my journal 3

[Yamato]

Perfect, concise explanation of new E.S.E.S.A. method with examples

OK.

Back at work.

The orangutan just came into the room, singing out loud, like an idiot, no specific tune. Sighing "oh god... oh god...". Aside from "good morning" we didn't say anything to each other. Now he left and went to look for action in someone else's room.

And he's restraining himself. He's showing me respect by not telling me whatever he has on his mind, which he does with most other people.

He's singing obnoxiously so he doesn't have to interrupt me from working (so to speak), which he regularly does with other people. Now he's whistling.

Gee. What an animal.

Anyway, here I am, with new advances in the now renamed ESESA theory.

Ready? Here it goes, new acronym of ESESA instead of ESESS because I want to describe the last phase of Action (to be stopped) rather than focusing on the idea that I have to Stop the Action:

Event
Sensation
Emotion
Symptom
Action

I would rather have a sequence that I can coherently define "the sequence of x situation" than a sequence which is (as it was) half one type of sequence (what happens in you) and the other half another type of sequence (what you should do).

One last remark. There is no definite threshold/border between symptom and action, and it is an arbitrary division between the two, based on the gravity. If I scratch my head, that is a "symptom", because it causes me no big damage, but just wasting time, but if I reply to my boss "go screw yourself" that is an "action", because it jeopardizes my future in a more serious way. In reality, they're both symptoms of emotions, and they're both also actions produced by our emotions.

So this new sequence can be basically defined as the chain of events that originates from an unpleasant event and ultimately leads you to an irrational action. It is a sequence of events which should be fought, avoided and prevented. And you should apply your efforts at every phase of the sequence. All phases except the first one can be efficiently aborted through relaxation techniques (mainly deep breathing and muscle relaxation).

ALL EMOTIONS COME FROM SENSATIONS
Emotions are all caused, in my opinion and from what I've understood so far, by sensations, anticipations of sensations or memories of sensations.

Of course a loud noise directly disturbs us and that is a direct link between sensation and emotion: 1) orangutan sings (he's quite loud), 2) the auditory sensation disturbs me, 3) I get frustrated because I cannot focus on my work.

But then, if when I see the orangutan, I feel fear, then this is not a direct link between sensation and emotion, since it arises from seeing someone who makes you feel acoustically (and physically) threatened, and therefore it is an emotion that arises via an anticipation (and memory) of the sensation of pain (physical or acoustical).

Some other examples. Happiness could arise from knowing that you'll screw some girl in the near future. Serenity can come from having lots of money in your bank account. I think that ultimately the root cause is sensation.

By the way, the orangutan and his noises are a perfect example.


Event
We could not stop the event. The orangutan is here and he's being himself, thereby producing acoustical disturbances...

Sensation
...He's making loud noises, I can't wear earplugs here, so the unpleasant sensations cannot be avoided and reach me...

Emotion
...the noises distract me from my work and I would feel a natural stress. Now I am trying through relaxation techniques and simple reasoning to stop the emotions (anger and frustration) that arise because someone is distracting me and keeping me from working (I was actually doing office work when he came in, and now I am doing intellectual work and he's still distracting me). I am trying to limit my emotions to those arising from the auditory stress, which cannot be avoided, rather than, as I used to do, add a whole burden of negative emotions stemming from the fact that I identify an injustice taking place (why do I have to be polite and he can be an animal? Why do I respect social rules while he doesn't?). But injustices are part of reality and I have to accept reality without fighting it or I'd waste time (except in the cases when I can fix reality).

Symptoms
As emotions will manifest themselves in my mind, my body will keep up and I will first feel tense muscles, especially around my eyes and the sides of my mouth -- usually this is the effect the orangutan noises have on me. I can try to control those, too, again via relaxation techniques, and, by doing so, from what I've read, I am also reducing/cancelling the emotions that caused the symptoms (that link I gave you days ago said that if your body is relaxed, your mind follows suit).

Actions
Should the symptoms continue or get worse, I will know that I am not in control of my reasoning, and therefore I should abort all further actions or it won't be reasoned action, but influenced by emotions. E.g.: yelling something at him or giving him a dirty look. No good, because I know the best course of action is to completely ignore him, don't talk to him, give him short answers and look relaxed but also look as busy as possible.

 

[Yamato]

Just one day before the invasion of Poland...

...on 31 August 1939, a German false flag attack took place in Gleiwitz...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gliwice

View attachment 180064

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gleiwitz_incident


... which was part of a larger operation, called "Operation Himmler":
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Himmler


Of course this reminds me of 911, as usual.

The reason I am talking about this now is that I just came across the article reporting what Hitler said to the Wehrmacht on the first day of the war...

View attachment 180062

In the top part of the central column, right at the end of the part I highlighted, it reports that Hitler said to the Wehrmacht:

"Eine Reihe von für ein Großmacht unerträglichen Grenzverletzungen..."

This means "A series of border violations (TN: false flag attacks organized by the Germans themselves), unbearable for a great power, proves that the Poles are no longer willing to respect the borders of the German Empire".

Reminds you of anything? 911, of course. Sounds just like Bush talking to Americans after 911, "catapulting the propaganda".

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gleiwitz_incident#Context


You see, in the end he wasn't the victor, so all this came out, at the Nuremberg Trials (Alfred Naujocks confessed it), but he was right, because the USA and Bush, still being the victors right now, aren't being asked if they told the truth, except by us "conspiracy theorists" nimrods of course (and by a few others, who were promptly suicided or had strange car/plane accidents).

You see, right now the Western world is allied with a country, which is more or less like Nazi Germany in world war 2. Only, it doesn't realize it, because propaganda blinds us and the media serve the corporate and national interests. Or maybe the nation, too, serves the corporations. Anyway, what are we doing? Nothing. We're in Nazi Germany and we are saying and doing nothing. See, all this demonization of hitler for what?

WHOEVER HAS THE POWER HAS A TENDENCY TO ABUSE IT...
The world hasn't changed. Whoever has power, has a tendency to abuse it, whether in world politics (Hitler then, Bush today), at home with his family members (my father) or at the office (the orangutan who abuses us with his jungle sounds all day long, our bosses who expect subservience). Another thing that hasn't changed is that the winner is always right, and the loser is always wrong. Simply because:
1) the loser won't be around to speak for himself
2) the winner will have a louder voice
3) the people, to not admit they're yielding to strength rather than right, prefer to convince themselves that the winner is right, in order not to have to fight him - they unconsciously do so

...AND WHOEVER IS ABUSED HAS A TENDENCY TO JUSTIFY IT, IN ORDER TO SUGARCOAT HIS LIFE
It happens even at my office. If the orangutan yawns loudly, talks loudly, sings, whistles, no one ever says anything. Instead, people complained to me because I was explaining for just half an hour to a new colleague how to do her work (something which none of my lazy colleagues didn't volunteer to do). The orangutan can make unnecessary noise, and people put up with it, because they feel threatened (but they won't admit it). I can't make necessary noise, because I don't make them feel threatened. But they don't even realize this.

BUT IF WE LET GO OF MISTAKEN EXPECTATIONS, AND SEE REALITY, WE DON'T HAVE TO SUGARCOAT OUR LIFE ANYMORE
You know, because I am a regular person, like them, but the orangutan is an orangutan and special rules apply to him. Well, you know what I do instead? I put up with his being an animal, too, but I keep my score on my notebook, and, to the surprise of everyone, if I get invited to a coffee break (or lunch break) where the orangutan goes to, then I don't go. I don't get along with orangutans. If he'll ask me, I'll tell him "if you start respecting us, and not behave like a gorilla, then I'll come have a coffee break with you". This is what I mean by being rational. I don't have to hate him, and I don't have to fight him, but I also don't have to pretend that what he does is OK, like the others do. No sugarcoating of reality around me. If he disrespects me, he disrespects me. If I can't defend myself, too bad. I won't defend myself. But I will not make my reality better and more acceptable by pretending that what he does is OK. I am putting up with an abuse, that's all. As I said, I don't have to always win. I am losing. But I am not forgetting where the truth lies in order to diminish any sense of being wronged and abused, sense which will not be there in the first place, once I assess the world in terms of reality, rather than emotions and mistaken expectations of justice. Only when you let go of your mistaken expectations, you can start seeing reality, and assessing the best reactions to it. If you don't let go of them, you will camouflage reality and pretend that what the orangutan does is OK.

