Your Manifesto

[megamuel]

You have just been voted in as Prime Minister. What are your top 5 priorities in your attempt to make the UK a better place?

 

[everyonerich]

create 'new type' of capitalism economy

 

[Mr. Charts]

If I was Gordon Brown my first priority would be suicide.

 

[MrGecko]

Impose usuary laws on the banks to force them to lend to retail clients at relistic rates.

Didn't the US do something similar which just exaccerbated the situation we are in now?

(it was more along the lines of giving just as many blacks and hispanics mortgages as middel class white folk, but you get the gist)

Perhaps I would refine your law to something like lending a fixed % of their deposits / capital / reserves ut to the retail market, Tier A secured, Tier B unsecured, and so on.

Also introduce a lower bound on monthly credit card payments at min 30% balance.

All the rest is good.

Oh, I'd let teachers smack children - bring back the cane
Start Pregnancy licenses
Compulsory military service
Jail for poor parenting

 

[arabianights]

1. Legalise all drugs, abolish speed limits, abolish health and safety legislation (keep common law idea of torts)
2. Murder anyone in Labour Party and anyone else I don't like
3. Abolish all taxes, to be replaced with a 100% inheritance tax
4. Institute constiutional right to freedom of speech and movement
5. Guns for everyone 😀

 

[dick_dastardly]

.
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Official Monster Raving Loony Party - Manifesto proposals



Despite its satirical nature, some of the things that have featured in past Loony manifestos have become law, such as

being able to vote at 18

passports for pets

and all-day pub openings



Official Monster Raving Loony Party - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia



MrGecko

You've reminded me of that old ( and now obsolete ) saying

" You need a license to have a dog but any fecker can have kids "

dd

 

[N Rothschild]

i would turn all power back over to the monarch, **** everyone 🙂

 

[montmorencyt2w]

Sensible octogenarians would have made sure to give away most of their assets before whatever limit then existed, e.g. when they were still septuagenarians.

 

[sighthound]

Compulsory retirement at 50 for men including £250,000 cheque,65 for women to give the old man some peace:clap:,
Bring back national service,
Make St Georges day a public holiday,
Cut down to a four day week,I frigging hate Mondays,
Make lager free:cheers:

 

[dick_dastardly]

1) Abolish faith schools.

2) Pregnancy Licenses.

3) Bring back military service.

4) Red traffic lights may be treated as a give way sign when turning left into another street ( or turning right into a one way street ).

5) Do away with Scottish Parliament, Welsh Assembly and NI assembly thus reversing devolution and reducing the number of politicians supported by the tax payer.

5a) Relocate British Parliament to the Geographical centre of the UK.

6) Maximum of 156 weeks ( three years ) cumulative unemployment benefit per person in a life time. Once you’ve used up your 3 years allowance that’s it ! you’re on your own.

7) If a child commits an offence but cannot be charged due to being below the age of criminal responsibility then, by default, the parent(s) or guardian(s) of that child will be charged with the offence.

8) It will be a criminal offence for any man to wear his trousers up to or above the nipple line. The medical condition known as “An accessory nipple” may be used as a defence in cases of this type.

9) It will also be an offence for men to show any butt cleavage. Roadrepair workers will be awarded an annual tax allowance for the purchace of braces.

10) People found guilty of using the word your when they mean you’re will be hanged.

11) Call centre staff must be able to communicate effectively using English.

12) It will be against the law to use sliced brown bread to make toast or sliced white bread to make sandwiches.

13) Fake American accents will be against the law ( Stephen Hawking you have been warned ).

14) It shall be a criminal offence to, either by act or failure to act, prevent or impede in any way the lawful activity of coarse fishing or sea fishing.

15) A duty in addition to VAT will be applied to the sale of chewing gum. The revenue raised will be used to fund the running of specialist nationwide cleaning squads for the sole purpose of removing discarded chewing gum from public areas.

16) All men aged 50 years or over who own a high performance sports car will be required by law to display a bumper sticker stating " I'm driving around at 30mph because I'm in a MenoPorsche "

17) Pubs are part of British culture and also provide a vital public service. Therefore all Pubs will be assigned special protected status. It will be against the law to close down a Pub and any Pub which runs into financial difficulty will be subsidized from national lottery money.


dd




[edit] thank goodness for the edit facility otherwise No 15 would have said

" for the sole purpose of removing discarded chewing gum from pubic areas "

🙂

 

[rathcoole_exile]

alot of good stuff there D_D !!

I'd add
1) compulsory repatriation of illegal immigrants and voluntary repatriation of all other immigrants
2) removal of the Rights of Irish citizens to vote in UK ( we can't vote over there)
3) construction of Berlin Wall style barrier along the border between Ulster and Republic. Give them 30 days to get out, then any Catholics left behind in Ulster are BRITISH
4) as Genics said, restore Monarchy as effective power
5) remove Celtic FC to Republic of Ireland

 

[sighthound]

Ban British boxers from fighting with a guard held lower than their chin against a lightning fast southpaw (Deja' Vu) and wasting 25,000 fans their money.

 

[rathcoole_exile]

that's 2 wasted trips for some people. when are they going to learn ?

 

[nine]

You and I trade differently re.

3 out of 10 are losers. 1 out of 10 is scratched. 6 out of 10 make the same amount virtually every time.

But truly and completely accepting that you can't influence which ones in the 10 are going to be the winners is the key to stressless trading.

 

[montmorencyt2w]

[Daily Mail-type tripe removed]


17) Pubs are part of British culture and also provide a vital public service. Therefore all Pubs will be assigned special protected status. It will be against the law to close down a Pub and any Pub which runs into financial difficulty will be subsidized from national lottery money.
🙂

Agree with the sentiment, although an alternative might have been to regulate the price of alcohol such that there is no financial advantage in buying it outside of a pub, so no more supermarket special offers, etc. If we can regulate banks, we can regulate the price of beer, wine and spirits.