Asian Coronavirus Outbreak

[Signalcalc]

I often wonder why or how people are unable to make their own conclusions and risk assessment on the numerous amount of information that is available on our super highways.

Information is everywhere.

Who on earth would listen to Boris outlining his vision on how to deal with the virus given his history of statements around Brexit?

Hang on a minute. I think I've answered my question. Brexiteers of course.

People have short memories, either that or took no notice of the Brexit process and the bullshit of parliament (I suspect the latter) those that listen to Govt know they are full of crap and are therefore forewarned against their devious ways.

Ultimately the state is not looking out for the people, they have the military to be the final arbiter for any decisions made.

 

[MasterOfCoin]

Staying on topic, I think we can now safely declare the great Corona Crash of 2020 well and truly underway.

With whole tens of cases in the UK, supermarket shelves have been left bare in a surge of panic buying.

Not a tree shall be left standing as all drinks are to be dispensed in single-use paper cups and entire forests are felled to supply exponential demand for bog roll, disposable tissues and completely useless face masks.

The Government's emergency response has been to spend billions in 'swift' action to propose having a test for the virus available in six months or so.

London Stock Markets (always that little bit faster to act than their political masters ) quickly plunged three and a half percent.

At this rate, one can only imagine the mass food riots, looting & burning, and the imposition of Military Law that will ensue when confirmed cases go into 3-figures.

On the bright side, there's nearly enough lunacy from which to script an entire new series of Monty Python !

 

[cantagril]

Solution (traditional):
Buy Telegraph (see above), cut into squares, thread on string and hang near loo.
'a better class of bog-paper'

hey, MofC, some aussie newspaper stole your idea. I think you should sue or get royalties.

Coronavirus: Australian newspaper prints extra pages to help out in toilet paper shortage

NT News, known for its humorous front pages, produces a special edition amid panic over loo roll shortage

www.theguardian.com

Being the capital, Londoners are already well-served with a publication called "Metro" to be found given away almost anywhere. The quality of the paper itself is ideal for purpose and the journalism not worth reading, so it's an altogether ideal product.

I note the the stock bins have been usually empty of late...

 

[cantagril]

Staying on topic, I think we can now safely declare the great Corona Crash of 2020 well and truly underway.
.............
London Stock Markets (always that little bit faster to act than their political masters ) quickly plunged three and a half percent.
At this rate, one can only imagine the mass food riots, looting & burning, and the imposition of Military Law that will ensue when confirmed cases go into 3-figures.
On the bright side, there's nearly enough lunacy from which to script an entire new series of Monty Python !

Utter rubbish MoC!! I don't where you come with these inanities: there's enough material for several series of Monty Python.

I'm just waiting for the coming rebound when it's realised that we're not all going to die...am looking to buy some CadChf between .6900 and .6950. I'll probably sit on these for a while, if I survive...and a lot longer, if I don't

 

[MasterOfCoin]

Sing along now


"I'm a lumberjack, an I don't care ...

A bog roll here, ... an paper cups there !

I'm a lumberjack, an I don't care ...

We've got loads of wood pulp to spare !

 

[MasterOfCoin]

Journalist arrives at The Ministry of Dept.C19 Virus Response for a briefing ...

'Ah, yes, do come in ... before we start, can you just confirm if you applied for the short Emergency Denial or the long one?'

'Well, I ticked the box marked "tick here for a briefing" and paid the £20= Fee.'

'No you didn't.'

'Yes, I did, I handed the form in myself'

'No, you didn't'

'Yes I bloody well did ! I gave it to the man outside just moments ago.'

'No, you did not.'

'I did I tell you, look, he's right outside.'

'No, he isn't.'

'Yes he damn well is, I just saw him.'

'No, you can't have.'

'I can. I did. He was right there !'

'Sorry, time's up. Please take a moment and fill in our customer satisfaction survey on your way out'

'But you haven't given me a statement !!!'

'Next, please.'

'This is ridiculous !'

'Very busy, move along now, customer satisfaction is down the hall on your left'

'I demand my statement !*!$!'

etc, ad nauseum ....

 

[Signalcalc]

I've heard that alcohol and hot water will prevent the spread, so in the true wartime spirit of British Bulldog, determination and grit, I am off to the hottub for a beer, and to sing Rule Brittania, it's what Winston would have done - wake me up when the virus wars end.............🍻

 

[Pat494]

We will fight the virus on the beaches...…..
(Winston )

 

[Atilla]

We will fight the virus on the beaches...…..
(Winston )

Virus likes moisture and liquid to replicate. You may as well give it legs and wings.
Bad strategy to fight virus on beaches.

 

[trendie]

Virus likes moisture and liquid to replicate. You may as well give it legs and wings.
Bad strategy to fight virus on beaches.

I am sure Atilla meant "we will fight them with bleaches".