Among the many examples of his behaving like an animal is the fact that whenever he comes to work, and he feels like talking, he just starts talking to his neighbor, regardless of what the guy is doing, working, studying... anything. He uses him as an audience. I consider one great achievement that when he comes to work and sees me working or captivated by something (which is all the time, even when I am instead writing the journal), he keeps singing, but quietly, and doesn't bother me. Great achievement, because I achieved it with just being serious and giving him serious short answers, but never had to tell him "stop doing this", or "I don't want to talk to you".

As a summary of all this reasoning: if you live a life of emotions and expectations that these emotions won't be disappointed, you will have to constantly disguise reality (cf. my post on hope and denial, two posts ago) in order to avoid the endless suffering it brings to you, but you will lose time and efficiency in dealing with reality. If you instead eliminate both emotions and false expectations, then you will just have to deal with reality as it is, and your action will be much more effective. You basically skip this harmful translation of reality into one that accommodates your emotions.

Anyway, two movies were made on the Gleiwitz false flag attacks.

One german...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gleiwitz_Case

...which can be seen on vimeo.com...
http://vimeo.com/103318905


...and one polish:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operacja_Himmler_(film)

On this post, quoted above and linked just here below, just two days ago...
http://www.trade2win.com/boards/trading-journals/140032-my-journal-3-post2405784.html

... I was telling you about the German false flag attack that took place in Gleiwitz, on 31 August 1939. I did so, because I came across pages of my newspaper mentioning such incidents.

Well, here's more, and a pretty big article telling all these lies to Germans (in this case Austrians). It is absolutely fascinating to read this today, while I know how it all really went.

Another fascinating thing is that, right at the start of this article full of lies, these guys made a sentence that is 10 lines long and I will now attempt to translate it. It's the longest German sentence I have ever found so far.

First I will translate this crazy sentence literally, and then I will re-arrange it.



Ok, here it goes...

But it needs a soundtrack to be played as we read it. This is the perfect soundtrack for such a long sentence, since the sentence actually has more words than the entire song:

Translation before rearranging it:

The announcement by the Fuhrer in today's Reichstag session, that last night by the Poles fourteen heavy attacks, border violations and abuses of ethnic Germans were committed, shows once more that simply unbearable Macedonian conditions are threatening to take root on the German East border, which in Europe may have no home and must be absolutely eradicated.

Ok, let's rearrange this crap and change some words here and there:

The announcement by the Fuhrer in today's Reichstag session, that last night fourteen heavy attacks, border violations and abuses of ethnic Germans were committed by the Poles shows once more that a simply unbearable balkanization is threatening to take root on the German East border, which in Europe cannot be allowed to exist and must absolutely be eradicated.

So, yeah, these lies are simply disgusting (cf. previous post, link provided above, to learn about the 14 false flag attacks, part of Operation Himmler), although I am reading this to learn about history and to learn German. But it still disgusts me to find out what a bunch of liars these guys were. And to see it so clearly.

The whole remainder of the article describes the invented violence of the bestial Poles against the ethnic Germans. More or less like the US "war on terror" propaganda after the US-made 911. The Nazi attack on Poland is very much like the US attack on Iraq and Afghanistan. And people bought it. After Nuremberg, after all the history books... after all this, people bought and supported a situation just like that of Nazi Germany. Not just Americans but also Europeans.

...

Well, to tell you the truth we can't blame the Germans for having these long sentences because we all have them, too, in Italian, French, Spanish, English, so the only problem I find with them is that they have the famous structure... what is it called again... Subject Object Verb, rather than our Subject Verb Object structure.

I love cakes.
Io amo le torte.
Same in French and Spanish, and I suppose Portuguese, too.

So it's only German that does this. What about...? Well, in Europe Dutch, too, of the big languages. Although Dutch is not as widespread as German of course. Probably 10 millions, vs the 100 millions of German. Actually on wikipedia they say it has "23 million" native speakers. Must be from Belgium and the former colonies. Oh, no, I just checked and I mistakenly thought the Dutch were 10 millions, but instead they are 17 millions. That's why. Wow, pretty big population.

So, I am screwed, I find to jump right away to the end of these long sentences and try to understand what they are saying. I wonder how you can do this when someone is speaking to you.

You should be wondering the whole time he's speaking: "what kind of verb is he going to use?", because that is what makes the difference.

I think we could say that German is a very inefficient language. A stupid language for a country with intelligent people. The structures is stupid. The declensions are stupid. The conjugations are stupid. I don't see anything good about it.

Yeah, because English instead, simple as it is, does it have any misunderstandings because of its simplicity? I don't think so. So why am I wasting time learning German? Because it's hard and useless and no one here wants to learn it, so I feel I am better than them. To me it is something that boosts my morale, especially given that my trading goes so badly, and it's been going badly for countless years, since when I do well, I immediately blow out my account, for the known reasons.

So why am I not studying Japanese even? Because that would show the bluff. I am not that good or determined. I am just determined enough to learn something that will allow me to feel better than the average colleague. Not that I will tell them anyway, because by now I have understood that it is useless to talk to these people. The optimal attitude with such people is silence.

Besides, I am learning German because I am interested in Hitler, given that we are so close, in so many aspects of our character. Besides all the things I've listed in the past, points in common and such, there is the fact that we see things in black and white and we're extremists. Also, I would like to eliminate many people around me, but instead of the minorities as he did, I would like to eliminate the majorities.

That's why I was into doomsaying and apocalypse predictions for a few years. I was hoping for an imminent collapse or something worse, to eliminate 95% of all people on earth. When there's earthquakes or big storms, things that people don't like, then I rejoice, because it bothers them.

Anyway, back to that 10-line sentence.

Having translated it, and so well, means a lot to me. It means that, since I know from reading a whole newspaper that they won't get any longer, I will not have any problems going further. The hardest part is behind me.

I can do crosswords puzzles.
I can read the newspapers.

The problem is still speed but it will come. Now I still need the dictionary so speed is impossible, because I don't know enough words to understand all sentences spoken in movies, TV, songs and radio, and especially recordings of Hitler and the other Nazi leaders, which is the reason I first got interested in German.

I still want to get to the point of understanding everything these guys were saying, to understand how Nazism could happen. I already know the answer anyway. To summarize it, today the people are just the same people. And even worse (look at the recent Tutsi massacres in Rwanda, look at the massacres in former Yugoslavia). It's the leaders who have changed. The leaders are better. If we had a new Hitler, people would be ready to do the same things, or allow them to happen in their name. Every morning I hear colleagues say how much they dislike immigrants, and how sick old people would be better off dead. Every day i hear something to this extent. These are my colleagues. No better than the Germans of the 1930s. The leaders don't let this happen. That's all. The leaders are better today.

And let's not forget that while the US was criticizing Germans for being against Jews, they were still treating the blacks like animals. So, racism is definitely not something limited to the Germans.

 

[Yamato]

nice, just 40 minutes and it tells the evolution of submarines across 3 centuries:

Best documentary on submarines I have ever seen.

 

[Yamato]

without sensory stress there should be no emotional stress

Here's today's new advances in my ESESA methodology.

My theory is that there should be no emotional stress without sensory stress. And I am not saying that there isn't, but that there should not be. That we should stop it.

