trendie
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there seems to be some interest in Spurs jokes, so .....
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Best Thread Joke of the day
- Thread starter Airthrey Capital
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Atilla
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Moneys too tight to mention...
This tune like a scratched record stuck on my mind today. Round and round. I thought I just google it and I found these prophetic words... Just change the name to Busheconomics no doubt representing the lecacy of the big bang during Ragean and Thatcher years.
How crazy is that????
Enjoy... :clap:
I been laid off from work my rent is due
My kids all need brand new shoes
So I went to the bank to see what they could do
They said son looks like bad luck got a hold on you
Moneys too tight to mention
I cant get an unemployment extension
Moneys too tight to mention
I went to my brother to see what he could do
He said brother Id like to help but Im unable to
So called on my father, father
Almighty father, he said
Moneys too tight to mention
Oh money money money money
Moneys too tight to mention
I cant even qualify for my pension
Were talking bout reaganomics
Oh lord down in the congress
Theyre passing all kinds of bills
From up there on capitol hill, weve tried it
Moneys too tight to mention
Oh money money money money
Moneys too tight to mention
Cutbacks!
Were talking bout the dollar bill
And that old man whos over the hill
Now what are we all to do
When moneys got a hold on you
Moneys too tight etc.
Were talking bout money money
Were talking bout money money
This tune like a scratched record stuck on my mind today. Round and round. I thought I just google it and I found these prophetic words... Just change the name to Busheconomics no doubt representing the lecacy of the big bang during Ragean and Thatcher years.
How crazy is that????
Enjoy... :clap:
I been laid off from work my rent is due
My kids all need brand new shoes
So I went to the bank to see what they could do
They said son looks like bad luck got a hold on you
Moneys too tight to mention
I cant get an unemployment extension
Moneys too tight to mention
I went to my brother to see what he could do
He said brother Id like to help but Im unable to
So called on my father, father
Almighty father, he said
Moneys too tight to mention
Oh money money money money
Moneys too tight to mention
I cant even qualify for my pension
Were talking bout reaganomics
Oh lord down in the congress
Theyre passing all kinds of bills
From up there on capitol hill, weve tried it
Moneys too tight to mention
Oh money money money money
Moneys too tight to mention
Cutbacks!
Were talking bout the dollar bill
And that old man whos over the hill
Now what are we all to do
When moneys got a hold on you
Moneys too tight etc.
Were talking bout money money
Were talking bout money money
Pat494
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Not much changes, even the great words ( copied from someone else's speech )
How the rest of us are such dummies to believe them defies logic.
When you finally see through the official and political bullsh1t one is too old to do anything about it except marvel at the absurdity of life
nine
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I was pulled over the other day for speeding. I say speeding, I was only doing 45 in a 40! This copper comes up to my window "Going a bit fast there weren't we sir"
"Well yes officer I'm in a bit of a rush"
"And what sort of rush allows you to break the speed limit "
"I'm late for work"
"And what job is so important that you can break the speed limit?"
"Well if you must know officer, I'm an a*rsehole stretcher!"
"You what?"
"An a*rsehole stretcher, see I get a patient and insert my fingers in, then i wiggle round a a bit so I can get my hand in, the I manipulate a bit more so I can get my other hand in. Then I pull apart the a*rsehole with my hands and fit my boots in, and then I stretch the a*rsehole until its as wide as my height from head to toe!"
"I don't understand sir, what would you then do with a 6 foot a*rsehole?"
"I suppose you'd put a helmet on it and give it a speed gun"
I didn't get away with it
"Well yes officer I'm in a bit of a rush"
"And what sort of rush allows you to break the speed limit "
"I'm late for work"
"And what job is so important that you can break the speed limit?"
"Well if you must know officer, I'm an a*rsehole stretcher!"
"You what?"
"An a*rsehole stretcher, see I get a patient and insert my fingers in, then i wiggle round a a bit so I can get my hand in, the I manipulate a bit more so I can get my other hand in. Then I pull apart the a*rsehole with my hands and fit my boots in, and then I stretch the a*rsehole until its as wide as my height from head to toe!"
