I'm a masochist & it's hurting my trading :(

[6am]

I didn't decide that my plan was to lose it. I decided that I didn't care if I lost it. With no money in my account i'd be liberated and forced into something else.

But do you still agree with me that you should try to lose it quickly?

There is another solution to your problem. Take money and walk away. That way you will have money and liberated.

 

[the hare]

Why not close the account, and donate whats left to charity ?

and where's mr arabian when we need him ?

 

[kimo'sabby]

Why not close the account, and donate whats left to charity ?

and where's mr arabian when we need him ?

Arabian? You mean, 'king of the Propboarders'? He's sent his slave (Masquerade) over to create silly posts. I thought slavery was unthinkable these days, obviously not.

I wonder if Masquerade will adopt Mr. Nights surname?

"...Yes Mr. Nights Sir, i'll do that right away Mr. Nights Sir..."

 

[Masquerade]

But do you still agree with me that you should try to lose it quickly?

There is another solution to your problem. Take money and walk away. That way you will have money and liberated.

If the aim is to lose the money then yes - due to opportunity costs it makes the most sense to do it ASAP. But my aim was not to blow an account. I just didn't care if it was a consequence of trying to rebuild it. If I planned to lose the money I would have just taken it out and bought something nice or spent it/invested in something.

Why not close the account, and donate whats left to charity ?

and where's mr arabian when we need him ?

Why would I donate it to charity? I'm not talking about £10 or a couple of hundred £ here. Keep in mind that my trading capital represented a large % of my net worth.

I have spoken with him a little lately, I think he's taking a break from this place. He was trying to get his posts deleted. Maybe he'll pop in to call me a degen gambler but I don't think it's likely.

 

[6am]

I reread your long post. I did not realise before that you wrote about past events. Therefore my advice is really useless. You already made your decision 2 months ago. My guess you doubled your account since then

 

[VendorExterminator]

Why not close the account, and donate whats left to charity ?

and where's mr arabian when we need him ?

It's so annoying when people speak about themselves in the 3rd person.

 

[the hare]

Why would I donate it to charity? I'm not talking about £10 or a couple of hundred £ here. Keep in mind that my trading capital represented a large % of my net worth.

I dont know the sums involved or how the story ends, so for all I know you made 40 million and retired, in which case, well done

The point is, you seam comfortable enough to live with the fact that at one point you'd donated 35% of your net worth to a spread betting company, and where prepared to give them a lot more. I just think you'd be a bit happier knowing it had gone to a more worthy cause.

You kill 2 birds with one stone, you force yourself to move on and do something more contructive, and you get to feel that you did something of benefit to help others.

As for Mr Arabian, I fully support his campaign to have posts his removed, its a disgrace the way he's being treated.

 

[Bint_Crusher]

I think it's time for an update. I suggest you get a cup of coffee, take a ****, pause the porn as this is going to be a bit lengthy. I'll first of all thank people who helped in this thread, but i'll admit now that I didn't buy the books as I was feeling poor.

The Background to this thread

Prior to the conception of this thread I had a telephone call for some "exciting opportunity", I was briefed about some job which I didn't catch the gist of, feigned my enthusiasm and then was asked if I could take a telephone interview. I said yes because nothing ventured, nothing gained. Some how I managed to bluff this interview and conveyed myself in a confident, enthusiastic manner and was invited to an assessment centre.

A few days prior to the assessment centre I had bought eur/usd and it had been plummeting. I had been averaging down and the market wasn't bouncing. My assessment centre day came and I seriously considered not going, but I knew if I was so fortunate to get this role it'd be worth a lot more long run than my trade. So off I trudged on the underground to Stamford Brook to go for a Business Monitor International assessment day in Sales. One thing people who have met me can attest to and something I admit is that i'm really not a sales person. I don't have the bouncy energy, nor do I proclaim to be the greatest socialiser in the world. But I had done my preparation for it and I was going to try my best. As I stepped into the room I saw a room filled with fresh faced graduates, all very enthusiastic and arrogant looking and there was me and all I could think about was whether i'd come home to an account and what would be left of it.

