Yamato
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I mean to not dwell on psychology, because I was never able to explain what was wrong with me, and even if I did, that might not solve the problem.
We should just proceed by trial and error and see what works.
Let's say that what works is getting stoned, or swimming, or whatever else. This approach might solve my problem much faster than trying to explain every single aspect of my behaviour.
Yes, something is wrong. These 13 years show something is wrong with my trading and my behaviour in general: maybe the thrills, maybe the counter-intuitive nature of trading, maybe something else.
But some things seem to be clear and I should act based on them. Here's a list in random order:
1) automated trading makes me money
2) discretionary trading loses me money
3) looking at charts causes me to trade discretionary
4) staying the internet causes me to look at charts
5) staying at home causes me to stay on the internet
So I should try to not stay at home. However, it's very hard to stay out all the time. Especially in a city like rome, which is loud, and i don't like. I don't like the rude people in rome.
If I could live by the sea, I could make money. But to live by the sea I need to quit my job, and I to quit my job and I need to have money from the start.
I don't see any answer right now. The more I'll stay home the more I will risk discretionary madness. Even now, I am home, and I am at the computer.
And if someone asks me to go out with them, I'll say no, because I never think it's worth it. Never in my life I have found it worth it to go out with friends and have a pizza. It was never an exciting thing to me. Yet that's what everyone else does. That's all they do in life. "Let's go out have a pizza". People work all day long, or study all day long, and all they do, as children or adults, is go out and have a pizza. That's their reward. But that's not enough for me, and I'd rather stay home. Watching a movie by myself or making an interesting phone call to me is more exciting to go out for a pizza. So, when in rome, I always end up staying home, and at home there's computers and then I turn them on and then... discretionary trading.
If I were at the beach house, I could swim and be outside, and it'd be worth it, with no other primates around.
But here, I am surrounded by all these chimps, and it bothers me to be around people, basically. Unless I can choose exactly who they are. There's a lot of people I would like to exterminate.
To sum it all up, let's not dwell on psychology, because the answer is simple and it's this: find a way to not stay at home for longer than 10 hours a day. Or find a way to not stay at the computer for longer than 2 hours a day. All then will be solved, no need for any psychology.
We should just proceed by trial and error and see what works.
Let's say that what works is getting stoned, or swimming, or whatever else. This approach might solve my problem much faster than trying to explain every single aspect of my behaviour.
Yes, something is wrong. These 13 years show something is wrong with my trading and my behaviour in general: maybe the thrills, maybe the counter-intuitive nature of trading, maybe something else.
But some things seem to be clear and I should act based on them. Here's a list in random order:
1) automated trading makes me money
2) discretionary trading loses me money
3) looking at charts causes me to trade discretionary
4) staying the internet causes me to look at charts
5) staying at home causes me to stay on the internet
So I should try to not stay at home. However, it's very hard to stay out all the time. Especially in a city like rome, which is loud, and i don't like. I don't like the rude people in rome.
If I could live by the sea, I could make money. But to live by the sea I need to quit my job, and I to quit my job and I need to have money from the start.
I don't see any answer right now. The more I'll stay home the more I will risk discretionary madness. Even now, I am home, and I am at the computer.
And if someone asks me to go out with them, I'll say no, because I never think it's worth it. Never in my life I have found it worth it to go out with friends and have a pizza. It was never an exciting thing to me. Yet that's what everyone else does. That's all they do in life. "Let's go out have a pizza". People work all day long, or study all day long, and all they do, as children or adults, is go out and have a pizza. That's their reward. But that's not enough for me, and I'd rather stay home. Watching a movie by myself or making an interesting phone call to me is more exciting to go out for a pizza. So, when in rome, I always end up staying home, and at home there's computers and then I turn them on and then... discretionary trading.
If I were at the beach house, I could swim and be outside, and it'd be worth it, with no other primates around.
But here, I am surrounded by all these chimps, and it bothers me to be around people, basically. Unless I can choose exactly who they are. There's a lot of people I would like to exterminate.
To sum it all up, let's not dwell on psychology, because the answer is simple and it's this: find a way to not stay at home for longer than 10 hours a day. Or find a way to not stay at the computer for longer than 2 hours a day. All then will be solved, no need for any psychology.