David Knight
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Urgent Serious Announcement (very serious and very urgent) (seriously)
This announcement ,which could not be more serious, (or urgent) is for the urgent attention of all those who are easily and seriously scared of...
Dry throat
coughing
sneezing
aching
tiredness
lemsip
..for less than 2 weeks
... in other words,,. nah fcuk it, not in other words, these exact words
THE......FLU
If you are one of those people, you probably want to look at some pictures of kittens right now. This is for everybody else.
The current Flu, which, on this occasion, has been renamed Coronavirus, tm
is nothing if not one small step for government mandated quarantine/ papers please rail travel,
one giant leap for cold symptoms.
And unlike Neil Armstrong, I think I can recall seeing stars.. all the usual suspects, in fact.
There are the stars of the human fallibility camp- a laboratory spill.
The human reduction plan starring, the New World Order (orders which must be obeyed)
The excuse to crash the market plan, starring the banking wing of the NWO (orders which must be filled or killed)
The excuse to blame China plan, starring the Neo Con wing of the NWO (Orders that must no longer be made in China )
'It was the Russians' plan starring the Democrat wing of the NWO (oh, for the wings of a dove)
'It was bats', by the media wing of the NWO,, ( holy corona, Batman. It tastes like..... bat soup, Robin. Avoid chinese take aways for 3 weeks.)
AND THE WINNER IS..
..The simpsons!
Yes , you missed it. The whole thing was predicted in a cartoon nobody actually watches anymore because all the TV's have been taken to the dump.
AND THE LOSERS ARE..
The public!
Let's hear those talkin' points, really wanna hear them now..
really wanna hear those expert opinions from the people who always have an opinion and are looking for a topic to talk about..
They are not telling us the real numbers
They are not telling us the truth
They are telling us the truth....but not all of it
Ah, but they're exaggerating the numbers
Yes but that is only to scare us
No, it's just to cover themselves in case they got the numbers wrong- they are the ones who are scared
Nobody knows the real numbers.
I do
Some people do, but I don't like them so I don't trust what they're telling me
No I do,... I'm....
Spit it out man
I'm a whistle blower..
Keep it to yourself if I was you, Remember Chelsea, remember Assange.
We need to multiply the numbers by 10k
Why?
Well.. I dunno, some guy I never heard of said we need to
Did you see that on the television? (SMH)
Forget the numbers, what's really going on here?
Haven't we been through this a few times before?
Not like this... this time they're shutting down entire countries
Obviously this flu is more serious than,, flu usually is
How do you know?
Flu is a virus
No, it's a disease
No it 'aint, you're both wrong, it starts out as a virus but then it becomes a disease
It's just fukcing Flu , cough...cough...cough.. FFS
What about Spanish Flu?
That was different
How?
It actually killed ..millions. Do we really want to take that chance?
Yeah,, I guess we better do exactly what we're told, just in case.
Better safe than sorry
The problem with that is we are shutting down entire countries because of flu symptoms
They wont shut us down..we're British, they wouldn't dare
They'll shut down the poor people..
Yeah the rich will use the M25 as a quarantine area , they'll be fine
I feel like the sheep in Animal farm
Me too, I dunno who to believe next, I'm listening to everybody right now
Animal farm was a warning
Nah,, Orwell was working for MI6
Actually this is more like 1984
More like Brave New World you mean
It's all three..
No, it's more like that book that guy wrote in 1988
It was 1998
I made 64k in 3 hours trading binaries..
Satan is behind this
You mean the NWO?
No, I mean shapeshifting reptile satans and his little helpers
Yeah, that's what I said the NWO
Oh jesus save us..
Save us from the virus or save us from stupid people?
Who you calling stupid?
Nazi
omg they killed kenny
You heard the latest?
No.. I had to take a leak
You missed loads mate, listen to this..
.".experts now believe that the virus incubates for a while first and.
Incubates? what are you, a doctor, or a science fiction writer?
.. we might have to test people who might have it but not yet show any symptoms"
Did someone say Simpsons?
It wasn't the Simpsons, it was the cover of the Economist
It was neither
It was both
It was neither and both.. geddit?
No
Yes, I get it, I've always got it
What, you got the virus?
Get him out of here
We may have to test them all Mr President..
How many people are we going to test?
Well.. 7 billion I guess. It's the only way to be sure
But they might get it the day after you test them.
Then we will just have to test them every day...or hourly if I say so OK!?
Ok, Ok but I want the market back to new highs before the elections.
Someone needs to pay for the losses in revenue the corps are taking.
Hmm, the public is tapped out right now...
Bill, how soon can you and Melinda start testing the untested vaccines on Africa?
Get them to pay for it in diamonds and cobalt.....that'll cover most of it..
Well we're waiting for Israel to find the cure, but some idiot ran his mouth off in the media about it taking 2 years to develop a new vaccine at a cost of .. what time is it now? $4 million past half past £6million... is that 10 minutes already $25million
Ok, so we need a new cover story, big deal,
I got people working on it now..
Who you got Ted?
Well.. everybody
Not enough.. hire another 25 thousand liars and bill California for it..
I'm on it
..And start adding some more zeros on those case numbers... I wanna see people fighting to the death over the last toilet roll in kmart.
