With due respect LL, I think somebody everybody is too nice to you and you need a good kicking.
Different people respond to different stimuli.
1. You do something because you believe it is right. Call it altruism or intelligence or what ever.
Not where money is involved
2. You do something because somebody tells you to. Call it order like the army or work
If I had a trading boss to enforce discipline, I'd be a better trader
3. You do something because there is a carrot in front of you. Call it work / reward
Money. Money. Money. And the intellectual challenge. This is why I trade.
4. You do something because there is a stick behind you. Call it fear or force.
Not really
Now which stimuli do you respond to best. How did your parents bring you up. These questions go deep into the psychie of a person and very difficult issues. Search deep. You may find you discover some dark forces or hidden gems.
Most likely I respond to reward more than orders - since I have nobody to enforce trading orders I just need to focus on the reward.
You may discover your real self and understand what will make you happy. I could go on but it's likely to be a journey of deep self discovery for you.
I think you need a bit of number 2 in my opinion. You are like a bad boy who will scratch away at a wound and not give it a chance to heal and thus make it worse. Leave it alone. Do as you are told. Do as your rule tells you. I'm sorry but BLOODY WELL STICK TO YOUR eFFING RULES.
I need to stick to the damn rules. I know this. Easier said than done. I pull a profit in too quick because a bad part of my mind shows me a huge loss on the screen and I need to remove the chance of that happening, so I cover.
With due respect. From a good friend.