Yamato
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dude
Dude, let us hope that the GBL_ID will start with a big win and won't let us down.
If we could just get to 6k (on my account) we could then include the GBL_ON and then bye bye baby, because then there's no looking back. We'd get to 10k very quickly and then... I am ready to fly.
Let's just pray that vito dies and that the GBL_ID and the others take us to 6k. Then the sky is the limit.
Another 5 hours to go.
I am telling you - the sky is the limit. Look here at our (investors) account:
We were like a hot air balloon losing altitude and then, each time we lost altitude, we wised up and identified and dropped, one by one, all the sandbags (ES_ID_3, YM_ID_2, ZN_ID, ZN_ID_2) and (with a little bit of luck, too) we took off like a rocket. And now, literally, the sky is the limit.
THOSE DAMN SANDBAGS-SYSTEMS
I've been a goddamn moron in choosing sandbags-systems and hoping they'd bring our equity curve up. That's because I selected systems based on their in-sample (obviously all the in-samples look good or I wouldn't even have automated them) rather than their out-of-sample. Never again. Never again. Never again. We'd have made more than 10k by now, had I not chosen those four mother ****ers, that caused us 6500 dollars of losses.
On my own account, I've instead benefited from the mistakes made on the investors' account, and started off on the right foot and we've already doubled the account in about two months.
MY DREAM: CATCHING UP WITH THE INVESTORS
My dream/project/ambition is to catch up with my account, and equal the investors' account in terms of systems traded. All I'd need is 15k to do that. Then both accounts can be managed in an identical way, and I can be a bit more carefree. Right now it is 4 systems on mine vs. 8 on the investors'. If we reach 6k, it will be 5 vs 8. If we reach 10k, it will be 7 vs 8. But soon the investors' account may go up to 11 systems, and then it will be much harder to catch up with it, because it will grow exponentially. If I had been disciplined when I started with 5k in June, right now I'd be caught up. But instead I did my own discretionary trading and tampering and I blew my account two or three times between June and now. Then I came up, as I said repeatedly on the journal, with the Golden Share trick, whereby they have a percentage of my account, and I need their permission to implement any changes, and of course discretionary trading and tampering with the systems is totally banned.
ONLY WAY TO FAIL IS DYING OR HAMMERING MYSELF IN THE BALLS...
The only way I can fail now is if I die or if, irrationally, I start hammering myself in the balls in some new creative way.
I am not that masochistic though. For example, Vito tends to stress me out and could have sabotaged my mind and work life in many ways (much more than he's already doing), but I dealt with him in the best of ways. I have reported him to the management, and I have taken it easy: keeping my distance from him and being cold. I didn't face him directly, nor picked up a fight with him, which would have caused me much more damage. So, all in all, I am not that afraid of success, not so afraid that I will go out of my way to sabotage myself and prevent myself from reaching it.
...BUT I AM NOT THAT MASOCHISTIC
I don't overeat, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I brush my teeth, I don't have piercings, I don't have tattoos... I have not been hurting myself in any way which resembles the way I was hurting myself with compulsive gambling. I wish myself well. I have increased my part-time schedule, year after year, bringing it all the way to 6 hours, from 9 to 15. In other words, I am not used to being successful, I almost can't believe I will make money (and I am making), I have to get used to the new situation, but I don't think it will make me so uncomfortable that I will find new creative ways to prevent it from happening.
A CALCULATED GAMBLE WAS NEEDED
Especially thanks to the investors who are monitoring me, because a dangerous thing would have been to scale up too fast. But I definitely cannot do it on their account, because there's a few ways they're avoiding that (the "profit cushion" concept first of all), and they're not stopping my scaling up on my account, because we're actually investing beyond what the max drawdown would allow us to do, but they're slowing me down enough to make it a calculated gamble, rather than a reckless one. I mean: we started with 2500. It would taken years to get anywhere if we didn't do a calculated gamble. You see, all my good systems have a drawdown of 10k, so we could only have traded the crappy ones. But the crappy ones are no good, because they trade rarely and they trade badly. We could have been going up and down for 2 years before being able to afford one of the best systems (GBL systems and ZN_ON_2).
Another 4 hours to go. Now I'll go back to work.
