to gang up on the free thinkers, because they refuse to conform to the norm. So I have to watch out for this kind of situation, because it happens repeatedly. And it often starts with someone saying, like you did, "travis is a character". Or "this guy is a homo". Next thing you know, that guy is taking a beating because of it.

It was really too much to lead a crusade against your specific post above, but I wrote that stuff keeping in mind your other two previous comments as well:
http://www.trade2win.com/boards/trading-journals/85510-my-journal-2-a-150.html#post1265892
http://www.trade2win.com/boards/trading-journals/85510-my-journal-2-a-157.html#post1281436

Also, I had to tell you something because I owed it to all the other people I have argued with for similar reasons.

I am not afraid of your posts, because I know you mean no harm. I am afraid of the posts by other users that your posts encourage: posts that make fun of me. And if that happens, I lose my ability to write openly and freely, and feel very encouraged to conform to the norm. And if I do that, I either don't write or I don't write anything original anymore, as I explained here to be-positive:
These are 5 out of 8 of your posts on my journal. I am seeing a pattern here: you're ridiculing me and trying to get people to laugh at me. In other posts you say "merry christmas" and similar "nice" things, but it seems you're only pretending to be my friend. In case you care, it bothers me to be ridiculed and it interferes with my ability to express myself freely and sincerely, which is what I would like to do on my journal.
Click to expand...
Your posts are not evil. But they give an opportunity to others to start a stream of "let's gang up on travis" posts that will take away my freedom to express myself.
 
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more boredom

Woke up early because of the child crying (neighbour). Can't fall back asleep. Fixed some stuff on the systems' charts. They just don't seem to ever take off. We choose a selection of 10, and they lose. We pick a better selection, and they still don't take off. Whatever their performance in the past year, it never gets replicated with the same speed. Each combination had returned 3000 per month, and when you trade it, it returns zero at best. At least now we're positive. But I was expecting those 3000 per month, which never happen.

You choose a system because it has performed well, and then the other system, which you didn't choose, starts performing well. It's the same as in this movie clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tm47ds-r6sA

http://www.moviesonlineathome.org/watch-2401-Office-Space

I hope the investors don't lose their hope and stop trusting my systems. On the other hand by now we should have over 12 thousands of profit, according to my initial estimates. Instead we have 1000. So, if and when they will abandon this project, it will mean, to me as well, that it wasn't as good as I thought. My wishful thinking has biased my estimates. The systems are clearly performing much worse than in my expectations.


Hey man
Che cammini come me
Dall'altra parte della strada
Hey man
Vieni e canta insieme a me
Da questa parte della strada
Click to expand...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zucchero
 
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