Oanda's a market maker so the liquidity and pricing available is directly dependent on what they are willing to offer since they are making the market. The same goes for the spreads. Every US broker registered by the NFA/CFTC is required to disclose in their trading agreement how their forex execution works, so you can verify this as well.
I find this paradox from traders such as yourself interesting since on the one hand traders want a trading environment free of the conflict of interest posed by trading directly against your broker acting as the market maker which can control pricing, liquidity etc over the trading environment. Yet when you're trading with NDD forex execution in which pricing, liquidity, spreads, etc is determined on a competitive basis and you're trading in an anonymous environment, you think it is being controlled by FXCM.
The sugar coated market you seek is only available through a market maker which controls the complete trading environment, but you also have to live with the conflict of interest posed by your broker potentially profiting from your trading losses and having the ability to employ trading restrictions and re-quotes.