my journal 2

[Yamato]

a family always looking for excuses to suffer and to hurt

My father is the champion at finding virtues worth fighting for, suffering for, and especially making people suffer for: punctuality, orderliness, respect, culture, intelligence, and many more. My father has busted my balls all his life about being totally honest and orderly and then I find out that he's not half as honest and orderly as I am, so I suspect it was just an excuse to bother me, which he's done relentlessly with many other types of excuses. Basically an asshole of a father, that's what I've had.

My mother is always busy giving to others and saving, and showing the other cheek, to the point of putting herself in trouble in many ways, financially mainly. For example: she kept the old house rented for 3 years because she saw as a sin giving or throwing away the thousands of books that would not fit in the new house. She always says how you should not throw away anything, food or clothes, and similar (glass bottles, jam bottles, etc.). Eventually she still gave those books away away to a library, but only after having wasted dozens of thousands of euros in rent. The same applies to many other ways of saving that end up costing her more than she saves. Getting fat by eating all leftovers for example.

I am trying to be neither, but I inherited some of this sadism and masochism. Or whatever it is.

I will write more on this when I get back from work, but many social problems and especially problems in my family and our minds consist of doing just that: finding a virtue and suffering or hurting for it. With my mom it is more about self-sacrifice. With my dad it is more about fighting (mainly with words but also in other ways) against disorderly people, stupid people... and many more types of people. He's been on a crusade his whole life. First of all against his own family.

 

[Adamus]

Re: a family always looking for excuses to suffer and to hurt

The killer awoke before dawn, he put his boots on
He took a face from the ancient gallery
And he walked on down the hall
He went into the room where his sister lived, and...then he
Paid a visit to his brother, and then he
He walked on down the hall, and
And he came to a door...and he looked inside
Father, yes son, I want to kill you
Mother...I want to...**** you

.

 

[Yamato]

I don't mean to insult your song, but the only song I like by these guys is this one:

 

[Yamato]

crazy ****er

This is even worse than tightrope walking:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcV7E60r9eU


What is the point of this crap? Getting famous because you're risking your life for no reason. Moron.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alain_robert

In some way this applies to all competition in sports. Unless we're just talking about a spelling competition or aiming at a paper basket at the office. I just want to make some money to be able to retire from this crazy competing world.

 

[Yamato]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XpDMxyFakY&NR=1

 

[Yamato]

weekly update

There's four guys screaming for justice and asking to be included in trading (circled in red). Not enough capital yet to trade them. Only 16 are allowed to trade right now.




Here's the equity line of the systems traded with real money:




It's undeniable at this point that my server-running friend was right when he said that the systems have some correlation to SP500 and EUR/USD.



Basically, uptrend of the SP/EUR is fine, range is fine, but if those two guys go down at the same time, then it's bad news for my systems most of the time. Which is still pretty good, because I said "most of the time" and because they both have to go down at once. Have you wondered why? As usual, I will repeat it again, it's because many of my systems go only LONG on many futures that are positively correlated with EUR/USD and with SP500 (or systems that go only LONG precisely on those futures).

And though you don't believe that they do
They do come true, for did my dreams
Come true when I looked at you...

I am not overjoyed yet, but almost. I will be when the systems traded will not be 16 but 25, and the profit will not be 13k but 25k. Hopefully bigger things will start happening at the end of next month, if, as I hope and expect, profit will be above 20k.

 

[Yamato]

done with new 30th system

I am done with the creation of the 30th system, all in just 2 weeks. I brought my total from 74 systems to the present 104, all thanks to economies of scale:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Economies_of_scale

I think I have about another 10 systems to go, which will take me until the end of next weekend. Then the creative part will be done and I will have to automate all the new systems. That is the heaviest work, but it is simpler because i know exactly what i have to do. That'll take another month.