Here's a practical example of what sensory stress is:
http://health.ninemsn.com.au/family...7146/sensory-stress-the-modern-day-affliction

Olfactory stress
You react strongly to new smells.

Audio stress
Noisy vehicles and sirens put you on edge.

Visual stress
You are irritated by bright lights and sunlight.

Tactile stress
You avoid wearing certain fabrics because the texture irritates you.

So you understand now how this other situation corresponds to none of the above:



So, as previously stated, my contention is that we should not have any emotional stress that doesn't directly arise from sensory stress. A gun pointed at you doesn't cause any sensory stress, but you still have a tendency to feel emotions (e.g.: fear), due to the anticipation of sensory stress. However, these emotions should be fought and eliminated, because emotions do not lead to rational thinking.

Here's my outline of the "gun pointed at you" situation:



We should not only fight emotions that do not arise from sensations, but all emotions which hamper our rational thinking and decision-making.

If there is no decision-making involved, and we're just watching a movie, maybe, just "maybe", it might be safe to allow ourselves to experience any emotion.

However, what I specifically wanted to say in this post is that, whereas a loud noise will cause us sensory stress and emotional stress, without such a sensory stress, being emotionally stressed makes even less sense. Having said this, most emotions harm our decision-making so they should be avoided, whether deriving from sensory stress or from anticipation or memory of sensory stress (memory of sensory stress would be if we meet someone who has beaten us up, which will probably cause some emotions, even if he weren't a present threat).

One last remark. As I said yesterday, even sensory stress will often cause 2 different forms of emotional stress. The orangutan singing will cause me:

1) acoustical stress, which will cause me emotional stress
2) emotional stress: the feeling of injustice, because I have to put up with such abuse when I instead behave politely and never bother other colleagues.

Neither should cause me any emotional stress, but the second type of "moral stress" could be avoided by merely accepting the reality that the world is not composed of people like me, who have had the same upbringing as me. Once I accept this fact, I will no longer feel anger/stress from meeting rude people.

I am still struggling with both types of emotional stress, and with accepting rude people as a part of reality.

 

[Yamato]

Google Ngram search of "genius" and "television"

Google Ngram searches...

I find this chart amusing although of course I can't draw the inferences that the chart would suggest at first sight:
https://books.google.com/ngrams/gra...direct_url=t1;,genius;,c0;.t1;,television;,c0



Check it out, at the end, as instances of "television" in books start to decline, instances of "genius" start rising again. It would seem like a perfect inverse correlation. Instead, it is probably just a coincidence.

https://books.google.com/ngrams/info

When you enter phrases into the Google Books Ngram Viewer, it displays a graph showing how those phrases have occurred in a corpus of books (e.g., "British English", "English Fiction", "French") over the selected years.

 

[Yamato]

I have to note this, no matter how quickly.

The ESESA emotional control method, and the mental conditioning that preceded it, is paying off incredibly well at work, I mean at the office.

People are being educated by me.

If they want to joke around and waste my time, I pretend i have no sense of humor. If they ask questions and work with me, I show infinite patience. People are extremely pleased with my infinite patience.

I have turned the new colleague from a fool, who was joking all the time, with a constant smile on his face, into a person who works seriously.

It is quite amazing. In less than 3 weeks.

Also, I have another colleague who is doing the same thing. If this guy jokes around, we ignore him.

He has had no choice but to become serious.

Furthermore, I sometimes ask him questions to which he provides valuable answers, so I am reinforcing his new attitude.

As far as my improvements, my anger and stress are almost completely gone. I think that in the last 10 days, I must emitted none of those short, deep, exhaling sighs (which in Italy we call "sbuffare" but I could find no translation -- huffing, puffing, panting, snorting... which one is it?), nor uttered any swears.

Today I even went as far as implementing my deep breathing techniques while someone was talking to me, because I realized that I wasn't relaxed enough. And it worked. Instead of looking worried because I had many other things to do, I managed to look relaxed, because, I figured, since I have to listen to this guy anyway, why not look relaxed? I know this might have some down sides, such as people taking advantage of it and talking for even longer, but this guy comes to talk to me like he did today, only once every 2 months. So I didn't need to discourage him from doing it.

I still constantly wrinkle my forehead when the orangutan makes his noises. I'll try to avoid this, too, in the future. It is a matter of principle: I must accept that reality doesn't fit my ideal world, without anger, which is a waste of time in two ways: 1) it makes no sense in its origins (think about it, being angry at the orangutan is as if I were angry because some animals are more deadly than others), and 2) it makes no sense in its consequences (getting angry won't mean that I'll go up to him and make him stop -- no one ever tried anything like that).

Even at home I am training myself by keeping the obnoxious TV on, while I am working on German or right now as I write. It is even more annoying than the orangutan. The exercise is to keep working without looking at it, no matter how much the ads try to get my attention, and without wrinkling my forehead. Nor showing other symptoms of annoyance. Even with the TV the emotional frustration could stem from two types of frustration:
1) acoustical sensory annoyance
2) mental intolerance against the content of the noise -- the stupidity of television (especially ads) has always angered me and the exercise is to limit my annoyance to the sensory stress part, and not allow my values to trigger any extra emotional stress.

Recapitulating:
1) emotional stress from sensory stress, which is more understandable but can be nonetheless quenched
2) emotional stress from my interpretation of the message expressed by the annoying sounds and my intolerance towards such message.

This second part goes back to my life and the fact that I've always kept everything under control, developing into a "control freak". It is what made me blow out my account because I would not accept losses, and it is the first thing I need to work on.

It would already be a great achievement if I managed to limit my emotional stress to that arising from the sensory stress.

This achievement will be reached when the neighbor lady who slams her door, whose sound is equivalent to a sonic boom, will bother me just as much as the airplane producing that sonic boom. Which is close to nothing.

 

[Yamato]

the objective of the chart game is not to win but to learn to lose

Getting back to the chart game, which I am playing right now...

http://chartgame.com/play.cgi?3hfh68

...the objective of playing it is not to win, but rather to lose and learn to not have an emotional reaction when you lose.

When you do that, and learn to not be afraid, ashamed, angry about losing, then you are ready to learn how to make money, because your judgment will then be freed from those harmful influences, and will be able to objectively assess the markets.

That is why, although the chart game reflects the market very much, it is almost irrelevant what you're losing at. What is most important is that you lose, lose, lose (while nonetheless still trying your best). As traders, we need a lot of practice with losing, more than we would have ever imagined. Because if a bricklayer makes a mistake in laying one brick, his judgment won't cause him to destroy the house, no matter how mad he gets, but if it happens to us, and we get angry about one bad trade, then we could definitely blow out our account. I've done it many times, just because of one trade that went wrong.

We should seize all the "losing opportunities" (funny concept, huh?) we encounter in life as practice to train us to not react emotionally to losing. Including practicing with mosquito bites: let us learn to not be bothered by them or any other type of losing. Because 1) it's useless and harmful, and because 2) our expectation to always win and always have things our way was flawed.

 

[Yamato]

Many tests today to my ESESA discipline, almost all failed.

1) Boss came told me to hurry up with some forms we had to send. I lost my temper and told her that it was this other guy who was slowing me down, because he's a slacker (this last part I didn't say). No a big fight, but I definitely failed all phases of ESESA: E) I didn't avoid the Event, S) Sensation wasn't even there, E) Emotions were triggered by some sort of subconscious linking of the event of being told to hurry up with some other sensation (anticipated and/or remembered), S) all the usual Symptoms were there for sure (changes in breathing, voice, face, etc.) and I didn't attempt to control them, and A) being controlled by emotions, I made the bad decision to emotionally react by blaming my other colleague and venting out my frustration about being, as usual, the only hard-working person in the entire office, who gets bothered and told to hurry, while all the slackers are left alone.

