Best Thread Joke of the day

Peter had been in Police work for 25 years.
Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys fifty acres of land in Alaska as far away from humanity as possible...
He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month... Otherwise, it's total peace and quiet.
After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door... He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.
"Name's Cliff, your neighbour from forty miles up the road. Having a party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at about 5:00..."
"Great", says Peter, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you...!"
As Cliff is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you. Be some drinking."
"Not a problem," says Peter. "After twenty five years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em."
Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fighting too."
"Well, I get along with people. I'll be all right! I'll be there. Thanks again."
"More'n likely be some wild sex too."
"Now that's really not a problem!" says Peter, warming to the idea. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there.
By the way, what should I wear?"
"Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us."
 
I see the FDA in America are trialling a new drug to help cure lesbianism.
It's called Trycoxsomemore.
 
Contentious - have fun.
Joke - Conspiracy - Waterfall.jpg
 
Last edited:
J Livermore said:
Two guys were enjoying a warm, sunny day on the golf course and they were doing pretty well. As the day wore on they saw two women who were ahead of them on the next hole. This was a problem because the women were more interested in talking with each other than in playing, so they slowed the guys down.

After a few more holes went by, the men decided one of them should travel the distance to the next hole and politely ask the ladies if they could speed things up.

So one of the guys walked the distance but before he could get their attention he suddenly turned back and re-joined his golfing buddy. When asked what happened, the guy said “One of them was my wife. And the other one was my mistress.”

So the other guy said “Ok, I’ll go ask them to hurry things along.” As the 2nd guy was walking the length to the next hole, he quickly turned around and came back to his friend. Then he announced, “One of them was my wife. The other one was my mistress.”
Click to expand...
hilarious!
 
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