Best Thread Joke of the day

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.

My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange" I said: "no it doesn't"

What do you call a frenchman wearing sandals? Phillipe Phillope.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

hat do you call a dog that does magic tricks? A labracadabrador.

So what if I don't know what Armageddon means? It's not the end of the world.

How do you get two whales in a car? Start in England and drive west.

I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo.

Wife says to her programmer husband, "Go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, buy a dozen." Husband returns with 12 loaves of bread.

I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.

People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones. But people in Abu Dhabi do!

Guy walks into a bar and orders a fruit punch. Bartender says "Pal, if you want a punch you'll have to stand in line" Guy looks around, but there is no punch line.

I've been told I'm condescending. (that means I talk down to people)

Before your criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.
 
Last edited:
shii_0a9b2218675f84cbc85c0dacff2e7586.gif
 
foroom lluzers said:
6 posters are promoting trend trading on E T ,opening new threads , after being chopped out for 6 months and losing all their money looking for trends.

One is claiming to be trading two trends on S and P daily.

He has just been paid $35,000 by the sponsors to " sing trend trading is succesfull " like a broken record.
Click to expand...


Is that supposed to be funny? :rolleyes:

Of all the freaky threads on T2W you think it belongs here?

Am I the only one thinking your judgement has departed your good self and maybe you should run after it. ;)
 
foroom lluzers said:
when you have been in discussions with the persons in this group , you are aware they have lost a lot of money , they are being paid 30 cents a post as forum posters ,

but you are also aware S and P does not trend twice a day and he claims "I trade succesfully S and P trends twice daily and I am in the 5% club ,if 95 % fail"

You are also aware market chops 80% of the time .Every content message he posts ,confirms him as a forum's own or vendor's troll .He hangs around his likes in a group of ELITE trolls.

I don't know how to write this anywhere else but I think this funny ,when he is talking to a real trader with all this bs.The guy hiring him gets $35k a year.
Click to expand...


Who are the persons who have lost a lot of money?

Who is paying them 30 cents per/post? If that's the case then Sharky owes me a lot of 30 cents.

I'm not aware of what S and P is? I do have a friend called Trendie yes. :)

I don't understand what 80% chopping is all about.

I haven't heard anything funny yet and still in the dark as to what your punch line is?

Who is the real trader?


Others may find your posts funny but shouldn't you open one of your own threads adn simply post in there so I don't have to ignore all your posts and can read some of the more meaningful ones. :rolleyes:


(y)
 
that 80%/20% is based on dalies. dalies, or daisy's as i like to call them because they just sit in a field look pretty but do nothing & mean nothing as a measure for anything is long since gone ;)
 
Shaun is sitting in a pub waiting for his friends , his emotions are aroused and orders four large shots of Jamesons and one Guinness.

bidi the Barmaid asks where are your friends

They are coming in a few minutes

Bidi lines up shots and goes to get the Guinness.

When he comes back with the pint, all four shots are gone.

Shaun has gone to the toilet , he comes back and finishes the guiness in one swig

Bidi says: “Wow! You sure drank those fast.”

Shaun explains: "You would drink fast too if you had what I have.”

Bidi asks: “What do you have?”

Shaun reaches into his pocket and says: “Fifty cents!”
 
I don't think you are funny and your posts are spam all over the threads with no reference or context.

Placing you back on ignore and hope you can find your way around public forums.


(n)
 
Sister Margaret enters O’Flynn’s liquor store and orders a bottle of Irish whiskey. O’Flynn frowns and asks, “You’re a nun, why would you want a bottle of Irish whiskey?” Sister Margaret says, “It’s for Father Reilly. He’s got constipation.” O’Flynn nods and puts a bottle into a bag. Later that night, O’Flynn passes an alley and finds Sister Margaret drunk, the empty bottle at her side. O’Flynn yells, “You said it was for Father Reilly’s constipation!”
Sister Margaret responds, “It is. When he sees me, he’s gonna sh*t it!”
 
Shaun arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with
tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was
already homesick. "No," replied Shaun. "I've lost all me luggage!"

"How'd that happen?" "The cork fell out!" said Shaun
 
Patrick asks his friend shaun to pour a case of guinness on him when he goes to heaven , so he can enjoy eternal joy.

Shaun "But, might I strain it through me kidneys first ?"
 
The foreman goes to the yard and screams " my masa are full of black s=hit , the toilet is dirty"

Which one of you was out drinking last night ?

Patrick say "it was me , i went for some jamesons "

Shaun " I went for guinness but pat had his buttocks naked"

Foreman"So that explains it was Patrick , my trousers are full of guinness".
 
Last edited:
Shamus meets bridgette alias Biddy and marries her .Sahamus takes new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses, lies on the bed spread-eagled and says
"You know what I want, don't you?"
"Yeah," says Shamus. "The whole feckin' bed by the looks of it!"
 
Patrick and his wife are sitting at the table , the neighbours' dog is barking like mad .
Patrick goes to the garden and comes back
minutes later and his wife asks "What did you do?"
Patrick replies "I've put the dog in our garden. Let's see how they like it!"
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Z
Sweet Old Couple Sharing
Replies
5
Views
3K
ingot
I
F
Quick jokes
Replies
3
Views
2K
Splurge
S
5
Bedside Manners
Replies
1
Views
2K
roarson
R
Z
Back to Front
Replies
0
Views
1K
zsawevv212
Z
5
good jokes
Replies
15
Views
4K
Atilla
Atilla
Top