Best Thread Joke of the day

How silly of me - I was trying to read that picture...
Click to expand...

Quite difficult to do without an in-depth knowledge of word-picture correlation theory.

I think Mr Cojones may well have a double Phd in it.
 
Man goes to the doctor and says "Part of me feels like a wigwam and the other part of me feels like a teepee! Can you help me?"

The doctor says, "Yes, I'm afraid you're two tents."
 
Here's one for American Republicans ...............

Sarah Palin is so f**king stupid she thinks the Egyptians used dinosaurs to build the pyramids.

:LOL::clap:
 
You only have to watch the Flintstones to know that they didn't build the pyramids. Fred and Barny were too busy.

The Pyramids were built by aliens after Moses parted the Red Sea, creating the Suez Canal.
 
Ambrose Ackroyd said:
Blimey, is that right ?

Well I never.
Click to expand...

You haven't read the Bible, have you?

It comes right after that bit in Deuteronomy where they say you'll get your stones cut off if you interfere with your neighbour's wife's donkey. Or was it ass?
 
Ambrose Ackroyd said:
Blimey, is that right ?
Click to expand...

No, of course not! He was just mucking about.

The pyramids don't feature in contemporaneous literature until the mid 19th Century. I suspect they were built around that time and then deliberately distressed in order to make them appear older with an eye to the soon-to-be burgeoning tourist trade.
 
While we're on the subject,I have a photo (black & white and a little grainy) circa 1964 of Hitler piloting a flying saucer around the Giza pyramid. But then, he would, wouldn't he.
 
Adamus said:
You only have to watch the Flintstones to know that they didn't build the pyramids. Fred and Barny were too busy.

The Pyramids were built by aliens after Moses parted the Red Sea, creating the Suez Canal.
Click to expand...


Yep that's what I believe too but it wasn't Moses that parted the Red Sea he was just an opportunist who happened to exist around the same time.


They 'aliens' are amongts us and just disguised their spaceships hoping no one would notice. ;)
 
TheBramble said:
Are they related to the Falklands?

We had them over to dinner on Saturday night.

They didn't mention anything about Pyramids.
Click to expand...

No, they're not.
The fell out long ago and went their separate ways, putting as much water between them as possible. They're both quite chilled out now.

No, they wouldn't have mentioned it to start with, it's usually the second visit when they start pyramid selling.
 
VARNING: MinnySoda Compewtr Virus

Ve haf just sent you da NORVEGIAN VIRUS. Since ve do not haf any programming experience and do not know how to actually demage your computir, dis Virus verks on da honor system. Please forward dis Virus to eferyvone on your mailing list and den manually delete all of da files on your hard drive.

Tank you for your cooperation,

Sven and Ole
 
Michael Jackson Statue at Fulham FC

I don't know why Fulham fans are complaining. I'm sure their statue was cheaper than the £50M Chelsea paid for theirs.
 
Tattoo

A gay guy goes to get a tattoo as a treat for his boyfriend’s birthday and asks the tattooist for inspiration.

“What does your friend like?” asks the tattooist.

“Boxing” he replies.

So the tattooist tattoos Mohammed Ali on his left bum cheek and Mike Tyson on his right bum cheek.

He goes home please as punch. That night, he shows his special present to his boyfriend.

“Fug off…” says boyfriend, “I’m not getting in the ring with those two.”.
 
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