2) Bearded colleague gave me his usual hateful stare when I left the bank in my usual taxi. I think what bothers him is that I leave several hours before him and I go home in a taxi instead of taking the subway. This is understandable. Still, after the argument with my boss, it bothered me.

3) I came home and, right after I got off the cab, some dude with his dogs told me something. I don't know what he said, but it must have been the stuff the usual rude Romans say. These animals just insult people for the hell of it, even without standing to gain anything from it, even if they're all alone to face your reaction. Random gratuitous insults, even from one to one. So I don't know what he said, but it still bothered me.

So, OK, I failed.

But the very lesson I learned from my ESESA and the previous analyses of my personality is that now I should not give everything up just because my behavior and implementation of my theory hasn't been perfect.

I used to want everything perfect or want to throw everything away, just like I did with my account, after the BUND trade went wrong. After that, it was either revenge or blowing it out: double or nothing.

Now I am different. I am learning to accept defeats and losses. And I have benefited too much from this knowledge to throw this methodology away, just because I failed to apply it today.

Instead I am allowing myself as many mistakes in applying this methodology, because I knew from the start that it'd be hard and because I've successfully solved the other related problem I had: being a control freak, displaying "maladaptive perfectionism", of wanting everything perfect immediately. Which is why, by the way, I was upset by the boss telling me to hurry up, so maybe it is not completely behind me. And we could say that it still affects me emotionally to see that I fail or am attacked by people.

Well, anyway, let's keep working, because this is the right direction. I somewhat failed today, but it is OK to fail, there's nothing to be ashamed about. Mistakes and losing are OK.

 

[Yamato]

That's it. I have identified a new problem which wasn't clear to me until now.

After that discussion we had (a few months ago) on ATM transactions statistics, which I've been working on for years, and she destroyed with her stupid contradictory requests that wore me out, I have been thinking she's an idiot and she's been thinking I am an idiot.

What bothered me today about my boss wasn't really what she said to me (to hurry up with some work I was doing), but how she said it to me. She treats me like an idiot and she considers me an idiot.

This retarded bitch, that's why I am so mad...

This retard is so stupid that she doesn't realize she's the stupid one and the arguments we had and we keep having are because she doesn't understand the issues at stake. Each and every time she's too stupid to understand that if I ask extra questions, it is because she needs to specify more information and not useless details or repeat what she has already said.

Besides, this stupid bitch keeps instructing me -- talking to me as if I were an idiot -- to do things that she has never done and will never do. I mean, if you cannot do the things you ask me to do, how can I turn out to be the stupid one?

Man, this retard drives me mad...

However, let's not forget my ESESA. This is a perfect exercise.

I have a problem, that bothers me, but it's not related to any sensory input: no noise, smell, light, touch will hurt me. There will be no immediate consequences to her treating me like an idiot.

So why am I getting mad? Why am I getting so mad?

Because I can't stand someone to have opinions other than mine, which are the right ones, all the time (we all think this way, more or less).

This is all wrong. I mean, I could be right about everything, but it makes no sense to expect the world to agree with me.

So I must use all my relaxation techniques to not have any emotions from interactions with this retard.

Then, I can act rationally. I can even have her killed by the mafia. Whatever. I can do anything that rationally makes sense.

But not out of anger. Not because of any emotions she has caused in me.

I must seize this as a great opportunity to train myself.

 

[Yamato]

Music and emotions aroused by it are OK: no need use my ESESA method to disable those emotions. I like this music by Chopin.

It's what made me decide to keep watching this movie, that uses it as a soundtrack at the beginning:
http://kinoger.com/main/1102-paris-um-jeden-preis-2013.html

It might even help me with ESESA. This specific song, or Nocturne as they call it. Definitely relaxing.

All the nocturnes here:

 

[Yamato]

I am done with that German newspaper I was reading, the... Welt Blatt - I read all its (propaganda) pages on the political/war situation (with Poland):
http://anno.onb.ac.at/cgi-content/anno?aid=nwb&datum=19390902&zoom=33

Now I am reading the same day's issue from another Wien's newspaper, the Kleine Blatt:
http://anno.onb.ac.at/cgi-content/anno?aid=dkb&datum=19390902&zoom=33

I've already almost finished the first page:



I was going to read the next day of the first newspaper, but I figured that first it might be worthwhile to compare these two newspapers on the same day, before moving on with the first and main newspaper I am focusing on (Welt Blatt).

What differences am I noticing so far, besides those that I had pointed out in a previous post?

As I had written, the price is different:

One last aspect to remark: the price on the date of 30 July 1943.

10 Rpf (Reichspfennig) for the Welt Blatt, 4 pages.
6 Rpf (Reichspfennig) for the Kleine Blatt, 8 pages.

A huge difference in the cost to the readers, in the money they paid per page. 2.5 Rpf for the Welt Blatt vs. 0.75 Rpf for the Kleine Blatt. More than 3 times as much.

4 years earlier, on September the 2nd, 1939, they had the same price, and more or less the same ratio of pages. Well, that changed because of the cost of paper. Welt Blatt went from the 12 pages at the beginning of the war to 4 pages. And Kleine Blatt went from 16 to 8.

I noticed the section on politics of the Welt is only 4 pages out of the 12 pages (September 2nd, 1939), whereas the Kleine has as many as 11 pages on pure politics out of the 16 pages of the same date. Huge difference, once again, 33% vs 69%.

If we calculate the cost to the readers based on the pages dedicated to politics, the most important ones, it goes like this:
Welt Blatt: 10 Rpf / 4 = 2.5 Rpf per political page
Kleine Blatt: 6 Rpf / 11 = 0.55 Rpf per political page

Politics are the first pages in both newspapers, and, with this ratio of 1 to 5 in costs to the readers, I wonder what this implies in the quality of those who write them.

I wonder what this means and if it's related to economies of scale, as for example would be the case if the Kleine Blatt sold so many copies that it could afford quality at a low price or if this means that the Kleine Blatt is garbage. I will find out as I finish reading the Kleine Blatt. I still have 10 pages to go.

So, both newspapers are pure propaganda newspapers, but they're not exactly identical.

The price is different, and definitely the readers must have been different. Since no one was forced to buy any newspapers.

For now, I have also noticed shorter sentences in the Kleine Blatt, and the worse quality of paper it's printed on. Some of the letters are not even readable (rarely, but it is never the case on the Welt Blatt).

Very important: I noticed exclamation marks in several places of the Kleine Blatt, but nowhere on the Welt Blatt.

Since the Welt Blatt has half as many pages and costs twice as much, has longer and more complex sentences, and no exclamation marks, I am starting to hypothesize that it was for people with a lower education and income, more "popular" so to speak. I don't have any information on their circulation unfortunately. However, my guess is that the more popular newspaper had a wider circulation.

I will probably be able to gauge something more by checking the different advertisements they have.

Not enough ads to really analyze this properly. I will need more time for this.

Whatever my judgment on these two newspaper, I will keep reading whichever one is easier to read. The faster I read, the more likely I am to keep making progress, so I can't afford to go for the hardest newspaper right now. I need my next step in learning German to be as steep as I can handle, not any steeper, or I risk quitting.



Also, with steep steps, if you fall, you're dead.

---

Back on the newspaper. I have to say that so far I am pleased with the Kleine Blatt:
1) shorter sentences, which is what I need
2) they have on page 2, a great excerpt of Hitler's speech to the Reichstag, totally missing from the Welt Blatt. Maybe they even have the entire speech (which is quite long), but I could not verify it yet.

Yeah, they have the whole speech. Amazing. 3 full pages with his entire speech. It lasts 35 minutes and you can listen to it here:
https://archive.org/details/AdolfHitlerReichstagsredeMitKriegserklrungAnPolenVom01.09.1939

 

[Yamato]

Excellent movie from Quebec, streaming (in German):
http://kinoger.com/main/1009-gabrielle-keine-ganz-normale-liebe-2013.html

Wow, considering they're only 8 millions, they make pretty good movies:
https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gabrielle_(film,_2013)

I must have seen already 10 of them, all excellent.

