Sorry man. You beginning to sound like foroom V2.0. He also assigned the blame for his losses to this or that. What could have been. What should have been. The point is the valuable money was lost. That's the reality.
Just because you are 1 to 2k up, doesn't mean you are doing good. You have lost time and life. Since these things are not yet a concern for you, then you still have time to correct yourself.
To be blunt, the bucketshops are not going to give you their money willingly. They worked hard for the stuff. So to expect them to hand you a stack of cash is unrealistic. If you want it, you will just have to work for it, in a job, or in developing something that works reliably in trading.