Yeah
Totally agree.
The question is whether being in the herd is better after all.
Yes i'm athiest; in some ways i wish i could get over my negative attitudes about God and the lack of logic and the clear fact that he doesn't exist; and just be a christian and have blind hope and faith and the other benefits that come from that... But i think for me to be able to revert to Christianity would mean i would have totally changed my entire thinking approach to just about everything i know.
I suppose i always have the problem of looking at the negatives; if i'm watching television; somehow i annoy myself by how the **** the editing in a problem is or how bad an idea a program is. For example Strictly come dancing, i spent the entire time talking out loud saying that i genuinely cannot think of a worse idea for a television program and then after i think to myself that my views are so negative; that i probably couldn't do better myself. In reality though; in my mind anyway, i could make a much better tv program... Maybe my lack of satisfaction in life is due to having strong opinions on everything without having any sort of standing/qualifications/skills to prove that i can do a better job.
Are you genuinely diagnosed with personality disorders or are you self-prescribed?
I've never really considered whether i have one; I'm so down to earth in my thinking that i have never considered i may have a psychological disorder beyond stubborness and emotions.
I think its interesting that your into movies because i very much am too; i think its because its one of the few times i can get away from thinking too much about everything
Whats your views on music? Interested to see if they are similar to mine
The thing about Narcissism; which i just googled; is that previously unaware of my problems, i thought that i was naturally good at everything and could do everything better myself; now i'm starting to realise that my brain creates an illusion of how good i am at things... Therefore when i lose/fail; its harder because i had such large expectations based on that illusion. At the same time though; i do genuinely think i'm good at things and it annoys me when things don't gratify that... For example; School work - I knew i was good and then they gave me a bad mark, i couldn't accept that i needed to improve, i would just tell myself that they are a **** teacher who can't mark... I guess i assume the worst in everybody and assume total trust in my own ability - Rightly or wrongly. Similar to your psychiatrist example; i went to the doctors to check up on something and they diagnosed me and i knew they were wrong... I had done my own research and i knew they were wrong in their diagnosis; Not that i know anything about the medical proffesion but i just always assume the worst in peoples abilities and feel that i can do most things - I think overall its bad. My brothers the same too
You say 'You could talk as if you were one' A psychiatrist; Sorry if my spelling is bad. I always feel like that about most things; I may not have the first clue about psychology but i always feel i naturally know the answers because i can logically figure them out... I think overall it just stunts further education in a subject through not having an open mind.
I've also always had a lack of empathy; when i see things on the news that others get really sad for; i just feel because its on the TV and that it has nothing to do with me, that i have trouble feeling sorry for them. For example; On the BBC all the time is stories of young men injured in war; i cannot feel sympathy because i cannot get past my own philosophy; Which is that if you go to a war and accept the rewards, you know the risks include death and if this is a consequence so be it, your the one that took that risk, not me; Therefore i cannot feel sorry for these men... If i went to war and died i would have taken that risk into consideration before going and i wouldn't expect sympathy, especially when they are fighting for reasons they as soldiers do not understand. I do think to myself that 'these poor men dieing from bombs' but i find it hard to empathise with their pain; i cannot get over the fact they took the risks and they deserve the consequences. I wish i could not feel like that though.
I will reply as I read.
You sound very intelligent. You see, if you are intelligent and mature, you can reason better than other people regardless of age or anything else. I am sure you already knew that. Probably your parents passed on to you many of their good qualities: maturity, culture, intelligence.
I am self-prescribed with personality disorders.
Movies: yes, me, too. The good ones make me forget about my own thinking or criticising.
Music: over the years I have selected about 1000 of my favorite songs, and I put them on a dvd, and give them to people and tell them "these are the best songs ever written", and I almost feel like I wrote them.
Personality disorders: you can find many tests and resources online, even on wikipedia. And they can give you a better diagnosis than the average psychiastrist, who won't even start telling you about it ever or before you've given him maybe a few thousand dollars (not that I went to one for more than a few sessions).
School and grades: I had a similar attitude. When they gave me a bad grade, I stopped studying for that class, and "failed" the teacher, as if I said "this teacher is no good, because he can't appreciate me". I do the same with people: if someone doesn't like me, I fail them as well. I think that to some degree everyone does it.
Assuming the worst in everybody: yes, me, too. But it's just because I was brought to do things so meticulously that actually the majority does them worse than me, so it is a reasonable expectation.
Anyway, take a few of those online tests for personality disorders, and see that many things will qualify for narcissistic personality disorder. Or maybe not. I qualify almost completely. "Control freak" is another description of the problem, very close to "narcissistic personality disorder". But you know, maybe you don't have a problem. The problem is when it inteferes with your functioning and it makes you unhappy like in my case. If you can relate to people, be relaxed, and feel serene, then there's no problem I think, and then I don't think you have any disorder. Basically, do people perceive you as balanced or not? I am not perceived as balanced, nor do I perceive myself as balanced. All these addictions I have, especially my behaviour in trading, shows that there's something wrong, and that I haven't been able to fix it so far. On the other hand we also have to realize that we might be facing, as traders, situations of pressure (you're deciding your whole future with your trading choices), that would throw many people off balance.
You say 'You could talk as if you were one' A psychiatrist; Sorry if my spelling is bad. I always feel like that about most things; I may not have the first clue about psychology but i always feel i naturally know the answers because i can logically figure them out... I think overall it just stunts further education in a subject through not having an open mind.
I feel like I sound like an expert in everything I say. I may sound cocky or even ignorant, but I always feel that I've become enough of an expert to be opinionated and say "it is like this". Maybe I won't say much, but I will only say it if I am positive. 1+1=2. That's how positive I have to feel about something before I say it, regardless of my adding constantly "maybe" and "probably", which is just a ruse to be right all the time. If I didn't say "maybe" I would risk not being right, in case I said something wrong. And I realize that sometimes I say something wrong, even if at the time of saying it I feel that i am positive about it.
Lack of empathy: exact same thing for me. As I said, I feel that I am at the center of the world. I can't feel empathy. I tried to find out why one becomes like this, but it's long. However, the explanations they give on the web sound good to me: either too much attention, or too little attention when growing up. I was told I had to be the best, and yet I was also told I sucked because I wasn't succeeding at being the best. Maybe some coaches may sound like my dad, when they try to push their athletes to try as hard as possible - at least that's how they sound in movies.
Your "signature":
The markets are the most competitive place in the world. Yet success requires the least competitive mindset in the market. The market thrives by taking money off the majority; the competitive, egotistical and then dividing it between those that accepted the reality of their abilities and the markets movements and predictability and didn't associate pride with the process.
Pride in the process: big problem I have. Being individualist and narcissist and so on goes along with pride. That could be another explanation of why I failed for so many years at discretionary trading.
