my journal 2

Status
Not open for further replies.
midweek update

Snap1.jpg

Drawdown almost over. Come on, another small step and we're out of it...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbiPDSxFgd8
 
To them my job is not killing me. To them I am lucky and just a person who likes to complain all the time. To them trading is not a better and more secure job than banking. And to them it is immoral anyway to make money without working - which is actually what trading is, because I am not producing anything good for society and, with automated trading, I am also making money without making efforts (of course I spent 10 years building them, but you know what i mean).

But speculation does contribute to society. We provide liquidity for the buyers and sellers who are interested in the actual underlying object that is being traded.

Speculators were brought in deliberately on the creation of the Chicago futures exchanges 100 or more years ago. The exchanges had liquidity problems because the farmers of course always wanted to sell just after harvest and so on. They were called 'locals' and they would continually buy and sell in their speculation activities, meaning that the farmers, insurers, food producers etc always had someone there to buy or sell to.

So don't disrespect the job. Not a lot of people recognise the fact, but if we all disappeared, they would find out pretty fast.
 
we do not produce anything and therefore we cannot call it a "job"

Yeah, the usual "we provide liquidity" reply. Saying that we are useful because we provide liquidity sounds to me like a criminal saying that he's useful because he provides jobs for the police, a serial killer saying he's useful because he provides ideas for movie makers and ultimately entertainment for people, and an arsonist saying he provides jobs for firefighters. But even more related, a professional gambler saying he provides education to the suckers he wins money from.

So I am by all means disrespecting the job. This job deserves less respect than most other jobs, and it is not a job. Even a drug dealer is more useful to society than us.

Having said this, who says that people are bakers because they want to fight the hunger? Who says that a lawyer becomes a lawyer to help the needy rather than to make money? Most of us do what we do to make money and not to help others, so we're not worse than most people. But let's not say that it's a job or that it's a useful job. It's not a job. We're just doing what everyone else is doing: trying to make money. Then it's up to us how we use it. We're all looking after our interests, even the doctors and the lawyers are.

But let's not try to say that we're just as useful as a doctor or a lawyer, because we're going to lose that debate. We're trying to make money like most doctors and lawyers, and that is ok. Except that by trying to make money they produce a service. When we do this, we provide very close to zero value to society.

Best example, though is the parasite fish, what is it called... remora:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Echeneidae
The relationship between remoras and their perfect hosts is most often taken to be one of commensalism, specifically phoresy. The host they attach to for transport gains nothing from the relationship, but also loses little. The remora benefits by using the host as transport and protection and also feeds on materials dropped by the host.
But even a better quote is here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commensalism
In ecology, commensalism is a class of relationship between two organisms where one organism benefits but the other is neutral (there is no harm or benefit). There are three other types of association: mutualism (where both organisms benefit), competition (where both organisms are harmed) and parasitism (one organism benefits and the other one is harmed).
This is a ridiculous entry, actually, because the second sentence contradicts the first. But the correct part is the first sentence (there's got to be more than 3 categories so the second sentence is wrong): we benefit and we don't hurt anyone, but saying that we're "useful" is not exactly describing things the way they are. It is stretching the truth. We fit perfectly the category of "parasites".

Here's the situation:


The commercial farmer using the future to no longer worry about "being ruined by a low wheat price at harvest time" is the shark. We're the remora. That's how useful we are to society. But as I said, we're just trying to make money and that's pretty common, also among lawyers and doctors.

And this bit was to address how useful we are. As useful as remoras.

But now, since I also said repeatedly that it's not a "job", let's investigate that concept as well:
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/job
1. a piece of work, especially a specific task done as part of the routine of one's occupation or for an agreed price: She gave him the job of mowing the lawn.
2. a post of employment; full-time or part-time position: She was seeking a job as an editor.
3. anything a person is expected or obliged to do; duty; responsibility: It is your job to be on time.
Job doesn't sound to me like the correct term to define what trading is. Nor does it sound to the dictionary. That is, unless we're traders for someone else. Then it is a job by all means. If we're independent traders, then it doesn't seem to be a "job". As independent traders, we don't do trading for "an agreed price" (cfr.1). It is not a "post of employment" (cfr.2). We're not obliged to do it (cfr. 3).

