Best Thread Joke of the day

winner of the homer simpson look-alike contest..
 

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More Stwart Francis

I went to my local library yesterday, and asked: “Have you got a book on handling rejection without killing?”
 
Cheerio to Frostie !

This could apply to Hadrian's Wall soon
 

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I suspect Obama would like to attract more Mexicans into the US right now. He'll need all the votes he can buy.
 
True but Funny

Just keeping in touch with my partner, texted her and told her after a couple a good days in the market it was shoving marrows up my bottom today.

Her response: "Sell Marrows".

I can't help feeling she's got more trader nous than I ever will.
 
I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.
 
My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you *******!"
"Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"
 
A Catholic boy in confession says, "Bless me Father, I have sinned, I masturbated while thinking about my sister."
"That's a disgrace," said the priest, "especially when you have two gorgeous brothers."
 
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