The morning started off with an ice breaker and the presenter told us we'd have to introduce ourselves and tell our greatest life achievement. At this point something saddening dawned upon me: I couldn't think of a greatest life achievement, so I made something up and anticipated every conceivable question that could be asked. My turn came around and I stood up, introduced myself and then pulled a bluff in front of about 40 people. I looked them right in the eye and controlled my body language and answered in such a way I believed it myself. When the day was nearly finished all that was left was finding out whether we were successful. We sat in this hot room in Stamford Brook for about 2 hours, I had no contact via internet, no idea what was happening with euro and I just wanted to get home and see what the damage was. I find out I wasn't successful and not really caring, left ASAP to get on the train and spent the next 90 mins to get home and find out my fate.

It shouldn't take a genius to tell, but euro had not bounced back and it was still being bogged down by all the woes of the euro-zone. I took the decision to save my account and took the hit. I hit a trading rock bottom and just didn't know where to turn and felt like admitting it all and this thread was conceived. I had lost all my profit + my account was now down 25% since i'd deposited. I knew something needed to change.

After this thread


So i'd hit my trading rock bottom and sought the knowledge and wisdom of T2W to try help fix my trading and get things improving. I lowered my leverage and started to use stop losses in places where I thought my entries were no longer valid. I found this style of trading didn't go well with me, I often closed trades which looked bad only to see them go back into what would have been a profit. I struggled to run positions and my profits were not big. After a few weeks of constant losing I was feeling hopeless and my account was making new lows. I had dropped another 10% and was down 35% overall on my deposit. I thought i'd hit my trading rock bottom when I made my thread but now this really felt like it. I'd tried to change everything and become better and what was supposed to protect me turned out to hurt me.

My birthday

Towards the end of June I had my birthday. I reflected on my life, the things i'd achieved (more importantly what I hadn't) the dire situation of my life balance and what I could do. I really just felt disappointed that I didn't have more to show for my life. I'd hit my trading rock bottom, my account had some big red numbers looking back at me to show my trading efforts and I felt like it was the time to hit the "withdraw" button and try to do something more "normal" with my life. I didn't trade for about a week. I thought about how i'd doubled my account before within a few months, what I could do differently, what sort of time span would I give myself to see if i could make it work. I wasn't ready to quit on a low and wanted to give it one more try.

Now I realise this part breaks conventional trading wisdom, but I looked at my account with disgust. Although there was still a fair amount of money in there, I saw it as useless and I felt that if I lost it at least i'd be forced into doing something else with my life. So I took the view that I was prepared to take some risks with it. One important thing I had to do was keep my leverage low and not put myself in bad positions where small moves represented a substantial chunk of my account. I gave myself 2 months (till the end of August/beginning of Sept) to see what I could do with my account and then re-evaluate my next move.


Next week will be the end of that period and I shall put the next part up then.

I had bought eur/usd and it had been plummeting. I had been averaging down and the market wasn't bouncing.

You are a severe prick. you entered a trade without any dynamic or otherwise trade management or stops and then you come on here whining about the fact that you lost out and it hurts. You are like one of those hopeless female Townie Transporter of Tarquins and Tabithas that knocks someone down and blames it on the fact that she was otherwise "distracted". Utterly hopeless and self obsessed to the point of being a brain dead mong.
Trading is not rocket science, most of the people I know that are successful are self critical whore raping market focussed geezers. The approach to the market is a battle and one to get on the right side of with a plan to escape if the odds are against you. Thats right, RUN like a cowardly IRA terrorist/Belfast catholic but make sure you live to trade another day.
Every time you make a mistake like this, write it down and tell yerself that you are a useless forken ill disciplined waste of oxygen. Then mail it to yerself every day for a MONTH.
With FOREX don't blame the Banks or your broker , in this case he is not your BITCH. You personally are the jackoff jisswallower by allowing other events to take priority rather than protecting your account. Would you shiite yerself in an "important meeting" if you had diaorreha or would you excuse yerself and go to the bog. At least if you had done the latter you could have clipped out your loss whilst performing your bodily dischrge using a blackberry.

