Best Thread Joke of the day

[darktone]

Good to see that darktone is reading my journal and getting a much needed lesson about money, economics and the markets.

Money, economics,markets!?........
I can confirm I monitor your journal, but strictly for the the benefit of my continuing research into the 'Dunning Kruger effect'.

 

[Pat494]

What happens when a salmon gets togethor with a sturgeon ?

Something decidedly fishy if you ask me.

 

[Shakone]

Q: What does the “B” in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stand for?

A: Benoit B. Mandelbrot.

---

A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5ft to the left, the chemist takes a shot and misses 5ft to the right, the statistician yells “We got him!”

---

A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”

The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

 

[Pat494]

Did ya know:-
All the mountains on Saturn's moon Titan are named after peaks in The Lord of the Rings ?

 

[Atilla]

Did ya know:-
All the mountains on Saturn's moon Titan are named after peaks in The Lord of the Rings ?

What do the Russians call it?

 

[Pat494]

What do the Russians call it?

No idea. What do the Russians call it ?

 

[Atilla]

No idea. What do the Russians call it ?

The Mountains of Moria are the three great mountains peaks of; Celebdil, Карадрас and Fanuidhol

 

[Pat494]

The Mountains of Moria are the three great mountains peaks of; Celebdil, Карадрас and Fanuidhol

Thanks At , now I know

 

[Pat494]

Q. What's the black stuff between elephant's toe nails ?

A. slow natives.

 

[Atilla]

What do Elephants use for tampons?



Sheep! :cheesy:

 

[westernforce]

What do Elephants use for vibrators?



Epileptic pygmies

 

[Atilla]

Interesting write ups on towns...

http://travel.uk.msn.com/photos/the-worst-places-to-live-in-britain#image=6

 

[Shakone]

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it's a hardware problem.


An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are walking down the street together. A juggler is performing on the street but there are so many people that the four men can't see the juggler. So the juggler goes on top of a platform and asks: "Can you see me now?" The four men answer: "Yes." "Oui." "Si." "Ja."

 

[Pat494]

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day.
They both go before the head angel to find out if they'll be admitted to heaven. Unfortuntely, there is only one space left that day, so the angel must decide which of them gets in.
The angel asks Dolly if there is some particular reason why she should go to heaven, whereupon she took off her top and said " Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day for eternity."
The angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question.
The Queen took a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shook it up and gargled. Then, she spat into the toilet and pulled the lever.
" OK Your Majesty, you may go in."
Dolly is outraged and asks " What was that all about? I show you two of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down. She simply gargled and she got in. Would you explain that one to me?"
" Sorry, Dolly, " said the angel," but even in heaven, a royal flush beats a pair, no matter how big they are."

 

[Pat494]

Q. what do you get if you cross a mafia man and a socialologist ?

A. an offer you can't understand.

 

[Atilla]

 

[Atilla]

 

[Atilla]

 

[Atilla]

 

[Atilla]

Polar Vortex effect!