Dude, let us hope that the GBL_ID will start with a big win and won't let us down.
If we could just get to 6k (on my account) we could then include the GBL_ON and then bye bye baby, because then there's no looking back. We'd get to 10k very quickly and then... I am ready to fly.
Let's just pray that vito dies and that the GBL_ID and the others take us to 6k. Then the sky is the limit.
Another 5 hours to go.
I am telling you - the sky is the limit. Look here at our (investors) account:
We were like a hot air balloon losing altitude and then, each time we lost altitude, we wised up and identified and dropped, one by one, all the sandbags (ES_ID_3, YM_ID_2, ZN_ID, ZN_ID_2) and (with a little bit of luck, too) we took off like a rocket. And now, literally, the sky is the limit.
THOSE DAMN SANDBAGS-SYSTEMS
I've been a goddamn moron in choosing sandbags-systems and hoping they'd bring our equity curve up. That's because I selected systems based on their in-sample (obviously all the in-samples look good or I wouldn't even have automated them) rather than their out-of-sample. Never again. Never again. Never again. We'd have made more than 10k by now, had I not chosen those four mother ****ers, that caused us 6500 dollars of losses.
On my own account, I've instead benefited from the mistakes made on the investors' account, and started off on the right foot and we've already doubled the account in about two months.
MY DREAM: CATCHING UP WITH THE INVESTORS
My dream/project/ambition is to catch up with my account, and equal the investors' account in terms of systems traded. All I'd need is 15k to do that. Then both accounts can be managed in an identical way, and I can be a bit more carefree. Right now it is 4 systems on mine vs. 8 on the investors'. If we reach 6k, it will be 5 vs 8. If we reach 10k, it will be 7 vs 8. But soon the investors' account may go up to 11 systems, and then it will be much harder to catch up with it, because it will grow exponentially. If I had been disciplined when I started with 5k in June, right now I'd be caught up. But instead I did my own discretionary trading and tampering and I blew my account two or three times between June and now. Then I came up, as I said repeatedly on the journal, with the Golden Share trick, whereby they have a percentage of my account, and I need their permission to implement any changes, and of course discretionary trading and tampering with the systems is totally banned.
ONLY WAY TO FAIL IS DYING OR HAMMERING MYSELF IN THE BALLS...
The only way I can fail now is if I die or if, irrationally, I start hammering myself in the balls in some new creative way.
I am not that masochistic though. For example, Vito tends to stress me out and could have sabotaged my mind and work life in many ways (much more than he's already doing), but I dealt with him in the best of ways. I have reported him to the management, and I have taken it easy: keeping my distance from him and being cold. I didn't face him directly, nor picked up a fight with him, which would have caused me much more damage. So, all in all, I am not that afraid of success, not so afraid that I will go out of my way to sabotage myself and prevent myself from reaching it.
...BUT I AM NOT THAT MASOCHISTIC
I don't overeat, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I brush my teeth, I don't have piercings, I don't have tattoos... I have not been hurting myself in any way which resembles the way I was hurting myself with compulsive gambling. I wish myself well. I have increased my part-time schedule, year after year, bringing it all the way to 6 hours, from 9 to 15. In other words, I am not used to being successful, I almost can't believe I will make money (and I am making), I have to get used to the new situation, but I don't think it will make me so uncomfortable that I will find new creative ways to prevent it from happening.
A CALCULATED GAMBLE WAS NEEDED
Especially thanks to the investors who are monitoring me, because a dangerous thing would have been to scale up too fast. But I definitely cannot do it on their account, because there's a few ways they're avoiding that (the "profit cushion" concept first of all), and they're not stopping my scaling up on my account, because we're actually investing beyond what the max drawdown would allow us to do, but they're slowing me down enough to make it a calculated gamble, rather than a reckless one. I mean: we started with 2500. It would taken years to get anywhere if we didn't do a calculated gamble. You see, all my good systems have a drawdown of 10k, so we could only have traded the crappy ones. But the crappy ones are no good, because they trade rarely and they trade badly. We could have been going up and down for 2 years before being able to afford one of the best systems (GBL systems and ZN_ON_2).
Another 4 hours to go. Now I'll go back to work.
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