Insults

hereward the wake

hereward the wake

Senior member
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I have noticed a few insults, swipes and barbs being hurled around this place so I thought I would open a thread where they are welcome. Don't hold back let it all out. I'll start the ball rolling you lilly livered dog farts. ;)
 
BFVPywxCEAEx28u.jpg:large
 
Yo momma's so fat and old when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mother to move out of the way.

:LOL:
 
Yo mama so hairy when she gave birth to you, you got carpet burn
 
hereward the wake said:
I have noticed a few insults, swipes and barbs being hurled around this place
Click to expand...

"Woe, alas, what - in our house?!?!"

Surely no insults in Trade2Win, shock horror?! That couldn't possibly have any connection with the place being a ghost-town and having lost hundreds of members over the last few years, surely?????! :whistling :cry:

Between that and the never-ending, blatantly promotional, spammy posting, about which the moderators so consistently ignore all "reports", there'll soon be only you and myself left here, Hereward, you cantankerous old blatherskite. :eek:
 
alexaherself said:
"Woe, alas, what - in our house?!?!"

Surely no insults in Trade2Win, shock horror?! That couldn't possibly have any connection with the place being a ghost-town and having lost hundreds of members over the last few years, surely?????! :whistling :cry:

Between that and the never-ending, blatantly promotional, spammy posting, about which the moderators so consistently ignore all "reports", there'll soon be only you and myself left here, Hereward, you cantankerous old blatherskite. :eek:
Click to expand...


How to stop scratching that itch ;)


These strategies will help:
Moisturize. Even though you have a flare-up and are faced with an irritating skin rash, stick to your skin-care routine. ...
Soothe skin. ...
Use a topical steroid cream. ...
Dress comfortably. ...
Keep cool. ...
Avoid excessive heat. ...
Trim your fingernails. ...
Manage any allergies.


:)
 
Have this list in notepad ready to cut and paste into the chat window when on-line gaming . . .

Does your mummy know you're playing with the internet?

With your wit you should be on the stage. There's one leaving in 5 minutes.

Bless . . . he's 14 and thinks he has a 14" *****

That's the snappiest comeback you can think of?

You've never had a human girlfriend have you?

Hush child, adults are talking

Have you taken your medication today?

You the first in your family born without tail?

Your inferiority complex is fully justified.

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

You are having delusions of competence.

When you get lost in thought, do you feel like a stranger?

I'd like to agree with you. But then we'd both be wrong.

Your mummy called you "special" when you were young didn't she?

It's hard to believe that you out-swam a million other sperm

Apart from being illiterate, unemployable and a moron what are your other good points?

Can you chew gum and walk a straight line at the same time?

Your bus leaves in 10 minutes... Be under it.

Come back when you've finish evolving

Lemme guess, your girlfriend's outside chewing the cud yes?

You & me in a fight, I choose grammar. What's your weapon?

There's no end to your wit mate - and no beginning either.
 
Winston was quite good at insults:


[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Lady Astor to Churchill "Winston, if you were my husband I would flavour your coffee with poison"
Churchill: "Madam, if I were your husband, I should drink it"[/FONT]


[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Bessie Braddock to Churchill "Winston, your drunk!"
Churchill: "Bessie, you're ugly, and tomorrow morning I shall be sober" [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[/FONT]
 
0007 said:
Winston was quite good at insults:


[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Lady Astor to Churchill "Winston, if you were my husband I would flavour your coffee with poison"
Churchill: "Madam, if I were your husband, I should drink it"[/FONT]


[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Bessie Braddock to Churchill "Winston, your drunk!"
Churchill: "Bessie, you're ugly, and tomorrow morning I shall be sober" [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[/FONT]
Click to expand...

When told of an 'incident' on hamstead heath involving a minister and a guardsman he said and I quote ' Are you sure? On the heath with a guardsman, in this weather, good god it's makes you proud to be British.'
 
Another from Churchill (referring to Charles de Gaulle): He looks like a female llama who has been surprised in the bath.
 
alexaherself said:
Another from Churchill (referring to Charles de Gaulle): He looks like a female llama who has been surprised in the bath.
Click to expand...


I thought that the finest insult from Churchill to De Gaulle concerned Churchill's funeral arrangements. Winston remarked that he did not want his funeral train to leave from London Paddington station as envisaged (and that would have been the normal arrangement for his destination at Bladon) but should instead depart from London Waterloo. When asked why, he explained that De Gaulle would have to be there unless he died first.

(there are some who say this is an urban myth – but at least it's a good one!)
 
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