Walter Mitty
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Are you dash in disguise?
Moi? No, no, no!
Dash was an educated fella who sounded like he ate Victorias for breakfast. I am a dunceychump and sound like I've swallowed the contents of a Glastonbury thunderbox!
Dash is dead, the Taliban had him killed.
He was fighting for them over in Afghanistan. Now, they could put up with his drinking, whoring, penchant for sodomy and general infidelness. But his bigotry, misanthropy and propensity for violence just got too much for them, so they had him whacked.
Apparently, the way they did it, they hid an IED in a goat's ****, and left it tethered outside his tent. Dash heard the bleating, stumbled out p1ssed as a fish, dropped his bags and - well, you can guess the rest.
I still miss my friend, and think of him often. It's worst when I'm shacked up with a transsexual midget hooker - those were his favourite, of course - and the experience just isn't the same without Dash there to tag-team.
RIP Dash.
It's not true please, please tell me it's not
Oh well at least I still have the signed photo (hanging on my wall next to the one of Penfold's day out at CMC towers) of you n Dash crossing swords and towering above Bridget. His appears to be long, very long in fact. Get long my schlong
Ahhh Happy days.