However, let's look at the etymology, too, and we find some relation to a job:
Word Origin & History

job

1557, in phrase jobbe of worke "piece of work" (contrasted with continuous labor), perhaps a variant of gobbe "mass, lump" (c.1400, see gob). Sense of "work done for pay" first recorded 1660. Slang meaning "specimen, thing, person" is from 1927. The verb is attested from 1670. On the job "hard at work" is from 1882. Jobber "one who does odd jobs" is from 1706. Job lot is from obsolete sense of "cartload, lump," which may also be ult. from gob.

Now we look for gob:
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gob

That's not useful.

But let's put it like this. If "job" is simply something we do to make money, then it is a job. However, if "job" is expected to be something where you have an employer, a contract, a regular wage, then "independent trader" is not a job. I mean, yes, a guy selling peanuts nor any other entrepreneur have a regular wage, an employer... so that is not logical either. Basically the whole point of something being a "job" seems not to be even the regularity of the wage, nor the employer, nor the contract, but rather the mere fact that you're producing a service for others. "Thief" is not a job. There you have it. "Independent trader" is closer to being a "thief" than to anything else. If a "thief" can call what he does a "job" then we can also call it a "job", otherwise we can't. The whole thing keeps on revolving around the same issue: we do not produce anything and therefore we cannot call it a "job". And I am going to title this post with this thesis statement I just proved.
 
Last edited:
http://www.putlocker.com/file/3V278JRISL4W0SO

good one

putlocker and stagevu are great servers for online movies, the best: great quality of image, speed, and no interruptions (unlike on megavideo)

but you know what: putlocker has one big advantage that makes it the best. You can get to any place in the movie without worrying to load the whole movie first: if you do it on stagevu you usually have problems, and even going back has problems sometimes. basically putlocker right now rules.
 
Last edited:
Tomorrow I will probably test my last two remaining systems to fix and end this whole phase of creation.

EUR_ID_3 and EUR_ID_6 need to be fixed. And then I will be done.

I am going to need to rest one more day.

 
Last edited:
I need marijuana to sleep. I keep waking up at 7 am because after a few hours of sleeping you're more alert and the slightest sound wakes you up, and at 7 am that's when it happens. And then I am too alert to go back to sleep.

So I have to go to bed not at 1 am but at 11pm, but to do that I need something to relax me a whole lot and xanax and melatonin are not enough. I am too alert these days. But if I weren't, I'd forget turning the systems on, or the keys, or get run over when I cross the street. One needs to be alert, goddamn it.

But marijuana is not easy to get. Beer would be a good substitute, but it hurts my health too much to drink a liter of beer every day. Another problem is that if I buy beer i end up drinking it all day long, and so that would mean 2 liters per day.

So right now I have slept only 6 hours, which sucks big time.

Damn.

If I instead accept sleeping just 6 hours, then it means I sleep 6 hours one day, and 8 hours the other day, because one day I am dead tired and I fall asleep early, and the other day I am rested and I fall asleep at 1 am.

You follow me? This is a major problem.

On the other hand, another solution would be killing all humans in the range of a kilometer. Then sounds would cease and also worries. But I'd get caught pretty fast.

I need to quit my job and move to the island.

Also, I have decided that I will evade taxes, at least when it will be as much as just a few thousands of gain. Yes, because here it seems I would be getting taxed up my ass.

Here they say - I talked yesterday to two friends - that my gain is not capital gain, but at best intellectual property (leasing the systems), and that is 23%. But then if I don't get it to be acknowledged as such, it would be 38%. So that would mean, on top of what I am taxed already at the start by others (10%), I will end up with roughly 50% of the gross gain I'm entitled to.

So, until I find a better solution, such as starting a company or having the cash to pay a tax expert (which right now would cost me much more that what I made), I am considering tax evasion.

But then again I work at compliance for my bank so I know that pretty soon the italian bank receiving the monthly wires will start asking me what they are and if I am paying taxes on it. They'll ask me once the monthly payment exceed a few thousands. And I need to give good and convincing answers, or I'll be reported. If I get reported to the financial police, after a few days they'll come to my house, take my computers, and have all my systems. That sucks.

To give good answers I need to speak the truth.

Or.

I could get paid on a different bank each time, and that way I could avoid being noticed. But then I start being dishonest. I mean tax evasion is dishonest, but I can do it honestly. I get paid until I am asked, and then when I am asked, I say "hey, dude - do you expect me to pay 38% of taxes on these gains?".