Two clips from the movie:

The two protagonists:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gabrielle_Marion-Rivard
https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexandre_Landry

Not the regular Tom Cruise crap, huh? It's a movie worth watching.

Good! Finally a reasonable score from Rotten Tomatoes, 95%:
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/gabrielle_2013/?search=gabrielle

Writer-director Louise Archambault uses a free and easy camera style and mosaic-like editing to suggest how intensely Gabrielle responds to elements of everyday life.

As a thought-provoking valentine to tolerance, acceptance and the yearning for love, Gabrielle wears its heart comfortably, and proudly, on its sleeve.

The film drags when some scenes run long. Its sentiment is appealing, though, and its sincerity doesn't cloy.

This kinoger.com website of streaming German movies is selecting very good movies. One more reason I am glad I started learning German. It's a language that stimulates your intelligence.

A few songs from Robert Charlebois in Gabrielle, all very nice:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Charlebois

 

[Yamato]

I am done with that German newspaper I was reading, the... Welt Blatt - I read all its (propaganda) pages on the political/war situation (with Poland):
http://anno.onb.ac.at/cgi-content/anno?aid=nwb&datum=19390902&zoom=33

Now I am reading the same day's issue from another Wien's newspaper, the Kleine Blatt:
http://anno.onb.ac.at/cgi-content/anno?aid=dkb&datum=19390902&zoom=33

I've already almost finished the first page:

View attachment 180338

I was going to read the next day of the first newspaper, but I figured that first it might be worthwhile to compare these two newspapers on the same day, before moving on with the first and main newspaper I am focusing on (Welt Blatt).

What differences am I noticing so far, besides those that I had pointed out in a previous post?

As I had written, the price is different:

A huge difference in the cost to the readers, in the money they paid per page. 2.5 Rpf for the Welt Blatt vs. 0.75 Rpf for the Kleine Blatt. More than 3 times as much.

4 years earlier, on September the 2nd, 1939, they had the same price, and more or less the same ratio of pages. Well, that changed because of the cost of paper. Welt Blatt went from the 12 pages at the beginning of the war to 4 pages. And Kleine Blatt went from 16 to 8.

I noticed the section on politics of the Welt is only 4 pages out of the 12 pages (September 2nd, 1939), whereas the Kleine has as many as 11 pages on pure politics out of the 16 pages of the same date. Huge difference, once again, 33% vs 69%.

If we calculate the cost to the readers based on the pages dedicated to politics, the most important ones, it goes like this:
Welt Blatt: 10 Rpf / 4 = 2.5 Rpf per political page
Kleine Blatt: 6 Rpf / 11 = 0.55 Rpf per political page

Politics are the first pages in both newspapers, and, with this ratio of 1 to 5 in costs to the readers, I wonder what this implies in the quality of those who write them.

I wonder what this means and if it's related to economies of scale, as for example would be the case if the Kleine Blatt sold so many copies that it could afford quality at a low price or if this means that the Kleine Blatt is garbage. I will find out as I finish reading the Kleine Blatt. I still have 10 pages to go.

So, both newspapers are pure propaganda newspapers, but they're not exactly identical.

The price is different, and definitely the readers must have been different. Since no one was forced to buy any newspapers.

For now, I have also noticed shorter sentences in the Kleine Blatt, and the worse quality of paper it's printed on. Some of the letters are not even readable (rarely, but it is never the case on the Welt Blatt).

Very important: I noticed exclamation marks in several places of the Kleine Blatt, but nowhere on the Welt Blatt.

Since the Welt Blatt has half as many pages and costs twice as much, has longer and more complex sentences, and no exclamation marks, I am starting to hypothesize that it was for people with a lower education and income, more "popular" so to speak. I don't have any information on their circulation unfortunately. However, my guess is that the more popular newspaper had a wider circulation.

I will probably be able to gauge something more by checking the different advertisements they have.

Not enough ads to really analyze this properly. I will need more time for this.

Whatever my judgment on these two newspaper, I will keep reading whichever one is easier to read. The faster I read, the more likely I am to keep making progress, so I can't afford to go for the hardest newspaper right now. I need my next step in learning German to be as steep as I can handle, not any steeper, or I risk quitting.

View attachment 180340

Also, with steep steps, if you fall, you're dead.

---

Back on the newspaper. I have to say that so far I am pleased with the Kleine Blatt:
1) shorter sentences, which is what I need
2) they have on page 2, a great excerpt of Hitler's speech to the Reichstag, totally missing from the Welt Blatt. Maybe they even have the entire speech (which is quite long), but I could not verify it yet.

Yeah, they have the whole speech. Amazing. 3 full pages with his entire speech. It lasts 35 minutes and you can listen to it here:
https://archive.org/details/AdolfHitlerReichstagsredeMitKriegserklrungAnPolenVom01.09.1939

Bingo!

I think I found the circulation, on page 2 of both newspapers, "durchschnittsauflage":

Welt Blatt:
http://anno.onb.ac.at/cgi-content/anno?aid=nwb&datum=19390902&seite=2&zoom=33



Kleine Blatt:
http://anno.onb.ac.at/cgi-content/anno?aid=dkb&datum=19390902&seite=2&zoom=33



So, just as I had thought, the Kleine Blatt sells 20 times more newspapers than the Welt Blatt, and therefore it has economies of scale. They can offer more at a lower price.

I might want to read the Kleine Blatt from now on, rather than the Welt Blatt, as I had initially set out to do.

Here's the complete circulation list of the Austrian newspapers from September 2nd, 1939, limited to the ones I had analyzed to identify the best one, that I would be reading:

Kleine Blatt, 197.000
Wiener neueste Nachrichten, 60.000
Volks-Zeitung, 32.000
Tages-Post, 26.000
Welt Blatt, 10.000
BregenzerVorarlberger Tagblatt, 9.000
Neue Warte am Inn, 6.000
Badener Zeitung, 2.300

The data is in all newspapers but one (the Badener Zeitung) on page 2, bottom right.

I had selected the Kleine Blatt for various reasons (see previous posts), but I didn't know that it would be the most sold one. Then I had preferred the Welt Blatt over the Kleine Blatt (which I kept in second place), and had no idea that it would only have a circulation of 10.000. But that explains many things.

 

[Yamato]

good movie but still I can't understand most of it, due to how much they speak in it and how fast:
http://kinoger.com/main/1139-high-performance-2014.html

Nice song, played a few times within the movie:

Although I got to a point where I understand enough of these movies to enjoy watching them. So from now on, it will all be downhill.

 

[Yamato]

Wow, this is really too much. I have to quote this:
http://anno.onb.ac.at/cgi-content/anno?aid=dkb&datum=19390902&seite=2&zoom=33



This is much worse than George W. Bush, for once.

Hitler said to the Reichstag on September 1st, 1939:
"Germany has fulfilled these obligations! The minorities who live in the German Empire are not persecuted."

Then he brings the example of the French in the Saar and says that you will not find one French who will be able to say that he is being persecuted in any way.

Pretty interesting. How could Hitler in 1939 say in the Reichstag that minorities in Germany weren't persecuted?

This of course is a big lie, suffice it to mention the Jews.

However, this tells us something very important. Either of these things or a combination thereof:
1) After years of propaganda, the Jews were not considered a minority, but equated to criminals
2) Hitler could lie to any extent, without fearing any criticism, within Germany

I guess the Germans had been brainwashed so effectively and for so long (6 years of brainwashing since they seized power in 1933), that hearing something like this, or reading his speech in German newspapers, would not have caused any scandal. I guess there weren't that many freethinkers back then.

This is very interesting, because it reminds me of the office. At the office, for a while I was considered a genius. Now I am considered maybe an idiot, or maybe I am imagining both.

