Hi There,
I`m new to this forum and this is my first post. I`ll give a brief history of the rollercoaster I have been on for the past 12 months and maybe you can then give me some much needed advice.
In May last year I had just set up a barclays stockbroker and marketmaster account. I put £120k into the account and started looking for a trade that I thought would make some big money.
I bought covered call warrants for BHP Billiton for June 2011expiry with a strike price of £25 and a parity of 0.1. They were about 15 pence each and I bought about 300,000 of them. During June the market started falling and BHP`s share price dropped a fair bit, with the covered warrants (essentially the same as options - only priced by a market maker) fell heavily, to about 8 pence each. I averaged down and was sat with 800,000 covered warrants. They went up again to about 12 pence and I thought about getting out, but when I tried to sell, the market makers dropped the price and i was essentially screwed over by them. Not learning my lesson, I bought more when they dropped back to 8 pence and at the highest point i had 1.2 million of them.
They dropped to a low of 3.5 pence and I was utterly gutted by this stage. I rode them back up to 9 pence and eventually got rid of them all for an average just over 8 pence, meaning a loss of about £25k
Like a fool I watched copper go through the roof and eventually BHP were trading at £26 when the covered warrant price was at 31 pence. I was constantly calculating what I could have made and it was driving me mad. The bottom line was that I had badly over extended myself and did not have the balls to sit with the risk, thus I sold out when I got back (from 3.5 pence) to a level where i still had a decent bank (95k).
Then I started spreadbetting, slowly at first, with 1.5% maximum risk per trade. This was in October of last year. I was not making money fast enough (Greed and stupidity really) so i started going for some crazy Ivan trades. I has £50 a point on natural gas and saw it go from £4.37 to £4.00. Suddenly my bank was down to under £80k, but this time I stuck with it and eventually sold out on gas at £4.67, making a nice profit. With this and other trades (oil, gold, GBP/NOK) I got the account upto £125k (this was about two weeks ago) but it was not through any system, just pure luck and by this time I was trading without stops as I kept getting stopped out and then seeing the market go up again afterwards.
Greed took over and I decided to buy heavy into Gold as I has seen it drop to about 1,370 from about 1,420. I bought £10 a point, then some more when it dropped again, then some more etc etc. I ended up with £49 per pip at an average of 1,365. When the price started dropping like a stone, that same feeling of guilt, regret and self loathing crept in (much like the BHP scenario) I sold out on a low and wiped out almost £40k in one go.
The bottom line is that I have about £85k left, which is lucky considering the way i was carrying on.
I realise that I have no discipline, no system and most likely a bit of gambling problem.
What I want know is a steady system that I can follow to the letter, applying a max risk of £1000 per trade (approx 1.2% of my bank) in order to slowly build up my funds again.
I want to be able to sleep at night, not check the prices every 5 mins to see if it has moved, I want an emotionless system that i can live with and not dictate my life.
The last 7 months have been hell in truth, the guilt is the worst, looking my wife and kids in the face knowing I am simply pissing away so much money with unfounded speculation.
Does anybody know of any systems out there that fit my requirements? Something that protects downside and build profit over years, rather than weeks.
I have learned the hard way that discipline is the key to trading, in fact it must be the only way.
Any tips/insight and advice is greatly appreciated. I believe I can follow a system, where trade alerts are given and a strict stop loss format is in place. Such a system would give me the peace of mind (I think) that I am looking for.
Thanks Guys.