How do you start your own Hedge Fund in the UK

DashRiprock said:
Ok i can do a) and e), hoo else is in?
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I've got access to a sh1t-load of fools, via my membership of T2W, so I can do d).

Overseas, will Naples do? You can get anyway with f***ing anything down there, as long as you bribe and pay off the right people. So that could be c) sorted as well.
 
rite need d) and a leader then. i think j the trader as leader he knows all the stuff.
 
Pazienza said:
I've got access to a sh1t-load of fools, via my membership of T2W, so I can do d).

Overseas, will Naples do? You can get anyway with f***ing anything down there, as long as you bribe and pay off the right people. So that could be c) sorted as well.
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Great.....:cool:
 
Just a few questions, lets just say you agreed a fixed return of 20% to anyone who invested more than 10k. If you made 100% in the year, would you even have to tell them? Or could you just mail them each month saying that the monthly target of 1.66% was hit
 
DashRiprock said:
rite need d) and a leader then. i think j the trader as leader he knows all the stuff.
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We've got d), d) is fools. What we need is b).

J can be the leader, no problem here. First, it was his idea. Second, he seems to know a bit about it. Third, if it goes t1ts up and the law gets involved, we can rat him out as the guy in charge, we'll get maybe 1 year (serve 6 months somewhere cushy) as opposed to the 5 to 10 he'll be looking at, and they won't even think about coming after our stash because they'll reckon he made most of it.
 
Oh btw I'll be doing Law at Uni, so I can do b) as well.

As a little experiment I may start up a website offering such a service, a guaranteed 75%p.a. return hedge fund (if you don't leave the site at that point you are naive enough to put money in), buy a sucker's list off some Nigerian 419ers and collect a few people to pose as traders/secretaries/risk managers/satisfied investors etc

I bet you could raise £10 million in six months if you could spread the word far enough....:-0 come to think of it wtf am I doing here thinking about making a few hundred quid. :sneaky:

For the record I am joking, in case the Serious Fraud Squad break down my door tomorrow.
 
i think doomplonk would be a better leader. and hes in spain so thats nearer to napels.
 
Pazienza said:
We've got d), d) is fools. What we need is b).

J can be the leader, no problem here. First, it was his idea. Second, he seems to know a bit about it. Third, if it goes t1ts up and the law gets involved, we can rat him out as the guy in charge, we'll get maybe 1 year (serve 6 months somewhere cushy) as opposed to the 5 to 10 he'll be looking at, and they won't even think about coming after our stash because they'll reckon he made most of it.
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What do you mean reckon? :mad:

I'd glady serve 5 to 10 in a federal low security prison in America, I can't imagine a better education than ten years with a load of white collar crooks, I'd come out and make a billion. I'm only 18 I can afford to serve a few stretches if the rewards are good enough.
 
jthetrader said:
What do you mean reckon? :mad:

I'd glady serve 5 to 10 in a federal low security prison in America, I can't imagine a better education than ten years with a load of white collar crooks, I'd come out and make a billion. I'm only 18 I can afford to serve a few stretches if the rewards are good enough.
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That's good. We're in the UK, you ought to see the low-security prisons over here, they're a joke. You could do 6 months standing on your head.

All we need is some patsy to be a lightning rod. Shall I send Black Swan a PM? He's always looking for some way to make some money out of "trading", we should be able to get him on board for a couple of hundred Gs. Plus, he can impress gullible noobs with his cliches and whatnot.
 
DashRiprock said:
i think doomplonk would be a better leader. and hes in spain so thats nearer to napels.
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Not only do i live in spain but i have experience in running call centres

And have a massive list of investors from when i used to work in investemnt property sales

This actually seems like a good idea, i know it could be sold (y)
 
Pazienza said:
That's good. We're in the UK, you ought to see the low-security prisons over here, they're a joke. You could do 6 months standing on your head.
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I'm in the UK too, but our fraudsters are small fry compared to the Madoffs, Jeff Skillings, Ken Lays and so on. I think it's because we are far too grounded in reality, American's have that sort of hypomanic American dream thing, so they are willing to believe things for cultural reasons which would never pass muster with a Brit.

Pazienza said:
All we need is some patsy to be a lightning rod. Shall I send Black Swan a PM? He's always looking for some way to make some money out of "trading", we should be able to get him on board for a couple of hundred Gs. Plus, he can impress gullible noobs with his cliches and whatnot.
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Yeah yeah, we need feeders, so we take someone's £100 and if they agree to find enough fools to bring in another £500 they get their £100 back. And so on and on. Oh and once they have found the other victims they are an accessory to fraud so good luck grassing on us.
 
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jthetrader said:
Yeah yeah, we need feeders, so we take someone's £100 and if they agree to find enough fools to bring in another £500 they get their £100 back. And so on and on. Oh and once they have found the other victims they are an accessory to fraud so good luck grassing on us.
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This is getting beautiful, we can run a pyramid scheme within our hedge fund? I love it. :)
 
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