So new I could have been born yesterday....Bittahelp?

thinksimafish

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OK,
like many people who read newspapers I've always looked at the FTSE and thought "I could do that!"

Of course I can't, yet.

But now I've decided to start on a little homework and investigate whether or not I was right or not.
This website seems like a great place to start and you folks could probably help me on my way.

I've started to read the huge amount of helpful posts but have taken a break to ask a question that many of you may pee your pants at:

How do I get started and what's the best way to do it?
Obviously I'd rather not invest too much at the moment on boks and courses etc (or anything at all for that matter!). But being a trading virgin my knowledge extends to zero.

So...where do I go from here?
 
Perfect!

You appear to be a bright, ambitious kind of guy looking to make a fortune with the absolute minimum of effort required.

Well you've come to the right place and happened upon the right person.
No need to read what has already be asked and written about extensively on this site alone, just follow these simple steps and the (financial) world will soon be your oyster........ I guarantee it!

Firstly ignore everyone's advice, apart from my own of course. You are obviously an independently minded person so don't need to be distracted by other people's intentionally misleading words.

You will have to invest a large chunk of money on a beginner's course. One's run by Vince Stanzione or Darren Winters are frequently discussed on this site (cost £500 to £3000). Or as a small favour. I myself could give you a one-to-one all-day briefing for the small fee of £9500, just to cover my expenses you understand.

This may well be a large amount of money to you so don't bother buying any books on the subject of trading. Whether they are discussing fundamentals, technicals, psychology or money management, it's all a load of mumbo-jumbo anyway (or will seem like it to you) so why bother?

No need to find out about the markets either. You mentioned FTSE so just stick to that one that you know the best. If it doesn't work out there are plenty others you can try later - bonds, currencies, commodities, futures, options, individual stocks - why waste time learning about all those now?

On a related point, no need to find out about the different ways of trading - cash stocks, SB's, direct-access, CFD's, futures - whatever. They are all much of a muchness anyway. As an added small favour I could make a market for you at any time on the FTSE with only a 10 tick spread, that should be more than plenty for a beginner like you.

Now computers/systems: I can't believe how much other people have wasted on top-notch computers with multiple flat-screens and high speed internet. It's all so much overkill. You have a telephone, right? and the daily papers tell you everyday where the FTSE is, right? So why waste money on stuff that will tell you the same thing just a few hours earlier? I myself use an Amstrad P1064 networked to a Spectrum (for the colours) - a little over the top I know.

As for the amount of money you need, forget what others may claim, if you have the skill, and I don't doubt you have, any amount is fine. What do you have in your wallet right now? 50 quid? 100? That's fine! With a little luck you'll double that with your first bet and with compounding you'll have a 6-figure sum within weeks.

So basically this trading business is a piece of p**s. It is only the vested interests that try and keep it surrounded in an aura of mystique with their talk of so called 'bar charts' and 'real time feeds' so that they can exclude the likes of you.
But lucky you! You have found me to guide you though the jungle and tell you what and when to buy or sell. You're onto a sure fire winner... now if you could just get that first cheque off to me (lets say £9000 as we're old friends now) the real lessons can begin!
 
I would suggest you first decide what it is you wish to trade, the FTSE future or whether you wish to trade the daily, spread betting - watch the latter though, as the volatility is not too good for day trading.

Be more specific of what your intentions are and I know there will be much advice you will be given on this board.

John
 
zow...
thanks mate, real nice of you to be so helpful and forthcoming in your advice.
Now be honest a little point of saying
"ignore these get-rich schemes by Darren Winters et al"
or
"Unfortunately a good book such as....is the best place to start"
would have takien up a lot less time than what you invested in your response wouldn't it?

It's a shame, in the hour or two I've spent reading all the other posts there seems to be a pletora of helpful people on this site and all you can is orate sarcasm and rhetoric. well thanks buddy.

Of course I realise money needs to be invested, I wasn't ACTUALLY born yesterday, that was sarcasm on my part (did you spot it?) but spending money where it is wasted is somewhat counter-productive. I simply wanted to know where it is best spent.

