My job is so unbelievable...

DionysusToast

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I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fncking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fncking dog to work. Every fncking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fncking day.

Anyway, I drive these fncktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and sh1t.
 
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always wondered whey you carried that revolver( use the fl-ck-ng thing and they will be all toast)
 
You think you've got problems? I have to go to work in a car with no engine, so I have to poke my feet through the floor and run along the ground to make it go. I have to shovel all sorts of big rocks in a quarry with an animal I don't know the name of. Then it gets worse when I get home: I have to go bowling with my idiot neighbour and to cap it all off his wife is so much sexier than mine. At least the steaks are big.
 
You guys don't know he meaning of hardship at work. FFS sake I'm a genius but my clone is absolutely insane. Every time I try to take over the world the fncking idiot clone ruins it for me.
 
You lot have really **** jobs. Me and three of my four brothers live on a tropical island with dad. Sometimes we get a message from my fourth brother who lives on our very own spacestation to tell us that there is some major problem going on in the world that can't be solved by conventional means.

Dad then tells one or more of us to get in one of our rockets, to go and sort it out. Oddly the rockets are built by the geek who also lives with us.

Most of the time though, we're just hanging out on the island, waiting for something to happen.
 
You lot have really **** jobs. Me and three of my four brothers live on a tropical island with dad. Sometimes we get a message from my fourth brother who lives on our very own spacestation to tell us that there is some major problem going on in the world that can't be solved by conventional means.

Dad then tells one or more of us to get in one of our rockets, to go and sort it out. Oddly the rockets are built by the geek who also lives with us.

Most of the time though, we're just hanging out on the island, waiting for something to happen.

Seems an almost fantastically ideal situation.
I would read the small print on your contract though.
There may be strings attached.


(You of course know that the Tracy brothers were named after the Mercury 7 astronauts :smart: )
 
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