Life and "death" of a trader
I have been asked (by a charity) to relate in book form through a publisher. The story of the anguish of trading from a perspective of what it does to your life, and the struggle within
Here is a very short extract, of the finished book, please keep in mind that this is a very condensed writing, 162 pages have been omitted for space limitations on here. Please forgive any grammatical errors as this is taken from a “draft copy”
I invite comments.
Born to an Austrian father and an English mother in an air-raid shelter which was our family home after the war, there were no signs of electricity or any other source of power, just our family trying to make ends meet. The youngest of five and another unexpected mouth to feed was the last thing my parents would have wanted, never-the-less my arrival was welcomed with the end of the war, so many had died and poverty was running out of control. Prospects were none existent in the days when so much had been sacrificed in the name war.
In later years my schooling was “horrific”, I really did not get any education as such, always being “battered” by the tough regime to try and pull me into line, conformity was a strict lesson to be learnt, but alas had fallen behind on this also. Many a day I just did not bother to go, it was easier and less painful not to attend. Finally, leaving at a young age, with no qualifications. Seeking work and getting it, on the back of new prosperous times, only to loose my endless search for the correct type of employment, something that I would enjoy would be nice !, the greatest thing in my life at that moment in time was the freedom from school, something, almost everyone in later life regrets. The trouble is, I did’t know that yet !.
After numerous types of employment, the longest of four years, my threshold was at an all time low, just about beginning to regret the “missed” opportunities at schooling, and alas the lack of education I had succumbed to in my earlier years. At the age of 23 yrs getting married, and then the thought of children of my own, did not quell my desire to do at least something with the small amount of brain-power that had been given to me by chance, or had I been at the back of the queue, only to find that the “best ones” had been sorted out and already been “allocated”
It was not until the children arrived that it suddenly dawned on me. That yes I have got to provide for these off-spring … so what do I do now, as another job goes down the “pan”. Not two sticks to rub together, never mind finding the pantry empty. The usual immature thoughts of becoming an “astronought” had been well dashed the day I walked through the school gates for the last time. Finding the right job and keeping it, was a little more difficult than I had been expecting. Two years later after being kicked off yet another building site, started to work for myself as a jobbing builder. Doing whatever I needed to do for the family’s sake. And after a while realized that I was actually really making progress. Although suffering now from stress, managed to buy a home, and my first car was a delight, really thinking that I’m “made” now !... Six months later crashing it with horrific injuries leaving me “deaf” as a consequence. Now I have to make do with sign and lip reading.
It was during this time that I came into the prospect of trading; being bored during my convalescence I would tinker with a “watch-full” eye on the markets, just out of interest I would try to pick the “winners” and also the losers. My interest grew into an obsession, and got to the point where cash was being handed over, and did not really want to return.
This really grew to un-proportionate amounts, the real frightening thing is, not that you are losing money; it’s the fact that you do not notice the fact. This is until you get to a state where you always say the next one trade will pay all the others back. That is until your house has disappeared along with your wife, and no prospect of getting either of them back. At least the children would continue to converse to me through this period, I just could not have managed without them at that time. I had been through my life at that point, on the poor side, and as a consequence had always promised myself that “my” children would never suffer an up-bringing in poverty as I had endured. Alas even that dream seamed to be slipping away.
Still after all that had happened, I was still trying to outsmart the markets albeit on paper trades, squeezing every point out of every trade, eventually failing time after time, year after year, and getting once to the point of breaking. Only to suffer a stroke at forty two years old. This is a lesson to be learned from the heavy nail-biting, smokers and drinkers of this world. The early grave beckons you. This was the road I once trod, and only the prospect of the grim reaper awaits you.
2001 was a turning point in my life, not only had I made progress in my trading my eldest daughter married, which was for me the real highlight of the year. Money was again changing hands, but this time I had a small loss over a year’s trading, far better than ever before, the following year again, even less of a loss. Finally a profit in 2003, going back to education to learn programming boosted my profits, reading scores of books on subjects you would never believe. I could not get enough of the stuff, being a slow reader from lack of education, the more I read the faster I became. For me at this time “knowledge was KING”.. Sadly in 2003 my now ex-wife dies in a car crash and sets me back in emotional terms with trading.
A new start in 2004 with a new vigor in trading. Trading the currency market with, an almost obsessive winning formula. Nothing was going wrong, money was being almost thrown my way, purchased a Home on the strength of the prosperity. A real family home, that my daughter now lives in with her family. In 2005 I started teaching my second daughter to trade, in her first year she grossed 16K.and gave up work to concentrate on trading full time…. She is 32 years old and grossed 82.5k in 2007.
I now concentrate on being in good health, with trading in between. I have instilled in my daughter to follow my lead, and give back what you can, when you can. Therefore like me she gives 3% of her gross income every year to a charity of her choice. The greatest sadness for me, is that my wife is not by my side to see her children and grandchildren prosper from a better start in life than that of myself.
Regrets are many, but it is only within hind-sight that you achieve regrets, one never realizes at the correct time, that a profound mistake is being made. My advice to all budding traders would be not to be a trader, as the road to your goal is not without cost.
Cost is not monetary to a trader, it is something you will never buy back …you may think you are different from me, and you will do things better and, “ in a less costly way”, and I applaud your sentiment, but cost is never paid until it is upon you, and at that point in time, the cost can never “ever” be re-paid.
If you are a trader, and you are successful. Then you are one of the few. A small band of elite. And one of those people who have a chance to make a difference to there families future, and have a positive effect to enhance the next generation of your family, not by just throwing money at them, but to put into practice the type of learning that I never did have as a child. Learn them to trade your way, then there future will be without the hardship that you may have sustained. Trading is not a bad thing, it is the “getting there” that is so hard. Always teach them what the real cost once was. I suppose the morel of the story is never take without being prepared to give, and be proud that you have given.
The greatest thing you can give your children is knowledge… Make it So
As a foot-note
I asked my daughter (when she was sixteen) If you had all the money in the world, but you could only buy one item what would it be ???
She replied “ TIME … ”….. and why would you buy time itself, I asked ? ....So I could give it to you, she replied…
All royalties of this forthcoming book to be published in 2009 will be given to a charity (of my choice) worthy of its cause by the publisher with no income being taken for me or my families use.
