Trans-Mercedes
Imagine the automotive equivalent of the 2015,
Glamour Magazine's Woman of the Year award.
The latest Mercedes Benz has won car of the year award.
You’re riding high, having made a killing trading a rising Gold, and it’s time for an upgrade.
Off you go to the nearest showroom to check out this award-winning beauty, fully intending to buy this baby.
At first glance, you notice something odd about the headlights and the fluff on the windscreen—but you're quickly swept up by the sleek design. The boot and tail lights? Definitely authentic.
Moving on, it’s time to test the plush interior comforts, the cutting-edge built-in sat-nav, the information & infotainment display—all that tech wizardry Mercedes is famous for. You open the door and sink into what should be an oasis of luxury… only to be met with a rude awakening.
You’re not sitting on premium Mercedes leather. You’re perched on crappy VW bucket cloth—
complimented by more matching crappy VW bucket cloth.
WTF?!
To your horror - The steering wheel? VW. The dashboard? VW. The SatNav and infotainment system? Missing in action.
And then comes the cruncher.
What’s this? A hand
gear stick? You were expecting a smooth, sexy automatic—something that slips in gears with soft alluring seduction.
Shocked, you pop the hood—your suspicions are confirmed: VW crap, through and through.
You summon the saleswoman.
Correction: the “sales birthing person.”
With an air of smug superiority, they explain that despite the VW guts, the wheels and appearance are Mercedes-Benz. That this, in fact, is a
trans-Mercedes—and trans-Mercedes are
real Mercedes.
You point out the obvious fraud: this isn’t a luxury vehicle, just a rebadged economy car. You refuse to "buy" a Mercedes that’s fake in every way except logo & badge.
Then comes the accusation:
- You’re trans-Mercedes-phobic.
- Trans-Mercedes-phobia, you’re informed, is not just a mental illness—it’s a social crime.
- You will be severely censured for not "buying into" the truth that trans-Mercedes are real Mercedes.
The old engineering is dead.
Believe in the new engineering.
Buy into the trans-Mercedes. Buy it now. Or else !