Now I'll watch this "Defendor" movie:
http://www.putlocker.com/file/30583BV2FM6804SK

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arthur_Fiedler

 

[Yamato]

Everything is coming together, except me, who is falling apart. I mean, all my efforts are putting together all these decades of work.

 

[Yamato]

fuel

Awesome documentary by this Tickell genius:
http://stagevu.com/video/kraggbuzfaxr
http://stagevu.com/video/lzmiztujhjqw

 

[sighthound]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-z5N1UDhx4o&feature=player_detailpage

 

[Yamato]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ne5bKbW4rxg

...WITH A LITTLE PUSH, WE COULD SET IT OFF, WE CAN SEND IT ROCKETING SKYWARDS.

 

[Yamato]

 

[Yamato]

 

[Yamato]

 

[Yamato]

110 systems created. I still have to do one run of all systems on copper, and might come up with 5 more systems at the most.

So far, 36 new systems were created in the last 3 weeks. Economies of scale. Now i am building the nets. I work like in an assembly line, except i am the same workman moving from station to station:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assembly_line

This station is called "creation" and it means back-testing systems on tradestation. The previous station could be called "planning" and it consisted of finding new liquid futures to build systems on. It ended with the choice of SI, HG, NQ. The next station is called "automation" and it means automating on excel the profitable systems created on tradestation.

I will now watch this movie:
http://www.putlocker.com/file/42K502H9H4KKWKWG

Damn, that movie is excellent. It's the usual understated unknown masterpiece. I am starting to think that overall there's more quality in unknown movies than in famous ones. The big productions try to please the crowds and as a consequence the scripts suffer from it, because they've got to make them simple enough to be appreciated by everyone and as a consequence they're pathetic. As a consequence, all big stars tend to star in crappy movies, due to this catch 22 situation: big stars have big salaries, big salaries require big crowds, big crowds only like stupid movies (the common denominator decreases as the crowd increases), and so big stars act in bad movies, as a rule. Art doesn't go together with fame, also in other fields, for many reasons. I have endless examples for this: take de niro and pacino. At the start they made great movies, accepted low salaries, and because of that they became big stars. Then, after becoming stars, their salaries required them to star in blocbusters. But one thing is a blockbuster that becomes one because of quality, and another thing is a blockbuster that has to be a blockbuster to pay for its costs. The first one achieves success because of quality, whereas the second one achieves success because of deception: big advertising campaign, big publicity, and the star itself guaranteeing a good movie (which usually is not the case). But the problem here is that the script becomes unoriginal, because it cannot take any chances - if the movies is original it will not appeal to big audiences. So we have seen all the commercial crap by de niro and pacino: heat, ronin, etcetera. This is the rule - of course, there's exceptions. And if we see how the two best actors can act in crappy movies, imagine what happens to those that have never been good actors but just stars: tom cruise, nicole kidman, etcetera. These guys starred in crappy movies from the first to the last one of their movies.

 

[Yamato]

Before resuming my work on the systems - today I will finish my job at the "creation station" - I need to talk a little bit. To vent out some anxiety.

Present anxieties (except self-censored ones):

1) is there going to be enough capital to trade all these systems I am creating? will they give me the capital I need?

2) nothing else.

Now profit is at 13k. There's no reason it should not rise to 20k by the end of May. Even if it rises just to 18k, I will be able to negotiate from that position a better capital situation. This concern keeps popping up in my mind, especially when I am creating new systems. However, if things are as good as I say, with the 16 systems we're trading, capital will grow, and that will put me in the perfect position to negotiate an increase in capital invested. In other words, I should keep quiet and not think about this issue until we reach 18k.

Now I will move on to testing all the systems on the last remaining symbol, HG, which is copper. This is the easiest part, because I've already created several HG systems along the way, when they were being created for the other metal, Silver.