"I don't understand sir, what would you then do with a 6 foot a*rsehole?"
"I suppose you'd put a helmet on it and give it a speed gun"
I didn't get away with it
I remember playing golf in India a few years back.
I was playing quite well and a crowd had gathered.
As I holed another putt,the crowd started shouting "Tiger!Woods!Tiger!Woods!"
I turned to acknowledge them but they'd gone,and that's when the f*ucking tiger came out of the woods.
I was playing quite well and a crowd had gathered.
As I holed another putt,the crowd started shouting "Tiger!Woods!Tiger!Woods!"
I turned to acknowledge them but they'd gone,and that's when the f*ucking tiger came out of the woods.
Atilla
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Riftvalley
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I thought I had it cracked last week, total plan to make billions!
If Oleg Deripaska can do it then we all can, except that Aluminium Magnets DON'T WORK!
If Oleg Deripaska can do it then we all can, except that Aluminium Magnets DON'T WORK!
A young woman had been taking golf lessons. She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.
Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain.
Her golf pro saw her come in to the clubhouse And asked, 'Why are you back in so early? What's wrong?'
'I was stung by a bee', she said.
''Where', he asked.
'Between the first and second hole', she replied.
He nodded knowingly and said, 'Then your stance is too wide.'
Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain.
Her golf pro saw her come in to the clubhouse And asked, 'Why are you back in so early? What's wrong?'
'I was stung by a bee', she said.
''Where', he asked.
'Between the first and second hole', she replied.
He nodded knowingly and said, 'Then your stance is too wide.'
Gumping
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Guy walks into a bar with a flamingo and a cat. They take seat and he goes up to the bar and buys a round. They drink them, and then a heated discussion ensues, with the cat ending the discussion with 'Well I ain't paying for it!'. The flamingo pulls a tenner out from between some feathers and hands it to the guy and he goes up to the bar and buys a round.
They finish this round, and another heated discussion begins. The cat ends up shouting, 'Say what you want, I AIN'T PAYIN'!!'
The guy then proceeds to go up to the bar and buys another round of drinks with his own money. At this point, curiosity has got the better of the bartender, so he asks the guy what the hell is going on. The guy responds, 'When I went to work this morning I found a lamp on the floor. I picked it up and gave it a rub to see if there was a genie inside it. Lo and behold, one appeared! He told me he'd grant me one wish.'
'So what did you ask for?' asked the bartender.
'I asked to go out with a bird with long legs and a tight p*ssy' he replied.
They finish this round, and another heated discussion begins. The cat ends up shouting, 'Say what you want, I AIN'T PAYIN'!!'
The guy then proceeds to go up to the bar and buys another round of drinks with his own money. At this point, curiosity has got the better of the bartender, so he asks the guy what the hell is going on. The guy responds, 'When I went to work this morning I found a lamp on the floor. I picked it up and gave it a rub to see if there was a genie inside it. Lo and behold, one appeared! He told me he'd grant me one wish.'
'So what did you ask for?' asked the bartender.
'I asked to go out with a bird with long legs and a tight p*ssy' he replied.
Pat494
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Talking of pubs ..........
A gorilla walks into a pub and orders a beer. The barman quaking in his boots hands it over and is pleasantly surprised when he gets paid. The gorilla downs the pint in one gulp and orders another. The barman thinks he will have a bit of fun so he charges double the regular price. The gorilla downs it in one gulp and orders another. The barman is now intrigued so to make polite conversation he says " we don't get many gorillas in here you know ".
"I'm not surprised says the gorilla, at the prices you charge !"
A gorilla walks into a pub and orders a beer. The barman quaking in his boots hands it over and is pleasantly surprised when he gets paid. The gorilla downs the pint in one gulp and orders another. The barman thinks he will have a bit of fun so he charges double the regular price. The gorilla downs it in one gulp and orders another. The barman is now intrigued so to make polite conversation he says " we don't get many gorillas in here you know ".
"I'm not surprised says the gorilla, at the prices you charge !"
