Best Thread Joke of the day
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Atilla
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superspurs
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dont you mean 4rsen4l
Pat494
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Pat494
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Gumping
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Adamus
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You guys are dragging this thread off-topic with non-humorous football chat.
Instead, consider these sobering observations from the fairer sex on marriage:
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am.
I married the wrong man."
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted" Next day
she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can
have mine."
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let
her keep him.
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?" Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."
A young son asked, "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied, "That happens
in every country, son."
Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was
until I got married, and by then, it was too late."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word
you say -- talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all.
First guy says, "My wife's an angel!" Second guy remarks, "You're lucky.
Mine's still alive."
A Woman's Prayer :
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man, to love and to
forgive him, and for Patience, for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death.
Instead, consider these sobering observations from the fairer sex on marriage:
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am.
I married the wrong man."
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted" Next day
she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can
have mine."
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let
her keep him.
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?" Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."
A young son asked, "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied, "That happens
in every country, son."
Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was
until I got married, and by then, it was too late."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word
you say -- talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all.
First guy says, "My wife's an angel!" Second guy remarks, "You're lucky.
Mine's still alive."
A Woman's Prayer :
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man, to love and to
forgive him, and for Patience, for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death.
Gumping
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Gumping
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Nice!
And similarly:
What has six legs and it's @r$ehole on it's back?
A Police horse :cheesy:
A minister went to another country and was invited to his counterpart's house, which was magnificent.
"My word", he said, "how can you afford a place like this?
The other minister said "Ah, you see that motorway over there?
"Yes"
"50% goes in my pocket"
Next year the the second minister visited the first one's house, which was even more magnificent and said, "My friend, how could you afford a house like this?
The first minister said to huis visitor, "Do you see that motorway over there?"
"There is no motorway"
The other winked. "100% goes in my pocket"
"My word", he said, "how can you afford a place like this?
The other minister said "Ah, you see that motorway over there?
"Yes"
"50% goes in my pocket"
Next year the the second minister visited the first one's house, which was even more magnificent and said, "My friend, how could you afford a house like this?
The first minister said to huis visitor, "Do you see that motorway over there?"
"There is no motorway"
The other winked. "100% goes in my pocket"