I will play some music as I test these last few systems. Hopefully I will bring the systems to about 115, and I will be all done within 3 hours. You know, it's not the pale moon that excites me, that thrills and delights me. Oh, no. You know what it is? It's just the nearness of you. And you know something? It isn't your sweet conversation that brings this sensation. Oh, no. It's just the nearness of you, once again. When you're in my arms, and I feel you so close to me, all my wildest dreams come true. I could tell you more, but let's stop here for now.

 

[Yamato]

Can you believe I kept tradestation open for the last 48 hours? Yeah, because it's got a bug and if I turn it off I risk turning it back on to see the bug reappear. Right now it wasn't showing. I never figured out (I even documented my research on this journal) what the bug was from. Sometimes it's there and sometimes it isn't. The consequence of the bug is that I cannot save tradestation excel reports, when it happens. It's this thing:
http://www.purebytes.com/archives/omega/2001/msg05024.html

Anyway now I am turning the laptop off, because ahead of me is an entire week at the office.

Just one more hour to go, and then I'll have to try falling asleep.

In the last few weeks I've watched dozens of movies and created dozens of systems while watching those movies sometimes. I'd run those long optimizations and resume the movie, and viceversa.

Right now I am at a total of 111 systems. The final total will probably not exceed 115. I am tired. Probably this is going to pay off very soon. Out of all these systems there's got to be at least 50 of them that are worth being traded. I am looking forward to being able to trade all those 50 good systems within six months at the most. Of course an increase in capital invested will be needed, which is presently my biggest concern.

What is ahead of me, besides the usual day at the office?

About five more systems to create for HG, and a total of about 40 to test on it (quite quickly). This can be done within the end of next week.

Then, I am looking forward to a week of profit. Lately, we have had a major drawdown three weeks ago (4000), then recovered most of it already: 1000 two weeks ago, and 2000 last week. Now we have another 1000 to go and we'll surpass the previous equity peak. I look forward to that, and count on it happening this week. Then we're on to reaching 20k of profit, to be reached by the end of the month.

I still have my sore throat from taking cold showers - no hot water here at the moment. But it's getting better. Tomorrow I'll take the usual bath with the help of pots.

All in all, I think I can survive another week of this hybernated crappy life.

 

[Yamato]

While the water is heating up in the pots, I can write a few lines.

Going to work in a few minutes. I slept at least 8 hours. Today I feel rested and therefore I might finish the HG systems and the "creation" phase.

At work we'll have that bull**** called "ACE", which is those two guys who came from outside with the task of making us more efficient. They're both total idiots and they're just wasting our time. This is going to be the painful part of the day: listening to them. I won't pretend I appreciate them, because I have already told them plenty of times that I think they're useless and that they came to the wrong office. There's practically the whole bank around us going on coffee breaks all day long, and they came to the one office that works all the time and intensely.

Then I have other self-censored concerns, too, as usual.

Ok, now I am going. I will be back in a few hours to work on the HG systems.

 

[Yamato]

Ok, I came back home. As expected, the "ACE" team made me suffer with their stupid ideas for making us more efficient. It was an awful experience. They have been bothering us since the beginning of February and will be bothering us until the end of June. I guess this stupid crap happens in big offices, where thousands of people work, and the management loses touch with the employees, or rather where it's never been in touch, because they didn't work their way up from employee to manager but started as managers. And here the managers start as managers because of connections and because of kissing up. So they're not even good managers to begin with.

One of my CL systems is losing an amazing amount of money. Too bad.

Now it's a matter of setting up the HG on tradestation and testing the last few remaining systems.

I bet you anything that today that damn bug will be back and I won't be able to save the reports the usual way I do it.

 

[Yamato]

Ok, now I am seeing on tv some american idiots celebrating Osama Bin Laden's death. First of all, they could have and should have captured him alive, but they didn't do it because there would have been a trial, and the truth might have emerged, which is that the guy who blew up the twin towers was not him but bush. But these idiots are ok with whatever lies they are fed. As long as there's such idiots around, there's hope for my trading systems.