 

[Atilla]

I am sure Atilla meant "we will fight them with bleaches".

Don't you mean Pat meant "we will fight them with peaches".

This is getting awfully confusing. Virus up against man.

Virus wins. LOL

 

[postman]

Don't you mean Pat meant "we will fight them with peaches".

This is getting awfully confusing. Virus up against man.

Virus wins. LOL

Your confused.
Virus vs Aliens -> Virus wins.
Virus vs Humans -> Humans win.

Modern humans are here BECAUSE we beat millions of years of virus attacks, that's HG Wells 101.

 

[cantagril]

Your confused.
Virus vs Aliens -> Virus wins.
Virus vs Humans -> Humans win.

Modern humans are here BECAUSE we beat millions of years of virus attacks, that's HG Wells 101.

Hm, yeeees...that is true but then again, you're talking about the species rather than any groups, nations and herds. Now that modern humans are modern and civilised, i.e living in cities, we've created the ideal conditions for an ambitious experiment:

Step 1 - Manufacture an enormous Petri dish able to contain large numbers of fertile material (us)
Step 2 - Remove knowledge and hygiene culture from as much of the subject material as possible
Step 3 - Herd as much of the ignorant and unwashed subject material into the receptacle provided
Step 3 - Introduce an experimental bacterium...or virus, to be fashionable.
Step 4 (Optional)- Seal said Petri dish and observe from a safe distance - Mars, possibly.

No doubt the species will emerge triumphantly more resistant, more knowledgeable and more skilled... but just fewer.

How fewer is the research question that we're addressing now. Isn't it so much fun to part of one's own grown-up science experiment?!

 

[Pat494]

This coronavirus may be the escape of cultured bugs being made for warlike purposes.
This may be the future nastiness of world leaders exposed.
Some may even be lurking in the background just waiting to SELL the antidote having made it in the first place.

 

[MasterOfCoin]

This coronavirus may be the escape of cultured bugs being made for warlike purposes.
This may be the future nastiness of world leaders exposed.
Some may even be lurking in the background just waiting to SELL the antidote having made it in the first place.

Oh Pat, I do hope you watched 'Utopia'

 

[counter_violent]

This coronavirus may be the escape of cultured bugs being made for warlike purposes.
This may be the future nastiness of world leaders exposed.
Some may even be lurking in the background just waiting to SELL the antidote having made it in the first place.

 

[MasterOfCoin]

No surprises there, none at all.

''All Labs leak'' .. No shit Sherlock, they always do.

'Vaccine ??' No, no, no, no, no. Not interested.
Oh, I know, what's the quickest, easiest, way to pour billions more into making the problem worse? - Call for a Vaccine, of course. Absolutely not. Turn off the money tap. Cut the head off the snake is better, but at very least stop feeding it.

The problem with all conspiracy plans, however managed, is the inevitable element of cock-up.

& when you apply all that to a virus, you'd be well advised to remember it's a living, evolving organism only 'interested' in one thing- it's own continued replication/ survival/ continued existence. It has no moral conscience or agenda. Certainly doesn't give a damn about politics, race, religion, sex, age, money or any other human values or criteria.

Nevertheless, as was ever thus, the world continues to be run by a bunch of dumb fucks that have learned nothing from the lessons of history, so the rest of us must just muddle on through their mess as best we can ...

 

[counter_violent]

Still no talk of pandemic status.
Do they not know already that there is a world shortage of bog rolls.
Don't panic Don't panic.

Coronavirus: Family pay tribute to 'wonderful great-grandad'

The family of a man who died with coronavirus say they cannot arrange his funeral because they are self-isolating.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[Atilla]

I'd also add that are lot intellectuals, aren't. My non-fun job sometimes entails advising academics on aspects of their research/studies and my experiences are fairly uniform:

A. Undergraduates are a huge pain because they've haven't learned anything but don't know that
B. Masters are a huge pain because they've learned a little more than undergraduates but think it's a lot
C. Doctors are a huge pain because they think they know quite a lot and have trouble with the concept of doubt.
D. Professors are a huge pain because they've got a title that "proves" that they know a lot

I have long since ceased to be surprised at the levels of stupidity and ignorance in even the most erudite of supposed intellectuals.

Human nature is what it is.

Non-fun job?

Are you an expert in your field, who sets exam questions?

 

[Atilla]

Still no talk of pandemic status.
Do they not know already that there is a world shortage of bog rolls.
Don't panic Don't panic.

I don't usually do big shopping but having company over weekend thought I'd visit Sainsbury's. The toilet paper row was sparse but hardly a shortage.

Cheap ones gone but plenty of the expensive ones. I was down to three rolls so bought another 9 pack - what with all you and SC's scaremongering.

Also, noticed the Tuna in Vegetable Oil sold out. Plenty of spring water Tuna on shelves so hardly a shortage.

Much ado about nothing.