Best Thread Joke of the day

Hey could be the bargain of the year !
The International Society of Sorcery and Black Magic have announced they are willing to execute Kim Jong Un of North Korea for crimes against humanity if the US and others pay them $2 billion. We await developments.

:devilish::devilish::devilish::devilish::devilish::devilish::devilish::devilish::devilish:
 
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For a few laughs, look no further than the names of English cities.

Crapstone, Devon
Penistone, South Yorkshire
Brown Willy, Cornwall
Pratts Bottom
Slackbottom

Devil's Dyke
Twatt, Orkney

Perhaps the British are not so prudish after all.
 
hhiusa said:
For a few laughs, look no further than the names of English cities.

Crapstone, Devon
Penistone, South Yorkshire
Brown Willy, Cornwall
Pratts Bottom
Slackbottom

Devil's Dyke
Twatt, Orkney

Perhaps the British are not so prudish after all.
Click to expand...

A lot of US cities are named after European ones with New stuck on the front e.g. New York etc. Some are just copied e.g. Washington . Many take the original Native name e.g. Milwaukee.
A few are descriptive e.g. Deadwood or the one I like - Dodge. Is it a warning to new arrivals ?
The list contains no cities. For instance Crapstone is a small village of a few hundred people.
 
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Paddy decides to take up boxing and goes for the required medical. A few days later the doctor ‘phones and says “Paddy, do you realise you’ve got “Sugar Diabetes..” Paddy says, “OK.. Nice one, when do I fight the boxer”?
 
Two boys go for a few pints of Guinness , after a few drinks , their rational brain is blocked.

SHAUN"If you and I were the last men on earth, I bet we could do it in public."
PATRICK"I'm an interior decorator. I can fill your interior with guiness ."
Shaun" Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you're making me hard."
 
FL has the quantity but I have yet to spot the humour. Maybe it just grows on yer like moss ?
 
It's kinda cold for this time of the year innit???

C6Uj6XJWcAAMCUh.jpg
 
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

:p
 
Pat494 said:
A lot of US cities are named after European ones with New stuck on the front e.g. New York etc. Some are just copied e.g. Washington . Many take the original Native name e.g. Milwaukee.
A few are descriptive e.g. Deadwood or the one I like - Dodge. Is it a warning to new arrivals ?
The list contains no cities. For instance Crapstone is a small village of a few hundred people.
Click to expand...
State the obvious. Well aware.

New York may be incredible dirty, but it is not a dirty name. Last I checked there was not a "New Brown Willy", USA, or New Crapstone. We do have Intercourse though. There should Gallstone and Kidneystone as well.
 
Totally gutted....just found out my local barber has been sent to prison for dealing drugs, ive been his best customer for 20yrs......


never had the first clue he was a barber.
 
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the

circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds? - Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case? - It made of concrete.

I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge? -

No, we have carport, and not need one.

I mean. What are your relations like? - All my relations still in Poland

Is there any infidelity in your marriage? - We have hi-fidelity stereo
and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up? - No, I always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger? - No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce? - She going to kill me.

What makes you think that? - I got proof.

What kind of proof? - She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover"
 
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