I wish I could get paid on IB and reinvest it, but IB reports you even faster if you receive money on your account from anyone other than yourself.

Maybe I could get the money wired to myself at the bank where i work.

That way I would get a suspicious transaction report sent to myself, or to my boss, and I'd get fired immediately. And that would solve all my sleeping problems.

Or.

I could have the guys wiring me the money write "insider trading proceeds". Then, no matter how small the gains, I would get noticed pretty fast and speed up being fired.

It's amazing that for the first time ever, I am having to worry about the goddamn taxes. 14 years of trading and I never once had to worry about it, because I always ended the year unprofitable (or the 3 years, because if you lose in the year before, it doesn't count if you make it back a year later, and similar).

Actually it is appealing, the idea of getting the money wired to my own bank, and show my colleagues, by receiving a STR on myself, that finally my trading is paying off. I'd be proud of being reported to myself. And then I'd get fired or be transferred to mopping floors department.

And now I need to go or I'll be late, despite sleeping six hours and waking up two hours early. I need marijuana and a lot of beer. Yeah. That sucks. Either that, or I kill all the neighbours.

Or I become relaxed like every other human idiot, and then I start forgetting stuff, and I'd be screwed. Precision and alertness has been a constant value in my life and without it I feel I'd be lost. And that requires me to be tense all the time. And that in turn causes insomnia.

[...]

Drugs would help a lot. I need marijuana. I need to find out about medical marijuana. That would be ideal, to get a prescription for that. It would solve my problem: when it's time to relax, I relax. When it's time to be alert, I am alert. I don't want to be alert all the time, because then I can't sleep and then I am not alert the next day.
 
Last edited:
Re: we do not produce anything and therefore we cannot call it a "job"

Yeah, the usual "we provide liquidity" reply.


How about this: speculators aid price discovery (with a few exceptions).

Be down about the work if you want. It's not healthy for your mental state though.

I think when ordinary people say "job" they do mean that the job should be something that you get paid for and something that is therefore worthwhile, with the implication that getting paid to do something means it must be useful and good for society.
 
Hmm, I can't help noticing and can't help but note that you're not putting in a lot of work to reply to my elaborate argument.

Once again my demonstrated argument is that, as independent traders, we're not useful, we're not getting paid by anyone, we're not making regular wages and therefore we cannot call it a job. As automated traders, we're not even doing anything, so that's even worse as far as calling it a "job".

A "thief" cannot call what he does for a living a "job". We're in a similar situation, except our thing is legal.

And... "it doesn't make any difference to me what a man does for a living, understand. But your business is... a little dangerous".

http://www.subzin.com/s/your%20business%20is%20a%20little%20dangerous
 
Hmm, I can't help noticing and can't help but note that you're not putting in a lot of work to reply to my elaborate argument.

It's because there are things in my life eating my time and leaving very little left for replying to you. Sorry. I'll go into lurking mode then.
 
Well, always a pleasure to have someone to argue/debate with, but not if they don't read my posts (sometimes you do that) or reply too quickly. Otherwise what did I write it for?
 
Damn, I have to postpone fixing the systems because of these damn ACE people keeping me at work until 7 pm today. They left, but I had to stay to do all the work they caused.

As a consequence I am too tired to work on the last two systems. They will have to wait the weekend. Now only a movie can renew my energies. I will watch one of those funny Sean William Scott comedies.

This is great:
http://www.putlocker.com/file/13OZV2DXMDC00G0

I am laughing right from the start.

Nope, thought wrong. It's evolving pretty badly. It held up for just 2 minutes. It's total trash. I'll wait to see if Sean William Scott shows up or not.
 
Last edited:
All right. Tonight as well, I did not manage to go to bed at the right time, even though I still 8 hours ahead of me to sleep, but who knows if I'll wake up early or not.

I am frustrated from that lousy chat I had with my dad. It would have been much better to avoid him. He's really of no support at all, morally, emotionally speaking. Intellectually, he is valuable.

Tomorrow we have the usual one-hour meeting with ACE people. I might be used to it soon. Being used to hearing something wrong and not raising my hand to object. I suppose this is like the army. They're teaching us to obey blindly without reasoning. All my objections have been rejected by the stupid bitch who keeps on lecturing us on how things should be done. And she drafts paper charts instead of using excel and printing them. It's depressing but I am getting more and more used to it.