But anyway, I agree I should have taken the time to read this site more before posting a lame question, thanks Zow, your preaching has taught me the error of my ways.
 
Zow, you're back from lunch early :cheesy:
Can I make the tea at your courses?
 
thinksimafish said:
zow...
Now be honest a little point of saying
"ignore these get-rich schemes by Darren Winters et al"
or
"Unfortunately a good book such as....is the best place to start"
would have takien up a lot less time than what you invested in your response wouldn't it?


Yes, that would indeed have taken up a lot less time but it would only be repeating verbatim what has already been said dozens of times before on previous threads.
Simon is right, I am a little bored today so thought I'd try and find a slightly different way of saying the same thing.

It's a shame, in the hour or two I've spent reading all the other posts there seems to be a pletora of helpful people on this site and all you can is orate sarcasm and rhetoric. well thanks buddy.

I am also always impressed by the number of helpful people on this site who are willing to give of their time and expertise much more freely than I do/can be bothered to/can afford to. More's the reason not to waste their time with repeated questions.
Please do not mistake the piece as sarcasm - it was supposed to be ironic, I hoped obviously so. And I do not do rhetoric or preaching.

But anyway, I agree I should have taken the time to read this site more before posting a lame question,

hurrah to that.
A belated welcome to the site anyways and good luck in your new chosen endeavour.



Oatman - I'm back early from HOLIDAYS, if that's what you mean?! :cheesy:
You can only make the tea if you wear eye-blinds and ear-plugs, else you pay like everyone else! :devilish:
 
Thinks

We've all been there (at least I am) which is to say that you never stop learning.

Try to decide how much capital you can comfortably afford to lose
Decide how much time you can or want to devote to trading
Explore the various sorts of securities you might like to trade and the risks associated with them
Decide on your trading timescale - for how long would you want to hold a position and why

Do lots of searches on this site

Do lots of searches on Google


Read some books - a lot can be bought second hand
If you only buy/read three books let them be :

Reminiscence of a Stock operator -Edwin Le Fevre - available foc for download from the net

Market Wizrds - Jack D Schwager

John J Murphy - Technical Analysis of the Financial Markets

Come back again with any questions however stupid they may seem as they occur to you

Do not be phased by some of the egos you meet on these boards - as your knowledge increases you will begin to sort out the wheat from the chaff

Best of Luck
 
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Zow,
I've probably been around a lot longer than you think:cool:
I was working on hourly rates for a T-boy based on your charges :cheesy:
 
thinks

I tend to use this site for read only purposes, there is some usefull stuff if you are prepared to sive through the cr*p.

To the few members that were moaning last week that most members (especially newbies)did not contribute to the t2w site.

is it any wonder??
 
Oatman

It's not the years, it's the mileage........ ;)

I'm no spring-chicken either but shall defer to your 'Legendary Member' status....... I can but dream of the time when I may perhaps join you in the upper eschelons of legendaryness. :cheesy:
 
shazbots said:
thinks

I tend to use this site for read only purposes, there is some usefull stuff if you are prepared to sive through the cr*p.

To the few members that were moaning last week that most members (especially newbies)did not contribute to the t2w site.

is it any wonder??


I missed that thread about newbies not contributing but isn't it just a little lazy to ask such a wide ranging, general question as 'where do I start?' even for the 'First Steps' section.

But, I repeat, i was in no way being sarcastic or 'flaming' the original questioner. Just trying to find a different way of saying what has been said many a time.
 
I'm sure TIAF is an intelligent sort of person - why else would they be checking out t2w. And I think Zow's response was pretty good.

If you could spot the obvious tongue-in-cheek-ness (as I'm sure TIAF did) - it did actually set out all the things a newbie could be doing and could be avoiding.

Although Zow's response was a bit low on detail (what the hell, who's perfect anyway?) , but as I'm sure he himself expected, those in the know are now giving generously of the time and info.
 
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