7 billion...mmm... might be time to start buying pharmacueticals soon...
This announcement ,which could not be more serious, (or urgent) is for the urgent attention of all those who are easily and seriously scared of...
Dry throat
coughing
sneezing
aching
tiredness
lemsip
..for less than 2 weeks
... in other words,,. nah fcuk it, not in other words, these exact words
THE......FLU
If you are one of those people, you probably want to look at some pictures of kittens right now. This is for everybody else.
The current Flu, which, on this occasion, has been renamed Coronavirus, tm
is nothing if not one small step for government mandated quarantine/ papers please rail travel,
one giant leap for cold symptoms.
And unlike Neil Armstrong, I think I can recall seeing stars.. all the usual suspects, in fact.
There are the stars of the human fallibility camp- a laboratory spill.
The human reduction plan starring, the New World Order (orders which must be obeyed)
The excuse to crash the market plan, starring the banking wing of the NWO (orders which must be filled or killed)
The excuse to blame China plan, starring the Neo Con wing of the NWO (Orders that must no longer be made in China )
'It was the Russians' plan starring the Democrat wing of the NWO (oh, for the wings of a dove)
'It was bats', by the media wing of the NWO,, ( holy corona, Batman. It tastes like..... bat soup, Robin. Avoid chinese take aways for 3 weeks.)
AND THE WINNER IS..
..The simpsons!
Yes , you missed it. The whole thing was predicted in a cartoon nobody actually watches anymore because all the TV's have been taken to the dump.
AND THE LOSERS ARE..
The public!
Let's hear those talkin' points, really wanna hear them now..
really wanna hear those expert opinions from the people who always have an opinion and are looking for a topic to talk about..
They are not telling us the real numbers
They are not telling us the truth
They are telling us the truth....but not all of it
Ah, but they're exaggerating the numbers
Yes but that is only to scare us
No, it's just to cover themselves in case they got the numbers wrong- they are the ones who are scared
Nobody knows the real numbers.
I do
Some people do, but I don't like them so I don't trust what they're telling me
No I do,... I'm....
Spit it out man
I'm a whistle blower..
Keep it to yourself if I was you, Remember Chelsea, remember Assange.
We need to multiply the numbers by 10k
Why?
Well.. I dunno, some guy I never heard of said we need to
Did you see that on the television? (SMH)
Forget the numbers, what's really going on here?
Haven't we been through this a few times before?
Not like this... this time they're shutting down entire countries
Obviously this flu is more serious than,, flu usually is
How do you know?
Flu is a virus
No, it's a disease
No it 'aint, you're both wrong, it starts out as a virus but then it becomes a disease
It's just fukcing Flu , cough...cough...cough.. FFS
What about Spanish Flu?
That was different
How?
It actually killed ..millions. Do we really want to take that chance?
Yeah,, I guess we better do exactly what we're told, just in case.
Better safe than sorry
The problem with that is we are shutting down entire countries because of flu symptoms
They wont shut us down..we're British, they wouldn't dare
They'll shut down the poor people..
Yeah the rich will use the M25 as a quarantine area , they'll be fine
I feel like the sheep in Animal farm
Me too, I dunno who to believe next, I'm listening to everybody right now
Animal farm was a warning
Nah,, Orwell was working for MI6
Actually this is more like 1984
More like Brave New World you mean
It's all three..
No, it's more like that book that guy wrote in 1988
It was 1998
I made 64k in 3 hours trading binaries..
Satan is behind this
You mean the NWO?
No, I mean shapeshifting reptile satans and his little helpers
Yeah, that's what I said the NWO
Oh jesus save us..
Save us from the virus or save us from stupid people?
Who you calling stupid?
Nazi
omg they killed kenny
You heard the latest?
No.. I had to take a leak
You missed loads mate, listen to this..
.".experts now believe that the virus incubates for a while first and.
Incubates? what are you, a doctor, or a science fiction writer?
.. we might have to test people who might have it but not yet show any symptoms"
Did someone say Simpsons?
It wasn't the Simpsons, it was the cover of the Economist
It was neither
It was both
It was neither and both.. geddit?
No
Yes, I get it, I've always got it
What, you got the virus?
Get him out of here
We may have to test them all Mr President..
How many people are we going to test?
Well.. 7 billion I guess. It's the only way to be sure
But they might get it the day after you test them.
Then we will just have to test them every day...or hourly if I say so OK!?
Ok, Ok but I want the market back to new highs before the elections.
Someone needs to pay for the losses in revenue the corps are taking.
Hmm, the public is tapped out right now...
Bill, how soon can you and Melinda start testing the untested vaccines on Africa?
Get them to pay for it in diamonds and cobalt.....that'll cover most of it..
Well we're waiting for Israel to find the cure, but some idiot ran his mouth off in the media about it taking 2 years to develop a new vaccine at a cost of .. what time is it now? $4 million past half past £6million... is that 10 minutes already $25million
Ok, so we need a new cover story, big deal,
I got people working on it now..
Who you got Ted?
Well.. everybody
Not enough.. hire another 25 thousand liars and bill California for it..
I'm on it
..And start adding some more zeros on those case numbers... I wanna see people fighting to the death over the last toilet roll in kmart.
7 billion...mmm... might be time to start buying pharmacueticals soon...
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