The systems have disappointed this week, and so far they've lost 500 dollars for the week. I was expecting from them about 5000 dollars per month, whereas they've made nothing at all for 2 months. In theory, looking at the past, profit should even be 6000 per month. Instead what I've been seeing is more like 2000 per month. It sucks.

This weekend for sure I will finish fixing those two failed EUR systems, and start the automation phase. That part is the fun and easy part. At work, I will try to leave at 3 pm sharp. Screw them all. I am going to stop being conscientious.

In my company, all I've gotten for being so conscientious is being held in high esteem by the colleagues. No career, no bonuses, no fun, nothing else. Just being appreciated and exploited. I am going to cut it down a little.

Anyway, soon I'll be running 120 automated systems, of which 60 will be worth trading. I am counting on at least all profitable months. That's the least I am expecting.

And now I'll try to sleep. Neighbours allowing. And tomorrow I'll try to be more carefree and less conscientious.
 
Last edited:
hi mate

just saying really that this is a proper good "heart on sleeve" journal and its well good I rated it 5 stars :) I admire you for being so open and honest about everything (y)

anyway just as sort of an offshoot have you ever learnt about buddhism?
 
Replying as I read.

Thanks for that compliment and for the rating. I really need compliments from people because I've been so criticized when I was growing up by that asshole I keep mentioning. I am always craving encouragement. Regarding the rating, thanks, because that is one of the few five stars I've ever received (probably 10 in total). Unfortunately I had to subscribe as different users and rate myself, in order to keep my rating at 5 five stars, because every once in a while there's some asshole who rates me a one star because he hates to see others "wear their heart on their sleeve" as you say. For every one star I get, the average drops so much that I then need to subscribe as ten different users and re-rate myself five stars.

Regarding your question on Buddhism, I don't know almost anything about religions other than Catholicism. I live right near the pope, actually and I can see his house from my window. Right now, after being a Catholic until I was a teenager, I would call myself an agnostic, and I stay away from all religions, because I consider them all an invention of humans. Occasionally, if I am on a plane that seems to be about to crash to the ground, or similar desperate situations, I turn Catholic again and pray.
 
Occasionally, if I am on a plane that seems to be about to crash to the ground, or similar desperate situations, I turn Catholic again and pray.

:LOL:

so do you live near the vatican? that would be cool!

OK so I was introduced into zen buddhism by my trainer when I was new in trading. to be honest you dont have to discard any of your existing beliefs or pray to elephants in the sky with 6 arms or anything like that, but it did help me in my trading and sort of generally in life as well.

All I did was read a few books and try to put into practice what it suggests, so no sitting in dark rooms not moving for hours on end (tho there is a bit of that) but anyway just a suggestion.

(y)
 
In random order these are some of the things that keep me from getting started on what you are suggesting:

- I am a control freak and I would not want to give away some of the control I have over my life to a religion, a doctrine, school of thought. I am individualist and I think my thinking is the ultimate philosophy on how things are in the world. I feel that my perception is the right one.

- I don't like to start something I can't finish, and right now the task of studying buddhism doesn't seem like something i can complete.

- I don't find it easy to read books, probably because I already feel I know everything there is to know, and in fact right here I am writing my book, sharing my knowledge and my philosophy. I am a trader/philosopher. I want to be profitable, so I can stop working at the bank, and philosophize like Plato and Socrates and all that stuff. You know: walking and talking, asking questions, demonstrating, proving... I am more focused on reasoning than learning other people's reasoning. I prefer to preach than to hear others preach (I am fed up with my father's preaching already).

Having said all this, if you would like to share - very quickly - a couple of ideas, without any need to expand on them nor explain them in detail, I might appreciate it, and also you might enjoy to write something about it. But do not write more than you feel like writing. It doesn't have to be a treatise.

Yes, I live right near the vatican. I can't take pictures right now only because I am not a fan of digital cameras. Sometimes I wish I had it, so I could post some pictures.
 
Ok, today I came home early, so, for sure, I will be able to fix those two EUR systems. In the meanwhile the systems today are losing even more money. Damn.
 
Thanks, that I can watch.

I am watching it and so far (five minutes into it) I can't stand it, but I'll keep watching.

It's more and more depressing, fifteen minutes into it. At minute 16 I am turning it off. Damn, it is too depressing.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top