Replying as I read.
Yes, good idea to post again. Bring it on.
Yes, we have another 5k to go (down). Still not over. Maybe we'll recover.
It's not a personal blow, as I said, because I am on vacation, so I can pretty much accept anything while I am on vacation. There's no other burdens. No neighbour bitch slamming her door, no colleagues bothering me... everything is perfect. Except for the trading. So I can easily accept it.
I read that you have not seen automated traders being profitable more than discretionary traders. That's interesting because recently an Italian trader, friend of mine, told me that he thinks there are no profitable discretionary traders, while there are a lot of profitable automated traders.
Thanks for telling me that I have come the closest. Yes, that equity curve of mine looked quite good indeed. But not anymore.
Are you saying the large financial institutions can do it? I don't understand the sentences in this paragraph. If you say so, then I agree. They have more resources. But then again, they have a lot of idiots bothering the good people, so they might fail because of the idiots distracting the good people and interfering with their work. As a rule, the boss is an idiot. So the little guy at that company has to try and succeed at this despite being under the idiot boss. So I don't know if they're really going to make it happen.
Yes, good summary: the basis of my trading edge is mechanical. If I interfere with that at all, the consequence will be and has been the blowing out of my account. Which did not happen in this case, since we're only talking about losing the profit made by the systems.
Ok, let's answer your questions now.
1.
a. Yes, quadrupled margin, and given that margin is kept separate from profit, there was 4 times as much margin, plus the 37k of profit, which is now totally gone. The profit was left on the account, to avoid any misunderstandings.
b. Yes, this is all correct. I must add that "altering" does not mean that I disabled the previous combination, but that I simply added more systems/contracts to those being traded with the previous combination.
2.
a. "Relativized" means for me that (as explained before) if there's a bunch of losses on a system when CL was at 30 and today CL is at 90, then we have to multiply that drawdown by 3, and we get the relativized drawdown (by today's prices). There were no alarms set off in anyone's minds. We stick to a combination until the death. We're not tempted to do anything. That's what I learned this year. Once chosen, you keep trading it until you move on to a bigger combination, until you are wiped out, or until one systems clearly fails (tripling its max drawdown or so), in which case you remove it, but even that process is slow. We've never said "oh, damn, we lost 5k because of this system today - let's disable it".
b. No, there's no such rule. We proceeded according to margin available and profit cushion (the profit made has to cover the potential losses). This time we did something wrong (scaled up without a big enough cushion), or, more likely, my combination of systems was not a good one. That's why I don't feel bad: it was largely my fault. But even better: I gave it my best, so it was even more bad luck than my fault. Well... These were the causes in a descending order of importance: 1) my fault in selecting the combination (e.g.: should not have included silver), 2) bad luck, 3) scaled up too fast (without an adequate cushion).
3.
a. I don't understand the concept of "placing the same bet over and over". I have been swimming too much to understand this complex concept right now. There's water in my brain. Seawater. If you're getting at the concept that we should not have invested when the EUR and ES were going down, then my answer is: how do we know if and when and how long they will go down? If we did, the easiest way to make money would be to simply trade those two futures, long and short.
b. Yes, to some extent, as I said before, we're victims of 1) bad luck, 2) scaling up too fast.
To summarize my reasoning until here, I would say that this combination, in time, will make money, but it definitely sucked for one long month, and our cushion was not big enough to cover the potential drawdown. I also have to admit: my systems are not that good. And I was not that good at picking a good combination. I was affected by wishful thinking to some extent. I was not expecting the worst of the worst to happen as soon as we started trading the new combination.
4. If I were given the opportunity to trade again, with someone else's capital I guess, because I have none, I would keep all the things I have learned, all the workbooks I have built this year, and all the concepts I have developed (often with the coaching of investors). It was all good. No regrets. The extra thing I know is that my systems suck really bad, and you're never too picky in choosing what you will trade. And that if the past showed a 27k relativized max drawdown, you should be ready to witness a 54k drawdown as soon as you start trading.
I don't want to admit it, but deep inside, I feel I have not selected the right combination of systems. Many of the new systems I have enabled have been excellent in back-testing, but that is still not good enough. I have broken my rule of only enabling systems that have been good both in back-testing and forward-testing. This is my fault. It's all my fault. No one to blame. If anything, I should apologize for this part of my work, which was not good.
5. My confidence is shattered, because as I just said, I have not followed my rule due to feeling an urge to make money, suffering from wishful thinking... I am not self-sufficient. My confidence is so shattered that I either need someone to be a pessimist for me, or I won't be confident to trade anyone's money. I am not equipped with all that's needed to trade anyone's capital right now. Luckily this time I only blew a lot of profit but no accounts. It is an improvement.
6. Yes, it was covered, but I can write more about the lessons learned. This year has taught me a lot. Some coached, and some not. It was mostly my work, but many insights were given to me, through questions, recommendations, examples and similar. So this year was not one lesson but a college degree in money management and back-testing. The final lesson, of this last month and drawdown, was that even the best people, even those who teach you discipline and money management are affected by success and by a rising equity line. They will relax and trust you with your choices, but then, if you're affected by wishful thinking, you're all going to be screwed, because they trust you given your equity line, but you're a bit too optimistic to be trusted. Then disaster happens.
"Disaster" means that we'll stop trading. The truth is that I don't think this combination is unprofitable, but just that it is having a long drawdown. But I have no way to prove it. I cannot expect people to lose all their money to prove my point. I could also be wrong. I already know for a fact that I was wrong in expecting this combination to be better than it is. This is a huge and unexpected drawdown.
7. My goals now are much smaller. If I'll be dropped, as could be expected, I'll be glad to manage 30k from my father. And I'll be glad to keep all the profit. With 30k I can trade very few systems, so I'll easily be picky in picking them. I will be able to trade 20 systems or so, and of course I'll pick the best 20. With this latest capital I had, I was able to enable 50 of them, and maybe I just do not have 50 excellent systems, but just 30, and one should not trade systems that are not excellent, because what have been excellent systems until today will be pretty good systems tomorrow.
Thanks for the wishes.