During my years in the car biz, I dealt with many many customers in your exact position. There is only one way to lower your payments, CASH, and lot's of it. In a re-fi, a bank is only going to give you 80% of that 14k so you're going to need around 8 grand to re-fi the car. If you were to trade it in, you would need a car with a HUGE rebate
to help offset the negative before the loan would come in line, and you'd just be in the same boat or worse. If you're buying the house in an equitable position, maybe you can get enough cash out to help.