At any rate, as I said a few posts ago, my boss, after we had that argument about the credit card transactions (where she screwed up all my work, and didn't realize that I wasn't flexible because there were economies of scale thrown away by changing the whole process), now considers me an idiot. Maybe like an idiot savant or something like that. She cannot conceive that she was the stupid one. There was a discrepancy, so big between us, that either of us had to be an idiot. I came out of the meeting thinking she was an idiot, and she did just the opposite. That's when I suffered that mental breakdown, so to speak, that left me a little ****ed up. She was asking of me something impossible: change everything, columns, time frame, mix two different data sources together... and take as much time as you were taking before.

At any rate, that retard now thinks I am an idiot, and having a boss who thinks you're an idiot has some repercussions, because now she talks to me as if she were talking to an idiot, and people see that, so now all those who thought I was a genius (without judging for themselves), being the stupid sheep that they are, will now start thinking that maybe I am not that smart. This is related to the sheepish nature of people, and just like they took anything from Hitler up to 1945, when he became the devil, now at the office people, after having thought for years that I was a genius, will start thinking I am an idiot, despite the fact that they call me all the time to solve their problems. They'll think "he's an idiot, who's good at solving these little computer problems".

Given that these people are so stupid, their only way of judging me is by seeing what others do, and my rank at the office, which is bottom. Since I am the bottom, and now the boss thinks I am stupid (despite the fact that she asks me to solve her problems, too), then I will officially be "stupid". I guess I should be OK with it, because it would go against my new ESESA methodology to get mad about it (I would just harm myself by getting mad about it). Getting mad about reality is what blew out my account, so I am now fighting against all such emotions.

So, to sum it all up, how could the same people who thought I was a genius now think that I am an idiot? And how could the same people who thought Hitler was a god then think that he was the devil?
Simple: they were not thinking with their own head, but with the head of the majority, of conformism, of adapting to the general thinking, to the majority thinking. Whatever the majority thinks will be my own conviction.

This is just like thinking that since the press and now even history books say that Osama Bin Laden did 911, then that must be the case. The same ridiculous consequence we see on the (fake) Moon Landings and on JFK being assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald.

And this of course also meant 600 years ago that "everyone" knew that the earth was flat. And if you disagreed, best case scenario you got called a "conspiracy theorist".

You know, the famous "everyone knows that..." sentence. Such sentence is so widespread precisely because people move in herds like sheep, and if "everyone does something..." that makes it the right thing to do. And so "everyone knows that..." is a synonym for "the truth is that...". Whereas I know that "everyone knows that..." usually means "let's investigate this potential falsehood...".

Remember Michael Jackson, too? For 20 years, he was an immortal genius for everyone, until, overnight, he became a pedophile. Even before the trial, 90% of people went from thinking that he was a genius to thinking that he was a pedophile. That means that only 10% of people really was capable of assessing him with his own mind, and the rest relied, for his opinion, on the public image of Michael Jackson. Which mostly translates to what the mass media says.

Indeed this is why famous people sometimes kill themselves after being accused of something. Because they thought they were liked by everyone, and now all of a sudden they lose all their popularity, precisely because that 90% of sheep change their minds just like that, simply based on what the majority thinks. Their only conviction (subconscious one) is to stay with the majority.

 

[Yamato]

Ilse Werner - So wirds nie wieder sein

Wow, wow... I finally got down to it and figured out all the exact words in this beautiful song, with its best version sung by Ilse Werner (the others aren't nearly as good):

http://www.coverinfo.de/start.php?w...bemerkung=&suchoption=xsearch&seite=1&xpert=0
Authors: Gerhard Winkler (music) / Bruno Balz (lyrics)

Wenn mir dein Mund nun tausend Schwüre aufschwörst => ERROR: it is "aufschwört" (cf.end of this post)
wenn Du auch klagst und weinst.
Was heute geschah, hat unsere Liebe zerstört,
nie wird es mehr wie einst.

So wird es nie wieder sein.
Bei Kerzenlicht und Wein,
bei süßen Träumerein. => ERROR: it is "Träumereien" (cf.end of this post)
Beim wandern durch die Felder,
irgendwo im Sonnenschein.
Wie herrlich das war.

So wird es nie wieder sein.
Bei zarten Melodien,
beim Feuer am Kamin.
Wir fühlten unsere Herzen
wie im heißen Fieber glühen.
Wie herrlich das war.

Nur keine tragischen Szenen,
und nur keine Klagen und Tränen.
Wenn wir uns auch quälen und sehnen,
denn so ein Glück kommt nie zurück.

Ach, so wird es nie wieder sein.
Wie einst beim ersten du,
beim ersten Rendezvous,
im Buch der großen Liebe schlug => ERROR "im Buch" should be "dem Buch"
der Wind die Seiten zu.
Siehst du wie ich lache, nimm auch
du es nicht so schwer!
Ich dank dir so sehr!

...

Siehst du wie ich lache, nimm auch
du es nicht so schwer!
Ich dank dir so sehr!

---

The problem with the lyrics was that I found them online, but they were quite wrong:
http://www.lyrics.com/so-wirds-nie-wieder-sein-lyrics-ilse-werner.html

Then I heard the other versions and that helped me correct the text:

Rudi Schuricke, German.

Ernst van’t Hoff, Dutch.

Then I also found this Hungarian web site, which has the lyrics almost completely correct:
http://kulfoldi.zeneszoveg.hu/dalsz...icke/so-wirds-nie-wieder-sein-zeneszoveg.html
http://mkulfoldi.zeneszoveg.hu/m_da...icke/so-wirds-nie-wieder-sein-zeneszoveg.html

We were so lucky that Ilse Werner sang this, because the song wasn't that good in its other versions. The whistling is awesome (that, too, by Ilse Werner).

Now I have to translate it.

You know this is probably the most beautiful German song of the 1940s, and why is not famous? Because they lost the war. It is from 1941, and when they were writing it, the Germans were attacking Russia.

Right, not the same Germans. But I guess somehow... the fact that some Germans were slaughtering millions affected also the worldwide popularity of what other Germans were doing (writing songs).

Can you imagine, while they were doing all that they were doing, especially to the Jews and to the Russians (they killed more Russians than Jews), this beautiful girl (19 years old) was singing, so well, this beautiful song. Can we blame her for anything that was going on in Germany back then? Should she have fled the country? If we can't blame her, then can we blame anyone else for living a regular life while her countrymen were slaughtering millions of people? I don't know. The song is beautiful though. This beautiful girl was both an actress and a singer, like almost all the singers of the time. Here's a clip from a 1942 movie she was in, "Wir machen Musik":

An interesting thing is how they write the title itself: "so wird's nie wieder sein" (which for clarity I always change to "wird es"). This means "so it will never be again" (more or less), or rather "so it'll never be again", or literally "so it'll never again be", or even more literally "so will't never again be". You get my point. Whereas you English speakers abbreviate "it will" to "it'll", they do the opposite and abbreviate "es wird" to "wird's". So that the verb remains intact, and what gets shortened is the... personal pronoun "es" ("it").

So, now I am going to translate that song. Then later I will memorize it. So I can finally sing my first German song (besides the Stormtrooper marches).

It's hard. I will try.

Wenn mir dein Mund nun tausend Schwüre aufschwörst
wenn Du auch klagst und weinst...

Whenever your mouth now... so hard! Yeah, because it seems... well, first of all, google translate is unable to translate, too.

"Dein Mund" should be the subject, but "aufschwörst" is the second person singular. So she doesn't sing "when/if your mouth swears to me a thousand oaths", nor does she sing "when/if you swear to me a thousand oaths", so I am going to give up right here, because I cannot proceed. I will translate the rest on my own, but it's too poor to post it here.

... no, wait!