Print this out and carry a copy of it everywhere for the next month to remind you of what a useless cnut you really are.:!::!::!::!::!::!::!::!::!::!::!::!::!:whistlingwhistlingwhistling:whistling

Hey, good luck with your trading, let your winners run and cut your losers out early.

 

[the hare]

Mr Crusher makes some valid points.

I once vomited (repeatedly) in a waste paper basket during an important meeting with Japenese clients, after a heavy night out on the p1ss. The waste paper basket was made of wicker, which resulted in "liquid" dripping all over the floor whilst I hastily ran for the bogs.

I was going through a phase of trying to get fired at the time. In retrospect, my behaviour was a bit self destructive. Although I hate to admit it, there's probably a fine balance to be struck between not giving a toss about the outcome of a trade and self destructive behaviour.

Personally I'd say that 20% swings on a daily basis is the point where you need to be seeking a professional opinion, or possibly paying someone to beat the living daylights out of you for breaching loss limits. Someone advised me that a dominatrix might be a good idea.

1st step of the road to recovery is admitting you have a problem, and I supect he's still light years away from doing that.

 

[Masquerade]

I reread your long post. I did not realise before that you wrote about past events. Therefore my advice is really useless. You already made your decision 2 months ago. My guess you doubled your account since then

I have 3/4 trading days left before I decide. I can tell you now that my account will not be doubled by next week unless something exceptional happens. I am however leaning towards a decision but i'll know better within a week.

 

[the hare]

I can tell you now that my account will not be doubled by next week unless something exceptional happens.

The fact that exceptional circumstances could possibly result in your account doubling in a week should have you soiling your trousers.

 

[donaldduke]

I couldn't think of a greatest life achievement, so I made something up ..

You made us read that long post but you left out the best bit

 

[Masquerade]

You made us read that long post but you left out the best bit

What was the best bit?

I decided to write some of it last night as I had some time and knew it'd be too long if I did one post next week.

 

[Bint_Crusher]

I have 3/4 trading days left before I decide. I can tell you now that my account will not be doubled by next week unless something exceptional happens. I am however leaning towards a decision but i'll know better within a week.

Well spill the beans then. The markets are closed for a few days.

 

[Successful_Trader]

Never impulse trade -- bottom line...

 

[donaldduke]

What was the best bit?

The blag about your greatest achievement. Was it lulzy or chringeworthy?

 

[Masquerade]

Can we keep the arabian stuff out of this please? I was just replying to that kimo knob who seems to have disappeared.

The blag about your greatest achievement. Was it lulzy or chringeworthy?

As I sat there and thought about my greatest achievement I thought of a few things i'd done, but they weren't really achievements as such. People were standing up saying they'd climbed kilimanjaro, run businesses, travelled around the world with no money and all sorts of great things compared to what I could think of - so I needed to create something. But it needed to be believable.

I recalled when I was at university there was a 10km run which ran once a year and decided i'd lie about taking part in it. I thought about all the possible questions: How long did I train for? What time did I do it in? What was the route? Did I do it for charity & how much did I raise? Where did it start and finish? I stood up and told my "achievement", he asked my time which I said was 48 mins and he commented it was pretty fast and was working out the speed and I just told him I was a fast runner I said I did it for a charity which I named and that i'd raised £x (I felt pretty dirty about lying about that bit - not something i'm proud of, but I was going for a sales job so there's always a bit of creative lying in that.)

They didn't really care about the achievement and it was just to see how you presented yourself in front of a large number of people. But for that moment I couldn't think of anything I wanted to tell and didn't mind lying about the event but I wasn't feeling good about the charity bit.

 

[squall321]

sooooo..

 

[maxima]

If I was betting kind of person I'd bet all my money you havent quit.

I think you are going to destruct yourself few more times until you greatly diminish your net worth...

 

[Masquerade]

What odds do you want to bet at?