There is no doubt that she sings "aufschwört". And that is then correct, although the verb almost never existed at all:
https://books.google.com/ngrams/gra...thing=3&share=&direct_url=t1;,aufschwören;,c0

And especially that is what this guy sings at minute 00:25 seconds, he clearly sings "aufschwört":

So, ok, back to translating of it:

When now your mouth swears to me a thousand oaths,
even if you wail and cry,
what happened today has destroyed our love,
it will never be the same again.

Wow, this is so good so far that I can almost hear the music as I read my translation. Same words, same length, not exactly same syllables but close enough. And almost a literal translation.

...
Damn, just found another mistake in the lyrics. It is not "Träumerein" but "Träumereien".

So here goes another verse:

So it will never be again.
With candlelight and wine,
with sweet reveries,
with walks in the country,
somewhere in the sunshine.
how beautiful it was.

A big problem of translating this into any language is that I still don't understand if she means that she's breaking up with him or that he broker her heart and she won't trust him ever again, but still stay with him. It seems to me that she's breaking up. So I have a hard time translating it with "it will never be the same again", which would be correct if she stayed with him. But I don't find an equivalent to "you will never be 30 again" or something like that. "our love is over" is what she means. I can't translate it as "it won't happen again", because it sounds like she's saying "I won't steal the cookies again". Let's leave it "literal" as "it will never be again" (cf. last verse above).

3 more verses tomorrow afternoon. From now on it is all downhill.

...

One last remark before going to bed. In the meanwhile, while translating, I've been thinking about a couple of my girlfriends. As soon as they realized that I was crazier than them, or maybe better at manipulating them, they decided to break up with me.

So how did they do it? They couldn't just say (who does?) "I decided that I want to break up with you". So, much like the girl in the song, who hypothetically wrote the lyrics (but it's a man of course and who knows where he got the idea), here's what they do, or rather here's what they did to me.

1) they escalate the conflict
2) you end up doing something wrong, such as slapping them back if they slap you
3) then they say "things can no longer be the same between us, after what you did, so I have to leave you, but no hard feelings".

This reminds me the "ich dank dir so sehr". "I thank you so much... for the beautiful moments between us".

So now the girl, after causing the incident, by escalating the conflict, pretends to be good-hearted and to forgive you and even thank you for everything beautiful between you two, while instead she is manipulating the situation and trying to make you overlook the fact that she's breaking up with you and that she should be the one apologizing, rather than being the one who says "Look, not only do I forgive you, but I even thank you, because I am so generous and good-hearted".

So this is the song of a girl who... it should be in fact titled, which in German could come down to just one long word, "the song of the girl who had decided to break up with you, provoked the incident that she now uses as an excuse for breaking up, and even pretends that she has a great heart, forgives you and thanks you for the years together". Or "The song of the girl who decides to break up with you, finds a way to blame it on you, and who even pretend to have a great heart, by thanking you for the good years together".

That's exactly what she did. She started to argue, so I argued back. She started yelling, so I yelled back. Then she slapped me, and so I slapped her. Then, within the next 24 hours, she thanked me for the good years together, and said she was leaving me because after I had slapped her, things could never be the same again.

Yeah, sure, "Ich dank dir so sehr".

The usual false flag situation... well, not properly a false flag, but a similar provocation, started by someone who then pretends to have been attacked. You know what I mean. You provoke the incident, so you can start the war that you wanted to start from the beginning.

Beautiful song about a worthless girl.

I believe prostitutes are more reliable than women. Women are dishonest and unreliable. Prostitutes deliver for a lower price. And you can rely on them. Women, girlfriends and wives, like banks, offer you the umbrella when it's sunny, and take it back when it's raining.

OK, tomorrow I'll finish translating it, so I can memorize it and sing it.

----

Ok, back from work. I will now proceed to translate the rest of my favorite song. In the next post. Because after almost 24 hours it is risky, as this is about to expire and I won't be able to edit any longer.

 

[Yamato]

Continuing from previous post and translating my favorite song.

Here's what I already translated:

Wenn mir dein Mund nun tausend Schwüre aufschwört
wenn Du auch klagst und weinst.
Was heute geschah, hat unsere Liebe zerstört,
nie wird es mehr wie einst.

So wird es nie wieder sein.
Bei Kerzenlicht und Wein,
bei süßen Träumereien.
Beim wandern durch die Felder,
irgendwo im Sonnenschein.
Wie herrlich das war.

When now your mouth swears to me a thousand oaths,
even if you wail and cry,
what happened today has destroyed our love,
it will never be the same again.

So it will never be again.
With candlelight and wine,
with sweet reveries,
with walks in the country,
somewhere in the sunshine.
how beautiful it was.

Here's what I still have left to translate:

So wird es nie wieder sein.
Bei zarten Melodien,
beim Feuer am Kamin.
Wir fühlten unsere Herzen
wie im heißen Fieber glühen.
Wie herrlich das war.

Nur keine tragischen Szenen,
und nur keine Klagen und Tränen.
Wenn wir uns auch quälen und sehnen,
denn so ein Glück kommt nie zurück.

Ach, so wird es nie wieder sein.
Wie einst beim ersten du,
beim ersten Rendezvous,
dem Buch der großen Liebe schlug
der Wind die Seiten zu.
Siehst du wie ich lache, nimm auch
du es nicht so schwer!
Ich dank dir so sehr!

Here goes my translation:

So it will never be again.
With tender melodies,
by the fireplace.
We felt our hearts
burn with hot fever.
How beautiful it was.

Just please no tragic scenes,
and no sobbing or tears.
Even if we torture ourselves and crave,
such happiness never comes back.

As I translate, I keep remembering, as I said in my previous post, my girlfriends, who, in a few instances, broke up with me in just such a way. And I feel like telling this girl, this beautiful girl singing this song, that she's a whore, and it's easy for her to take it so lightly. Ilse, baby. Listen to me.
Yeah, sure, baby, it's easy for you to say to not suffer, since you're the one breaking up with me. You're the one torturing me, because you mention the good time we had together and then say that it cannot be repeated. You're a damn whore, that's what you are.

The proof that this girl is a whore breaking up with me by making up excuses is that she is not suffering and tells me that it's OK. That I am the cause and she breaks up with me, but it's OK, and she's not mad. How big of her...

Oh, well, so it will never be again.
Wie einst beim ersten du,
on our first date,
the wind shut the pages
to the book of the great love.
You see how I am laughing, so you, too,
don't take it so hard!
I thank you so much!

See, she's laughing, so this tells you what the situation is. She's breaking up with you, by making up excuses. And she pretends she forgives you, she even thanks you, when instead you should be asking for apologies, and getting mad.

In fact, this girl, by remembering all these nice things now that she's breaking up with you, is intentionally hurting you, maybe to get back at you or maybe because she doesn't mean to break up. Or then again, maybe she wants to get back at you, while also breaking up with you.

Last hardest part to translate is this: "Wie einst beim ersten du".

I am looking it up everywhere because I can't figure it out.

"Wie einst..." is "Like once...", "Like the way it used to be...", "Like we used to...".

Hardest part left is "beim ersten du".

Ok, I will attempt it: "Like once, the first time you..." and then it continues: "on our first date...".

But then it doesn't make much sense because it concludes that the wind shut the book's pages. This is the only part I can't really figure out. But I still will be able to sing the song.

Here's the original:

Wenn mir dein Mund nun tausend Schwüre aufschwört
wenn Du auch klagst und weinst.
Was heute geschah, hat unsere Liebe zerstört,
nie wird es mehr wie einst.

So wird es nie wieder sein.
Bei Kerzenlicht und Wein,
bei süßen Träumereien.
Beim wandern durch die Felder,
irgendwo im Sonnenschein.
Wie herrlich das war.

So wird es nie wieder sein.
Bei zarten Melodien,
beim Feuer am Kamin.
Wir fühlten unsere Herzen
wie im heißen Fieber glühen.
Wie herrlich das war.

Nur keine tragischen Szenen,
und nur keine Klagen und Tränen.
Wenn wir uns auch quälen und sehnen,
denn so ein Glück kommt nie zurück.

Ach, so wird es nie wieder sein.
Wie einst beim ersten du,
beim ersten Rendezvous,
dem Buch der großen Liebe schlug
der Wind die Seiten zu.
Siehst du wie ich lache, nimm auch
du es nicht so schwer!
Ich dank dir so sehr!

My translation:

When now your mouth swears to me a thousand oaths,
even if you wail and cry,
what happened today has destroyed our love,
it will never be the same again.

So it will never be again.
With candlelight and wine,
with sweet reveries,
with walks in the country,
somewhere in the sunshine.
how beautiful it was.

So it will never be again.
With tender melodies,
by the fireplace.
We felt our hearts
burn with hot fever.
How beautiful it was.

Just please no tragic scenes,
and no sobbing or tears.
Even if we torture ourselves and crave,
such happiness never comes back.

Oh, well, so it will never be again.
Like once, the first time you,
on our first date,
the wind shut the pages
to the book of the great love.
You see how I am laughing, so you, too,
don't take it so hard!
I thank you so much!

The real meaning, the real translation of a girl saying these things is the following:

I am tired of staying with you, because I am bored, because you don't have enough money for me, so, despite all the promises I made to you, I have escalated our conflicts so that you'd get mad, and I could find a reason in your behavior to leave you and make it look like it was your fault. On top of it all, I will now pretend that I have big heart and that I am not mad at you, that I forgive you, when instead you should be mad at me for all the years you wasted on someone as selfish as I am. That is the bitch that I am, but I won't even admit it to myself.

Despite this being the song about a bitch, the music, the arrangement, the verses, the singing and the whistling are all perfect. I just wish they had written a more reasonable and honest song.

 

[Yamato]

Regarding that song, I am not done yet. I know you're all thinking that I am obsessing with it, but this is not the case. I am just a methodical precise person, which is not a common thing, I know. When I do something, I must do it well and in depth. Because it makes sense to do so, not because I feel the irrepressible urge to do so.

So, yesterday, I felt the song was too fast, although perfect as I said, and so I did some experiments with this excellent free software called Audacity. I came up with 2 pretty appealing versions (not hard since the original version is so appealing).

I can't attach the full versions because although it says the limit for mp3 is 5 megabytes or so, well, it is not. It is probably 1 megabyte. So I will be attaching small excerpts.

Child-like singing, by modifying the "pitch":
View attachment child.mp3

Slow version, by modifying the "tempo":
View attachment slow.mp3

The slow version is particularly useful in learning the lyrics, because this song is otherwise way too fast to keep up with it. This will take days of practice, before I can master it in all its aspects. Intonation and pronunciation.

A hard part is when she switches from singing to just talking. She does it quite a bit. For example, in the first verse, she's talking.

OK, perfect. I was able to upload something a bit larger than 1 megabyte. This is the perfect clip for practicing. I got rid of all the whistling, too. It is just 15% slower:
View attachment 15_pct_SLOWER_GOOD_CLIP.mp3

The original version is so fast that this modified version doesn't even seem slowed down.

One last remark before moving on to a new subject. This hypothetical girl singing the song (not the singer), is a bitch, and here's the final proof:

Siehst du wie ich lache, nimm auch
du es nicht so schwer!
Ich dank dir so sehr!

She leaves him with an excuse, and this is the end of the song and end of the story, she proves it is just an excuse: by laughing.

What we gather from the rest of the song is this:
I leave you because you broke my heart, but... (Translator's Note, obviously)

Translation of last 3 lines:

See how I am laughing, so, you, too, don't take it so hard!
I thank you so much!

Yeah, you ****ing bitch! That's easy for you to say: you're the one breaking up with me!

Now, this song was written by a man:
https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruno_Balz

Oh, OK, I just read his biography and he was homosexual. So I guess he was thinking like a woman, wasn't he.

So he's justifying the women who act like this. I was wondering: what kind of a man would write a song who justifies these sluts for breaking up with you and saying "hey, I am breaking up with you but I am laughing, so don't be so angry...".

Hey, of course, I am just kidding for the sake of joking. I have nothing against homosexuals. As I said before, I am for minorities and against majorities.

 

[Yamato]

OK, one last analysis of this song, with colors separating the parts where she sings from where she talks. It's funny because I was wondering: what is really the difference between talking and singing? There is really a fine line, because we have musical notes while we talk as well. Furthermore, she talks in a way that the difference is almost imperceptible and she switches very often. It's tricky, but I'll take the challenge.

I will mark in red the parts where she talks.

One more remark.

She doesn't sing "süßen Träumereien" but instead "süße Träumerei". Yet I will still write the plural version of it, for I am convinced it's her mistake, for the following reasons:

1) "Bei" takes the dative case, "Träumerei" is a feminine noun. So, we would need to decline the adjective in the strong declension (there is no article) dative feminine, and that is "süßer", yet she doesn't sing it. Cf. duden.de:
http://www.duden.de/rechtschreibung/suesz
"süßer"
She sings "süße Träumerei".

2) all rhymes make us opt for "süßen Träumereien", because that is the ending of 3 other lines in the same 6-lines verse (or whatever the technical terms are).

3) last but not least: all other singers sing "süßen Träumereien"

Ok, here goes my analysis:

Wenn mir dein Mund nun tausend Schwüre aufschwört
wenn Du auch klagst und weinst.
Was heute geschah, hat unsere Liebe zerstört,
nie wird es mehr wie einst.

So wird es nie wieder sein.
Bei Kerzenlicht und Wein,
bei süßen Träumereien.
Beim wandern durch die Felder,
irgendwo im Sonnenschein.
Wie herrlich das war.

So wird es nie wieder sein.
Bei zarten Melodien,
beim Feuer am Kamin.
Wir fühlten unsere Herzen
wie im heißen Fieber glühen.
Wie herrlich das war.

Nur keine tragischen Szenen,
und nur keine Klagen und Tränen.
Wenn wir uns auch quälen und sehnen,
denn so ein Glück kommt nie zurück.

Ach, so wird es nie wieder sein.
Wie einst beim ersten du,
beim ersten Rendezvous,
dem Buch der großen Liebe schlug
der Wind die Seiten zu.
Siehst du wie ich lache, nimm auch
du es nicht so schwer!
Ich dank dir so sehr!

(whistling)

Siehst du wie ich lache, nimm auch
du es nicht so schwer!
Ich dank dir so sehr!

Gee, I can't remember another song where someone switched between talking and singing as many as 8 times! This is being an excellent exercise for my German, for my singing, and for my focusing on listening.

Hey, look, she does it a lot, this alternating between singing and talking:

It's crazy, trying to keep up with her. She sings fast and changes all the time. Much easier to follow when she sings than when she talks.

Another interesting related clip: she was an early TV star, in the early 1940s:

This was one fascinating clip, on the early years of German television.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ilse_Werner

Ilse Werner (née Ilse Charlotte Still, 11 July 1921 – 8 August 2005) was a Dutch-German actress and singer.

She was born in Batavia (present-day Jakarta) to a Dutch father, merchant and plantation owner, and a German mother. Werner was a Dutch citizen by birth; although she had her greatest successes in Germany, mainly during the time of the Third Reich, she did not assume German citizenship until 1955.

 

[Yamato]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Diomede

During the Cold War, the section of the border between the USA and the Soviet Union separating Big and Little Diomede became known as the "Ice Curtain". In 1987, however, Lynne Cox swam from Little Diomede to Big Diomede (approx. 2.2 miles (3.5 km)) and was congratulated jointly by Mikhail Gorbachev and Ronald Reagan.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Diomede_Island